Monday, February 16, 2009

Is Kate mad at (or mad about) Jon?

Written by Mom

Many people in the Gosselin blogosphere world say that Kate is an angry person — especially when it comes to how she treats Jon. Many say something along the lines of "Kate's just being Kate." It seems the recently-aired lecture regarding coupons struck a nerve with some viewers. Was it really about the coupon and saving twenty bucks? Possibly.

Martha Brockenbrough, a published author and writer for Parenting recently wrote Mad at Dad – We love our husbands — so why are we so angry at them, so often? Apparently, the story has hit home with many moms, as it is currently the most popular read article at You can view the article in its entirety by clicking here.

Parenting surveyed more than 1,000 mothers on MomConnection – an online panel of moms. Here are a few of the statistics:

* 46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more.
* 44% are peeved that dads often don’t notice what needs to be done around the house with the kids. This number jumps to 54% for moms with three-plus children.
* 40% are angry that their husbands seem clueless about the best way to take care of kids.
* 40% are mad that Dad cannot multitask.
* 31% say their husbands don’t help with chores – in fact, they generate more.
* 33% of moms say their husbands aren’t shouldering equal responsibility and are less concerned than they are about their children’s basic needs, like nutrition and clothing — a number that rises to 41% for those with 3+ kids.
* 50% of moms tell us their husbands get more time for themselves.
* The lack of “time off” is a huge issue for the moms who carry the most anger. Over 60% of moms who get mad weekly — and almost three-quarters of those who are angry every day – feel this way.
* 60% of moms don’t tell their friends what they’re going through, or they make light of it.

According to this article, Kate Gosselin, like many moms, gets peeved (and pissed) at their spouse. As prevalent or ridiculous as some of the instances may be to many, Jon and Kate seem to get through these harried moments and move forward. Which, according to Martha (Brockenbrough) is a “good thing.”

What do you think? Has television portrayed Kate Gosselin in a negative light because of her “not-so-great mom moments?” Can you relate to Kate being infuriated over something like letting the kids watch TV at naptime or not clipping a coupon? What’s the most ridiculous thing you have gotten pissed at your hubby over?


Florida Mom said...

I get irritated at my husband on a routine basis, but this show has really helped me. I bite my tongue about the little stuff daily. I see how ridiculous it sounds coming out of Kate's mouth and assume that it would sound equally ridiculous coming out of my mouth. 1. Don't sweat the small stuff. 2. It's all small stuff. 3. Speak to your husband as you would like him to speak to you. I don't like to be spoken to like I'm the village idiot, and I'm sure he feels the same way.

It's easy to use stress and work as an excuse, but would I talk to anyone else that way. No wonder marriages have such a dismal survival rate.

Too Funny said...

I really don't think too much of it all. It all comes across to me like Kate just likes things done a certain way and tends to get aggravated if they aren't done that way.

But, I doubt that means she hates Jon and/or dislikes or has a problem with him.

SamanthaNC said...

I can relate to that poll! Although in all fairness to my husband when he does help with things that I usually do, I'm probably guilty of letting him know that he didnt do it the way I wanted it done......

It appears that Jon shoulders an equal amount as Kate as far caring for the kids, he seems to play with them more while she cooks and does stuff around the house.

I do think she is too hard on him and the footage that is shown often comes off badly.

I wouldnt want cameras in my house showing every cranky word I utter to my husband, thats for sure. Would I look like a Kate? Maybe, I don't know (I hope not), Jon has often been guilty of saying things to Kate that I have found very rude- I can't help but wonder if we are only seeing a small portion of that. BC what we are seeing is so condensed I do think that we are seeing exaggerated versions of them. Did it all happen? Of course. But when you show three squabbles in 30 minutes that actually ocurred over a week long period it seems worse than it is!

Saint said...

I think Kate does come off poorly when she is scolding Jon. I think their squabbles are hard for some people to take because most people would never argue in front of strangers the way we see them argue in front of cameras. Of course, editing is a big part of it. A portion of viewers watch Jon and Kate Plus Eight because they "love to hate" her so we will be guaranteed to see more of it in the future.

My husband never, ever speaks harshly to me. He's the definition of a nice guy. I am clearly not as "saintly." When we were first married, I was irritated that he "didn't know how to do anything." Almost 20 years of marriage has taught me that there is more than one right way to run a house and family, and I am a much better person for letting him show me new ways of doing things. We rarely even disagree anymore,and never argue.

themrs said...

i'm not going to get into my feelings for kate, because honestly, i just don't really like her :)
as far as getting mad at my husband, i do get mad at him for silly things. usually because i'm frustrated at something else (my kids!) and it comes out at him. he's super hands on with all the kids and around the house so thats not usually an issue. sometimes i get jealous that he gets to leave every day and go to work LOL. i'm sure he's jealous that i get to stay home. when i snap at him for something stupid i always try to come right back and apologize. he does the same. we have four kids and one on the way so sometimes we just get stressed out. we can't take it out on the kids or his boss or the person who threw trash in our yard so it comes out at each other. i think that's probably typical. but we always work it out and we never stay mad. thankfully, we both have a lot of grace with each other!
i remember one day specifically when i got so mad at him for going out to lunch with his mom to my favorite restaurant. i was pregnant (i'm always pregnant:) and i was sooo mad that he ate there without me. of course, about ten minutes after i freaked out i realized how completely ridiculous i was being. i prefer to blame it on hormones!

Nina Bell said...


I was just reading your blog when your comment came through. Congratulations and what a surprise. You will have take a new picture for your avatar.

lulubae said...

I'm most certainly have my moments when it comes to my husband but I'm very good about accepting my faults and apologizing when I skirt the line (so is he), especially because we are both under a lot of stress in our lines of work. We do love each other a great deal as a whole. With the good and the bad.

At the end of the day, I think it really doesn't matter how people feel Kate treats Jon. If Jon can live with her and he loves her the way she it is, it really only is his issue to deal with! IMHO anyways!

marci said...

The pattern I've observed forming between Kate and Jon is one many couples get into, but I think theirs is exaggerated by their circumstances. Kate pushes Jon to listen, try to head off problems, and basically engage. And Jon tends to pull the passive-aggresive card when she starts going too far as a defense mechanism. He either clams up and makes a face or he snipes back.

I think part of his thinking is that, if he doesn't respond, Kate will, I think he's trying not to have a drawn out argument in the interview chair. I've seen him give it back to her when they're not sitting there.

What he may not see is that clamming up in response to Kate just makes her push harder, IMO.

It's a pattern they repeat over and over. Sometimes it's more obvious than others, but, from what little I've seen, it's definately a pattern.

Let me say, I think their relationship is not unique in this...nor is the universal attraction of watching someone engage in and talk about their marital relationships on tv. Talk shows would never have taken off in the 1980s if there weren't women wanting their husbands to talk to them more and do more around the house, etc., and their respective husbands weren't held captive in the interview chair next to them. :)

Now, I think Jon does A LOT around that house and with his kids. I think he's actually pretty good keeping things running. I believe the last few shows we've seen were filmed as the transition to Kate being on the road more began, and I believe we're witnessing the "adjustment" period.

I think Kate and Jon both have bad moments on the show. And, love it or hate it, that's why people watch.

I'd rather poke my eye out... said...

I really like this article and it definitely rings true to a lot of my feelings/frustrations w/my own hubby. IMO, Kate may be struggling with not "running the show" around home as much now that she's been traveling so much more without Jon. She is a control freak and I'm sure it bothers her that she isn't able to control every little aspect anymore and therefore we are seeing a little "overkill" about things like the coupon. Even though this show is "reality" a lot of realize that the show is edited for drama. However, I still think Kate's attitude towards Jon during the couch interviews is pretty obnoxious.

An Imperfect Wife said...

As I've gotten older, I've toned down my sarcasm towards my husband. I admit, I used to get very frustrated with him, and I regret that.

I do think Kate (and Jon, too) have their "moments" and I cringe. BUT....who am I to judge? I'm not in their shoes. I don't live their life.

I've read some horrible things about them from those I guess are such perfect people, they never do their husbands or kids wrong. If only we could be so perfect.

I think Jon and Kate love each other and are doing the best they can. I also know they aren't perfect and have a lot they could work on. (A happier marriage, reuniting with family, etc). If the show really cared about them, maybe they would help out in some way? But then, they wouldn't have the drama that has sparked a million "I hate Kate!!" websites.

Lizabeth said...

I have a guy friend who is now mocked constantly for saying "I can multitask- I just can't do it at the same time." Humor aside, I have always thought that was a really intriguing point. This is part of why my dad and brothers don't really understand how I work-- believe it or not I am able to play with my nephew while on a call for work as I scan spreadsheets and jot down notes for myself. Its just what has to be done. I think thats part of why I kinda 'get' Kate-- she does what she has to do (especially after reading "Multiple Blessings" and seeing how much she did while pregnant to help the tups) to get the job done. This is not always interpreted by outsiders as helpful or necessarily kind but I do think she has good intentions.

I really think Jon and Kate highlight how so many families are, and while some recoil at the way their relationship is portrayed it is (from the stats here) far more common than I had realized. Marci, I completely agree that their situation is intensified by the TV show. Even last night they were joking and enjoying each others company in the tile store as well as playing with their kids... then the chair time comes and both seemed out of it and just tired.

Congratulations, themrs!! You will have your hands full but that must be so exciting :).

Eileen said...

I certainly can't judge anyone because I used to go ballistic on my husband and five kids a lot. Every little infraction I blew out of proportion. Whether the kids forgot to take out the garbage, or not keeping the room clean, or knocking over a glass of milk, or there was a policeman knocking on the door for something they did, I treated everything like it was the same mortal sin, and went equally nuts over everything, from the time they were toddlers through their teen years (maybe that's why I had police at the door). I feel really horrible about all that now. I get a sick feeling inside every time I remember one of my outbursts. I've gotten much, much,better over the years and I don't berate my husband anymore. My kids are grown now and I do have a nice relationship with them in spite of my past, but I think I will carry that guilt with me all my life.
Kate Gosselin is not looking for my advice so I won't give it.

GLO said...

I would agree with Marci that J&K's relationship is probably pretty typical. They may not be communicating well, but at least they're communicating.

Quoted from the article "How Emotional Distance Ruins Marriage":
"...just because you seldom argue doesn't mean your marriage is strong. The real silent killer of marriage is distancing yourself from your partner.

The solution? Don't worry so much about your fight response – that instinct to duke it out verbally. Instead, focus on your flight response – the instinct to avoid your partner."

I don't think that Kate would allow their marriage to get "distant." LOL! She would badger Jon until he finally exploded and told her how he felt.

MarilynG said...

My first blog was a week or so ago, but the site I went to was horribly hateful. I had a simple question about J&K's parents and family. The response was intensely dark and awful, so awful I had to disengage. I'm on disability (after working for 40 years in case anyone wants to judge me negatively) for several health problems, one of which is depression. If I'd stayed at one of the "hate Kate" sites, it would have done me more harm than good, so I'm glad I found this site. Phew! That's a lot about me; sorry about that.

Mainly I wanted to say that like many, I wince at some things Kate says and does but I do think her intentions are good. I don't really care if TLC helped them buy the new house (as I saw claimed on the hateful site), I'm just glad the kids have so much room to play and grow.

I do wonder when Jon became a stay-at-home dad, which is great and I wish more dad's would do it. I must have missed something, because the last I heard he had a work-at-home job. Can someone enlighten me? Thanks.

indianprincess said...

I don't have a problem with Jon and Kate and the way Kate acts. I have a few married friends who communicate like them and it can be uncomtortable at times but I know my friends love each other. Jon and Kate are married and it's there relationship like it's my friends marriage and I don't have a say on how they should communicate with each other in there marriage. I just take care of my own marriage.

TheMrs. Congrats with your news.

rain88 said...

I find the interaction between Kate and Jon during the interview phase to be the least enjoyable part of the show. I know couples that are competitive with each other like Jon and Kate and I don't really enjoy being in their company. The episode where Kate and the girls went to the ceramics studio comes to mind. He was smug about how he imagined it was going and it was nothing like his negative perception of Kate freaking out.

My husband is a hands on father but didn't always do things the way I would have. I didn't complain because I had the feeling if I did he'd stop being so helpful.

Nina Bell said...

Well I have been married for 32 years this spring, so I have quite a few years to think back on. My husband and I get a long great and I would say that we will get a long well in retirement. We enjoy being together.

But it wasn't always so smooth. There were some very stressful times during our marriage. Working two jobs and finishing post graduate work with two small children can really turn one into a different person. One that I didn't always recognize (I am not talking about my husband.)

I would never say I was always mad or angry at my husband. Annoyed would be more accurate. I am very reserved in public and would never yell across a Toys R Us at him. But that is me.

I was never irate at him over coupons. Heck no, it would be the other way around. He loves coupons and most days I can't be bothered.

I just asked him what was the most ridiculous thing that I got upset with him about. He couldn't remember one thing. 32 years can forgive and forget a lot of behavior.

nomoredrama said...

I'm not going to lie and say I enjoy the interaction between Jon and Kate. It's a hazard of the job that I recognize destructive communication styles. Their communication style based on what I've seen? Pretty destructive.

She puts him down and is overtly aggressive (verbally) towards him. He bottles his emotions, is mostly passive-aggressive then sort of "explodes" (for lack of a better phrase) when he's had enough.

Top that off with the disagreements in front of the kids (which..I realize we're not in June Cleaver times and this can happen from time to time) and I think they win the prize for "need help communicating appropriately."

The fact that many couples can relate to this style of communication shows, in my opinion, that a lot of people aren't so good at communicating appropriately. We're human. It' easy to point the finger at someone you're watching from a distance. It's a whole different ball game when we point the finger at ourselves.

So I guess my point is, I don't think J &K's communication style should be glorified as positive just because a lot of people communicate poorly. On the other hand, I think we are all guilty of poor communication and could use some lessons in emotional expression.

I think this is an area that they, and all of us could use some work on.

Eileen said...

I'm no expert, but I think if Jon can ride it out, and be very forgiving, they can have a good marriage. I think as time goes on Kate will change and show that she appreciates what she has in the relationship.
I'm one of the lucky ones, my husband stuck by me through thick and thin for almost thirty-six years now. I hope that for the Gosselins too.
I'm not trying to put everything on Kate, I get what nomoredrama is saying about destructive communication, and that rests on both of them, but I know that is something that can be changed. But I also know that you have to want to change that behavior, and that's what I hope for them too. As you grow older you do grow a little wiser.

scarfoot said...

I really find their communication style wearing, and frustrating. If I wanted to see that, I have plenty of real life examples! HA. I really don't think that we can blame one spouse more than another, but Kate does come across more harshly. I do see that they love one another (in fact, I see that more with them than with the Roloffs, but that's not the point of this post), but I don't think they have the most healthy communication skills. I also wish they could work on this so that their children don't learn to communicate in this way as well.

I know I'd be the ugliest hag on the planet if I saw myself on TV! Hey, here's a thought, what if this IS their good behavior????

MonicaW42 said...

Kate can be cross with Jon. However I am not married to her or in their daily lives to know how it gets resolved. God help me if cameras were in my home to catch every mood and word I say to my husband. People would be calling for me to be burned at the stake.

VOR said...

I can relate to being angry about the "little" things. In some ways, my husband seems like Jon - he does things around the house, dislikes confrontations, does stuff for kids. However, he doesn't take responsibility for any of those things (Jon seems like he could be that way too, but its hard to tell from TV). My husband has to be asked, reminded and complemented. Over the years, we've talked about it. I've tried not ask & remind, but then it just doesn't happen.

So, yeah, I've had my share of blowing up at him at supposedly small things. I'm usually mad at the fact that even though he's doing stuff, I'm still responsible. Or I'm mad because he agreed to something (because he did not want to have a confrontation), but didn't really agree and doesn't follow through.

My seemingly insane fury over somthing small has been reduced as the kids get older. He's also a great Dad to the teens (much more relaxed than I am). I also think he is more he is taking more responsibility now as well.

So I guess I think sometimes the fury over small stuff is because there's bigger underlying stuff that isn't being addressed. But sometimes, the fury is just misplaced.

Maybe not my most ridiculous reason to be angry, but certainly my most recent fit of unreasonable anger, was because my husband hung my coat up in the closet rather than putting it on the hook. Hmm, maybe I should have taken care of it myself and not left it in the dining room! I blame perimenapausal hormones for that burst of anger and for the new giant zit on my chin. :)

Mary B said...

I have definitely seen a change in Kate in the past couple of episodes in the interview spot. She seemed very angry and had a definite attitude while sitting in the chair with her leg pulled up. Jon was doing all the talking. I have to say, I'm not as inclined to watch the show and am very disturbed with Maddy's temper tantrums. She needs to be disciplined or they are in for a very rough time as she gets older. I love to watch the little kids, they do fight a lot though. Wonder if they are like that around other children at school?

Guinevere said...

I have definitely seen a change in Kate in the past couple of episodes in the interview spot. She seemed very angry and had a definite attitude while sitting in the chair with her leg pulled up. Jon was doing all the talking.

I haven't noticed that Kate seems angry at all. Maybe tired. I don't see that there's anything wrong with Jon talking more.

One thing that has always puzzled me are the constant comments about how far apart J&K are sitting during the interviews, and the supposed significance of this. They are sitting on a small loveseat or a large chair. There's really only so far they can sit from each other!

I have to say, I'm not as inclined to watch the show and am very disturbed with Maddy's temper tantrums. She needs to be disciplined or they are in for a very rough time as she gets older.

I don't think there's any reason to believe Mady is not being disciplined or that her issues aren't being worked on. On the contrary, J&K have indicated that they are aware of Mady's issues and work with her on them. Some kids are more challenging than others but I think that Mady is a smart, vivacious and beautiful child and I do believe she'll be fine.

I love to watch the little kids, they do fight a lot though. Wonder if they are like that around other children at school?

I don't think they fight excessively. I think most people who've been around groups of small children around the same age would attest to the fact that the sextuplets' behavior is not out of the realm of normal.

jan said...

Sadly, I have to agree with Mary B. Kate's body language shows resentment when Jon is talking about what he did with the kids while she is gone, and even when she was present. Kate is use to being the speaker for the two and doesn't seem able to accept change. She critisizes and undermines Jon for the way he says things, the words he uses or the fact that he said anything at all. Yet, I don't notice Jon mimicking or making fun of her when she dresses up her words with "gurglies" or something like that. She interrupts him and speaks over him but resents it greatly if he does it. I really think she is jealous and I'm not sure why. Is it because he is able to handle all 8 of them when she is gone and she has to have help? Some people think it's funny, cute or normal for a wife to talk to her husband that way but it's not the way for a healthy relationship.

I've notice Jon's body language too and I think there is trouble in paradise. He makes faces at her, pulls away from her and makes it known that he has to keep his mouth shut.

Kate made a point in her renewal vows to respect him but I don't see it and I'm afraid she is driving a wedge between them with the way she treats him. I hope they can work it out because there is alot of good in their relationship to let this get in the way.

Sarah P. said...

this artical is so true. i witness my parents fighting all the time.

I do think kate can come off a little harsh at times but thats just her nature. i dont beleive she sits around to think of all the ways she can annoy people. I truly beleive she wants the best for her family and she has her own ideas of how to reach that goal. I think she trys her best to make a loving and nurturing enviorment and thats all thats important.

Virginia said...

I am going to disagree with most of you and say that I think the way Kate talks to Jon is terrible. She shows a lack of regard for him all the time and says such mean things about him and to him right in front of the kids that I know they are getting some very weird messages about how to treat a spouse.

And yes, I am married. I try to speak to my husband and kids as nicely as I would to my pastor or a person I meet on the street. If I have some gripe with my husband, I sure do not get personal and I sure do not say it in front of our 5 small kids.

How dare Kate say that her favorite Bible verse is the golden rule. Are you kidding me? Do unto others as you would they would do unto you (paraphrased). How can she be defended at all? How can anyone not see the vicious (sp?) nature of the woman? I just don't get it.

indianprincess said...

Virginia, Kate is human and she may not communicate the way WE the public wants her to communicate. She's who she is faults and all. You have every right to not like this woman so don't support her and don't watch her show. She's not going to change who she is because people in the blogshere is talking about it. Sure I cringe when I see Kate's behaviour when she's in a ugly moment but it doesn't really bother me because I'm not married to her and she's not my friend. The same way I'm not judging you for being so judgmental of a women you only see an edited version from a TV show. We're all who we are and that's life.

Guinevere said...

How dare Kate say that her favorite Bible verse is the golden rule. Are you kidding me? Do unto others as you would they would do unto you (paraphrased). How can she be defended at all? How can anyone not see the vicious (sp?) nature of the woman? I just don't get it.

I don't get being so angry at and hateful towards a total stranger. Your post implies that you are a Christian as well - does the Bible not also say, "Judge not lest ye be judged"? Why would you think that the rules apply to Kate Gosselin but not to you?

Jane said...

Oh, for heaven's sake! Get real!

I probably snap at my husband more than I have ever snapped at anyone else. He loves me so he forgives me for that bad behavior. However, I have never even approached belittling my husband in public as thoroughly as Kate does Jon. I occasionally snap at him in private when I'm hugely stressed.

The way Kate treats Jon is simply disgraceful. I don't care how stressed she thinks she is. Jon shows all the signs of an abused spouse. Verbal/emotional abuse counts as abuse.

I just don't think anyone should be subjected to public humiliation. It seems that Jon signed up for that in every confessional with TLC for the sake of supporting his children.

It makes me sad. For him, and for the tups who are learning some bad things from Mommy. Kate needs to learn some self-control.

Don't label me a hater, because I'm not. I admire Kate is many ways, but I can't imagine treating anyone as badly as she treats Jon. It makes me shudder and puts me off her good qualities.

nomoredrama said...

Jane I understand being frustrated with the communication style. It's uncomfortable for me to watch at times.

It's my opinion that they could really use some marriage counseling...

Virginia said...

Wow! When people put themselves on TV every week they open themselves up to being judged. You judge her as being special and kind and wonderful, or whatever, and I judge her not to be so very nice.

I love these kids and I used to really identify a bit with mom and dad. Even when others were not thrilled with them getting help from the church and from neighbors, I was with them because I know what it is like to have lots of kids, believe me. When the flu was going around their family, I sincerely felt for Kate as Jon was still working and I've been there with lots of sick kids.

She was exhausted and he was exhausted, but they still have a sense of humor and seemed to genuinely like each other and the kids.

I'm sorry you don't like what I say, but I am entitled to say that in my view, my judgment, if you will, she has become malicious in the way she speaks to her husband. Sometimes it is a lecture and sometimes he is told to repeat (and does) what she tells him to. There is no play here. We can see that they are both serious. And that makes me sad.

Kids learn what they live. When the show ends I think that if they stay together, Jon and Kate, everything will settle back slowly into place. I hope she will see that he stuck with her when many would not have under the circumstances, and she will remember why she wanted him and loved him. I hope it is not too late.

A divorce might be coming...who knows? I surely don't. But kids do not need to hear bickering and yelling all the time.

Lizabeth said...

New webisode with the puppies!! I have to say, Mady is so sweet with them as she lists all you have to do. Jon and Kate say in the interview that Cara and Mady are both very responsible with the puppies (which is awesome and a great learning experience).

Can't wait for Monday night's new episode!

Anya said...

Jane said...It makes me sad. For him, and for the tups who are learning some bad things from Mommy. Kate needs to learn some self-control.

I agree they are not mirroring a completely healthy dynamic for their kids. Kate needs to learn self control, but Jon needs to begin to unreservedly let Kate know that he won't be treated like the 9th child. Sometimes it is hard to tell whether it bothers him.

NoMoreDrama, I think marriage counseling (if they aren't already in it) is an excellent suggestion. They have been through so much in the last five years and I think it's time to make a healthier relationship for the two of them a priority.

Anonymous said...

I'd take the "berating" if it meant being married to such a beautiful, loving and, let's face it - HOT young woman. Sleep deprivation coupled with constant stress can make relationships difficult.


Firebird said...

I have heard both Jon and Kate be very harsh towards each other. I've also seen them act lovingly towards one another. In other words, a normal marriage!

Kate reminds me of a few people I know in real life: a bit of a dramatic streak, wanting all the attention most of the time, expecting to have "the say" in everything, etc. It's just personality traits. We all have them, good and bad. Only with us, millions of people aren't watching and analyzing them. ;-)

She could definitely do better, as could Jon. And maybe after watching some of their more negative behavior on the show, they'll try. We'll see.

I don't watch the show every week, but enjoy it when I can. I saw a comment on another blog (the first and ONLY time I'll go there) and someone was hoping Kate would burn in ****. I just sat there in stunned surprise. A truly horrible thing to say and wish, I can't even comprehend it.

I hope to catch the show tommorrow night, I'm looking forward to seeing the puppies.

Saint said...

Jon shows all the signs of an abused spouse. Verbal/emotional abuse counts as abuse.

I agree that verbal/emotional abuse counts as abuse. What signs do you see Jon exhibiting?

Saint said...

I also agree they could benefit from marriage counseling. I think there are a lot of people who could benefit from counseling who would never think to go because they thinks it's just for crazy people and near-divorce cases.

Patrick said...

I would say that she is verbally abusive towards him. I have read comments before that she is "opinionated, independent, and strong" and people have a problem with that. I think that is being an apologist for a very negative behavior. My own two cents is that she doesn't have a filter and says whatever she feels, regardless of the situation. From everything I've seen, he seems to just roll with it until he can't take anymore and snaps back. But again, that's just my two cents.

Guinevere said...

I would say that she is verbally abusive towards him. I have read comments before that she is "opinionated, independent, and strong" and people have a problem with that. I think that is being an apologist for a very negative behavior.

I would not say it's being an apologist; it's just having a different interpretation of what we witness. I do not feel that Kate's treatment of Jon rises to the level of abuse, nor do I feel that Jon manifests ANY of the behavior or attitudes of an abused spouse. Rather, I feel that they have an unhealthy dynamic that each of them contribute to.

I can never seem to address this without mentioning that Jon can be belittling and rude to Kate, too. Not nearly as often, but he does do it. It's not the behavior of an abused and cowed spouse, IMO.

BostonBean said...

I'd say, that before Kate gets irritated at Jon not using a coupon(they are, after all millionnaires now) she should review the past few years and remember Jon's continuous bathing, shapooing and dressing of the kids, his constant running and fetching whatever she demands and she should be very thankful for him.
As a matter of fact, she should apologize for that nasty coupon yelling display.