Monday, December 29, 2008
International News
The Gosselins are on the cover of Parents Canada.
Click here to read the article. Click on Read More to see some statistics from the article.
FROM THE ARTICLE:
POSTNATAL COSTS
The following is a cost comparison between a three-person family with one infant and families with twins, triplets, quads and quints (two parents) based on Social Planning Council of Metropolitan Toronto’s Guides for Family Budgeting.
** Comparison allows for basic essentials of infants. Does not allow for
1) cost of diaper service or disposable diapers,
2) cost of transportation needs when a larger vehicle is required to accommodate three, four or five car seats,
3) cost of moving to larger accommodation or renovations to existing accommodation,
4) cost of help for the family,
5) loss of second family income – childcare for multiples is costly.
Note: A 1983 study revealed that a mother of six-month-old-triplets needs to expend an average of 197.5 hours per week (out of a possible 168) between herself and paid/volunteer assistance, on the care of her children and home. This did not include a time allowance for mother to bathe, dress, sleep, eat, relax or talk with partner.
Statistics courtesy of Multiple Births Canada. multiplebirthscanada.org
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38 comments:
Kate Gosselin FTW! I wonder if she gets tired answering the same old questions over and over again.
I think it is a nice article. It made me see things a little differently. I have thought that Kate seemed to take a lot for granted as far as volunteers and help goes. But different interviews she gives, make me think that maybe she was just in survival mode. I think she is concerned about her family and seems to have done whatever it takes to make sure her kids are happy and healthy with food on the table. She has had to make trade offs, but she seems to have been successful. I think she is so focused on the responsibility of her family, that she comes across as self-centered. She comes across that she thinks she is the only person that has been down this road. I don't think she really feels this way. Again, I attribute a lot of it to editing. I think she probably has a good heart, but this show is her business.
With her admitted control issues, I'm sure she feels like she has to step on toes if necessary to control her children's enviroment.
Just a thought. I wonder if they had been through fertility issues longer, and perhaps had been a little older, if they might have come across differently. Most women I know that have had years of fertility disappointments are so thrilled with their brood(multiples), that I don't hear a lot of complaining.(Of course, I don't know anyone with sextuplets--but I have read interviews.) I just wonder if she focused more on the miracle of six healthy babies, that she might come off different. She is a polarizing figure, but I really think she is not as bad as she is made to appear.
Perhaps I'm the only one who felt this way ... but when my kids were under four, I was in survival mode and I only have two of them. Both are very active and one was very moody -- still is to some extent but has lessened some.
interesting... and i agree with florida mom that it seemed to show her in a different light. of course many will cry "damage control" but i don't think thats it. i understand what a blessing it must be to have eight kids and be able to stay home and not worry about the bills. i just wish they could find a way other then constant cameras in the house. i'd like to see them cut back to a few specials a year and rely more on speaking engagements, product representations and writing another book. i'd also like to see jon get a job, if nothing else than to teach the kids that one has to work hard to have the things we want in life. JMO:)
This was a great article. Good questions and firm, but honest answers from Kate. Not a puff piece and not a gossipy third-hand account of the Gosselins supposedly living high on the hog. How refreshing. Thank you Canada! :-)
My favorite quotes from Kate:
"Until you are in our house facing our issues, you have no right to judge us."
We know people will judge. The question is whether their judgements are worth anything. In my opinion, they aren't unless they have faced very similar circumstances. And 99% of those flapping their gums incessantly haven't a clue.
"I am blessed to be able to be here more days than not."
"I want my kids to look back on their childhood knowing that they had two parents present and involved and understand that we did everything to better their lives."
I think this expresses her POV quite nicely.
I also loved the pictures!
This is OT but I have tried to find the answer elsewhere with now luck so I thought I'd ask here. I just finished watching the "giving back" episode and was wondering what CD Kate was giving away at St. Judes. I don't think she ever told the name, does anyone know?
I thought it was a nice interview as well. I have also wondered why interviewers seem to ask her the same questions every time! Yawn. But I felt she answered well, and did get her point of view across well.
It really bothers me when I see people downgrade Kate's pregnancy experience, hospitalization, and NICU experience with six babies. I keep seeing so many comments about how she has no idea what pain is, what suffering is, what others have gone through. I totally disagree. Yes, she doesn't know what it is like to lose a child. And comparing her to a solider overseas is extremely reaching. None of those people have a clue what it felt like to be carrying six babies at once. I'm sure it was physically painful, not to mention isolating as she was forced to stay home and then in the hospital. I also can't imagine the buildup of trying to get all six babies to survive in utero, and then suddenly, they are all out of your body, and in the NICU. I'm sure the pressure of having not one, but six tiny babies in serious condition was extremely stressful.
Kate hasn't had perfect behavior. She hasn't gone through a lot of very difficult situations that others have. She can have a tendency to whine. I find it, however, extremely unfair to downplay what she went through. Supported or not, their family went though an experience that is extremely rare, all the while with the added stress of a husband who doesn't have a job, and two small children at home. Having donations and helpers doesn't mean that things were perfectly rosy for the Gosselins.
None of those people have a clue what it felt like to be carrying six babies at once. I'm sure it was physically painful, not to mention isolating as she was forced to stay home and then in the hospital. I also can't imagine the buildup of trying to get all six babies to survive in utero, and then suddenly, they are all out of your body, and in the NICU. I'm sure the pressure of having not one, but six tiny babies in serious condition was extremely stressful.
I think that before I read Multiple Blessings I would have said that I "got" how tough Kate's pregnancy was for her. But reading it really reminded me - wow, carrying that many babies at once, the time on bed rest, the time in the hospital, the stresses it placed on her body, along with the worries about their financial situation, their ability to care for the babies, and for the health of the babies themselves - I think it was probably extremely traumatic and I would even venture to guess something that may have had a lastly effect on Kate's personality. So I agree; it bothers me also when people dismiss or downplay what she went through to bring those children into the world. I don't think she need/deserves praise - it was her choice. But for people to make it sound like a walk in the park, or even worse, some sort of deliberate choice that the Gosselins made in order to scam the public - it just makes me feel like some people have such ugly minds, to even think such things.
I was miserable the last month of my pregnancy, I can't imagine the discomfort/pain that comes with carrying 6 at once- not to mention the mental strain/stress. I still haven't read the book, but I plan to soon. The interview was great and when she speaks of criticism it makes me wonder what outlet she's referring to.
That was a nice article. I just disagree that God had anything to do with Kate having 6 babies. Science paved the way for her to have those babies.
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My favorite quotes from Kate:
"Until you are in our house facing our issues, you have no right to judge us."
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But they invite us in their house, on vacations, to school, the doctor and to their wedding...how can we not judge them. What are they expecting....just take everything we see and say, "how nice?"
BTW, did anyone see the "We're moving" ad on TLC last night?
I think seeing them in their new house will be interesting. I think it would be so funny if it turned out to be a different house!
Still wonder how the Gwopper's got that info...makes you wonder about the people Jon and Kate were dealing with to leak that info.
Fiona said..But they invite us in their house, on vacations, to school, the doctor and to their wedding...how can we not judge them. What are they expecting....just take everything we see and say, "how nice?"
December 30, 2008 7:43 AM
______________________________
Sometimes it takes more to not judge and try to understand than to judge.
As I know I've said before and sound like a broken record, I'm sure...people should focus on what it missing in their own lives and fix it instead of criticizing and judging people who are on an edited reality tv show and you don't know what it really is like living in their house.
I agree with Fiona that the Gosselins have opened their lives up for judgement. It is a price you pay for fame. I'm not saying it is right, but it is a fact of life. The more famous they become, the more scrutiny they will find themselves under. Just as a lot of people have made judgements about the Duggars having 18 kids.
I think most people make judgements daily. Unfortunately, Kate seems to bring out an unreasonable anger in a relatively small group of people.
If you read other stories about celebrities, you find under comments, a lot of crazy,hate-filled posts.
I think Jon and Kate have more of this because they have shared so much of their life with the public.
Again, I think it is the sad trade off for financial security.
Sometimes it takes more to not judge and try to understand than to judge.
As I know I've said before and sound like a broken record, I'm sure...people should focus on what it missing in their own lives and fix it instead of criticizing and judging people who are on an edited reality tv show and you don't know what it really is like living in their house.
December 30, 2008 8:17 AM
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I watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 for entertainment and I blog as a pastime...a hobby.
I think it is extremely presumptious for you to insinuate there is something in my life that needs fixing or that is broken because of my take on a TV show.
Perhaps you are looking at things with rose colored glasses.
And Florida Mom, I think one can comment about the Gosselin's without hate and bitterness.
One can make observations and speculations without being filled with bitterness or lacking something in their own personal life!
I can say I think Kate is cold and anxiety riddened and still have a very full and exciting life myself.
No Fiona, I am not looking at things with rose colored glasses. I look at things in a very practical way. Thus, it's an edited show and I think it's nuts to judge and analyze every move on people when we know we're not seeing the whole, true picture. That being said, we are all entitled to think what we want.
I never insinuated that you have something that needs fixing in your life because of your take on a show. I wrote it as an in general reason why people judge...there's most likely something wrong in their lives and it's easier to judge others than work on your (an in general your)life. Sometimes reading black and white can be misunderstood.
I, too watch J&K+8 for entertainment, too. And, I know that what is presented to me is an edited tv show and not to assume or presume anything about the people or situations as I don't know them.
I really liked this article... it showed her as being assertive, caring, and thoughtful about her kids lives and their future. The comment about not having to worry about how they will pay their electric bill also struck me as really genuine-- can't imagine the stress their finances were under during the tups first year or so!!
scarfoot, I agree with you that so many judge and criticize Kate while comparing her to the life they lived and what other people go through. Thats something we all need to be careful of in this online world where people can pretend and where true life is not always portrayed accurately.
How about this-- Anyone want to sit there and tell me I am a bad person for the situations I am in now? I mean yeah, I'm not on tv, but if you want to tell me over the internet without knowing me how I should be living my life then go for it. I most likely won't listen and I can't guarantee I'll be kind in response, but I'll go ahead and put my life out there for everyone to nitpick. Cause after all, I made choices in my life that were maybe not the best and am reaping the results of it now. So.... I'm a really bad person, right? Anyone? Bueller??
(I'll go ahead and slice through the sarcasm now for us all...)
Theresa, you were dead on with saying we should all focus more on our own lives than trying to dissect some TV show. A few months ago when I first found all the Gosselin blogs (back in the days of PM... lol) I got SO into it and was almost addicted to researching and finding more information. I poured over message boards, blogs, and comments. Then I realized that I am missing out on some great experiences in life because of the time I take to try and determine where in the world people say "yoghurt" instead of "yogurt." I love being a part of this site because we make the effort to really show what different people think and offer more of a level playing field than other sites. At the same time, we all have to decide for ourselves what we really think and where our priorities lie instead of trying to tell others what they should think or where they should be prioritizing their lives...
(as a side note, my little sarcastic rant was not at ALL against anyone here. after I posted it I realized it might be construed that way-- I just get really frustrated when people talk about how someone they have never met should live their lives... none of us would stand for that, so why should Kate?)
Theresa,
I misunderstood you then. I don't think people on this site over analyze or judge every move, so I thought it was directed at me.
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Theresa, you were dead on with saying we should all focus more on our own lives than trying to dissect some TV show.
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I think we can watch a TV show, at least most of us, without losing any focus on our day to day responsibilites.
I thought it was you Lizabeth who said not long ago that you would not be blogging much at all do to school, and yet here you are a moderator now? Somehow you have found a balance....right???
(as a side note, my little sarcastic rant was not at ALL against anyone here. after I posted it I realized it might be construed that way-- I just get really frustrated when people talk about how someone they have never met should live their lives... none of us would stand for that, so why should Kate?)
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Maybe I missed something, has anyone done that on this thread?
"A 1983 study revealed that a mother of six-month-old-triplets needs to expend an average of 197.5 hours per week (out of a possible 168) between herself and paid/volunteer assistance, on the care of her children and home. This did not include a time allowance for mother to bathe, dress, sleep, eat, relax or talk with partner."
See this is why I believe posters who condemn J&K (mainly Kate) while they sit at home with two or three children spaced out by a couple of years have no clue as to the actual work involved - the hours upon hours of caregiving without a break for oneself and the effect that can have on one. Again, everyone will have an opinion and judging is part of human nature, but in this case, it is judging without any idea of what you are talking about.
I also thought the stats on the cost of raising multiples were very interesting although I think the 'picture' is less than complete when disposable diapers are not included in the calculation!
Anya,
I agree with your post.
I watched the show last night when Jon takes over for a few days, and I really stopped to think how much work it would be to take care of the kids...just the basic stuff, like food, baths...and it would be a ton of work.
Of course I do not know if he had a nanny helping him or not-but assuming it was just him...WHOA....I would not want to do that day in and day out, although I think one day and nite would be fun, I think....
Okay Fiona, because I was agreeing with you :)
Anya wrote:
See this is why I believe posters who condemn J&K (mainly Kate) while they sit at home with two or three children spaced out by a couple of years have no clue as to the actual work involved - the hours upon hours of caregiving without a break for oneself and the effect that can have on one.
In my opinion, they are using the show as a creative way to generate income for the family so that both parents can support each other in the child-raising while the kids are not in school.
A while ago I got a lot of "business" from posters who wondered why can't J&K work separate shifts "like the rest of us do" when daycare costs are too high. To me, the reason is what you stated Anya. That it is emotionally and physically too much day in and day out to be doing that level of caregiving for kids who are all at or about the same age level.
Someone wrote elsewhere that parents of multiples have an even higher divorce rate than other couples especially when the kids are young and completely dependent.
I think it is extremely presumptious for you to insinuate there is something in my life that needs fixing or that is broken because of my take on a TV show.
I don't think you (or any of us) can have it both ways - if we think it's okay to judge the Gosselins based on what we see on TV, it seems reasonable to also believe that we have the right to judge each other based on what we write here. You may not like the judgments made about you, but it seems to me that they are no more "presumptuous" than the judgments that we all make about the Gosselins.
Sure Guin,
It is the same thing!
EVERYBODY, get a life! :)
Mods, I wrote a comment, hit the wrong button and lost it. I am not sure if it went through or not. Just an fyi. I was trying to fix a sentence that went no where LOL!
Thanks.
Mary
Mary
No we did not receive anything else from you.
Thanks
I think whether we are judging the Gosselins or judging each other (and others in blogland), we should just be cognizant that we our assesments are based on limited information - only a portion of the whole picture.
That is not going to stop me from having opinions about people who think it is ok to mock young children and or wish ill tidings on their parents, but I also don't presume to really "know them" inside and out.
Theresa made a very general observation that I believe does have truth in it, but I don't think anyone *here* should take personal offense or believe it is directed at them.
That's right Anya. It was a general statement.
I enjoy all my friends here and I like our discussions. And, I count you all as such even if we do disagree.
Sometimes what's in black and white can be mis-read. That's why we all need video conferencing. :)
Ah...Patrick Swayze. That makes me sad....
Ah...Patrick Swayze. That makes me sad....
Me too.
IMO, it is okay to make a passing judgement. We do it everyday. I judge strawberry ice cream to be better than vanilla. It's another, to harshly judge a family you don't know. There is no excuse for the hateful, bitter, angry judgements that are made for the most mundane reasons. I love Kate's attitude. I've been telling people forever that J&K are doing what they believe is best for their family. The quote about the childrens' future only makes me believe that more.
Welcome Honeyhush (love your name!).
Nice to see a new poster.
I agree with everything you said and the way you said it! Well, I probably would have said chocolate was better than vanilla, but's that's why I like this board - diversity of opinion! :-)
See you around.
I just mentioned over by me that right after you wrote about the Gosselins in Parents Magazine GWOP added it to their site. So I guess your blog should be honored that they look to you for material to gripe about.
I too thought that this was a really good article and not about the same things she normally talks about. Recently its been hard to find an article with something new and fresh in it. I agree that sometimes you could become so focused on your family it may appear to come off as self-centered. Especially in poor Kate's case.
I thought it was great that she stated they no longer have to worry about how they will pay the electric bill. That is honesty regarding the fact that they are now financially well off.
Thanks Anya. I've been reading around the site today and have to say, it's rare and refreshing to see posters treat each other w/ respect on a J&K forum.
honeyhush:
Welcome and well said!!!
Not to be negative (well actually, I love being negative, LOL) I wish this article had included a picture of the Gosselins that is not 2 years old. I'm sure that the Gosselins have had newer family pictures taken, and I wonder why they aren't used?
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