How honest to admit he feels lost. That's how many spouses feel at home taking care of the day-to-day business when someone else gets to go out and do outside things. You MUST plan time for yourself. Hopefully he gets some of that with his snowboarding.I think the photos really need to be updated, year-plus old for them and the ones of the kids. Makes all media pieces seem "old."I kind of think it's funny she is seen as the better media person. I believe it, because people relate to a mom. But he is the ace in the whole if you ask me because he really, really knows his kids in and out and regularly relates to them. He really should find a way to show those skills for his future. (not use the kids, just something for him).
What an interesting article. It must be pretty embarrassing to have to defend your marriage in a magazine. I feel bad for Kate. The mere notion of your husband cheating on you has to be very painful, and if he didn't tell her where he went, she might have been put in one of those "everyone knows but me" situations. Even if Kate knows Jon would never cheat on her, him being "caught" with college girls seems particularly hurtful. (I'm 20, and I wouldn't hang out with Jon Gosselin and agree with the OP who said it's inappropriate.)The whole "younger woman" thing is such a cliche, and to have it play out in real life is like a personal Lifetime movie.I feel bad for the kids too, particularly Cara and Mady since they can better understand the situation. My parents divorced when I was only 3, so I don't have any memories of "good times" vs. "bad times", and, since my mom remarried when I was still very young, I've always remembered being in a stable 2-parent household. I'm not saying that I think J&K will get divorced, but it's probably a million times harder to deal with marital issues in the spotlight and with so many kids.On another note, I'm not sure it was a good idea for Jon to say their marriage is tense. I think Kate's response was more "media-friendly." Jon's words will provoke a confirmation bias, in which people, under the assumption that the Gosselin marriage is "tense," will look for evidence to confirm that. Plus, looking into the past, they'll remember instances that suggest tension and forget instances that don't (availability heuristic). Please bear with me, I'm a Psych major! :-)
Very thoughtful posts above, CincyMom and bigsis88. I haven't read it yet, but thanks for your perspective before I do read it now.
Hmmm, not sure if Jon should have admitted there is tension in their marriage. The way I see it is that perhaps the marriage is indeed already over, and has become more of a business partnership/raising kids together. At least with this admission, fans will not be completely shocked if there is a divorce in the near future. Otherwise, if they are indeed just working through a rough patch, he probably should have kept that private, especially for the sake of the twins. I really see no benefit in admitting that in public. His statement about feeling lost came across as sad to me. Maybe it is time to turn off the cameras? Jon states in the article that their family is their priority, yet it seems that the show is having detrimental consequences. It seems as though they could make a decent living off of books/speaking engagements for some time. Also, I think that if they did a once a year update on their kids, it would be a tremendously popular program, gaining extremely high ratings for TLC, and therefore Jon and Kate could earn quite a bit of money. Not as much as a weekly show, obviously, but the stress on their relationship would be a lot less. If the stress of being celebrities is taking a toll on their marriage, personally, I think they have an important decision to make in choosing what is really most important to them and their family.
The article left me wishing for a bit more information, but I respect their right to privacy.I hope Jon has avenues and support to work through his feelings.There is no roadmap to learn to deal with everything they have been through. If I had any advice, it might be to slow down and enjoy the present more. My sense is Kate worries a lot about the future and that may push her to take on more commitments than are healthy and wise for the family as a whole.Hopefully, they will get past this rough patch. I am sure there is deep love there, but it doesn't mean things will be easy.
Does anyone know exactly what all this NY and L.A travel business is that Kate has been doing lately. I have a feeling all her traveling and business is something more than just the book signings and church talks (because she often goes to just those two states).I really think she is putting something together that we don't yet know about. I.E, a new product, show, something? What do you all think?My point in asking is this, even if the show stops, I still think she would be away as often as she is now doing whatever this "business" is.
CincyMom said... How honest to admit he feels lost. That's how many spouses feel at home taking care of the day-to-day business when someone else gets to go out and do outside things. You MUST plan time for yourself. Hopefully he gets some of that with his snowboarding.Exactly CincyMom! He was so used to being the outside worker parent, that now the tables are turned, he's missing that identity. Probably missing that work identity that allows a parent to escape. He's now a parenting 24/7 and before that was Kate. He probably misses that outside escape of adults.I also think things are going so fast for them, that he isn't taking that time out for himself to think what he can do to make an identity for himself. For instance, set up a homebased IT business. (or get back into it). He needs to gain his identity back. You're right Anya, they need to slow down and take time out as a couple, too.I believe their strong faith will get them through this rough patch.
This kind of publicity is what I would worry about Mady and Carahearing about. They and their friends may be too young to read things on the internet, but I'm sure some of them might have seen this on tv or will see People magazine.Maybe J & K should go on a couple's retreat or something, without cameras (of course, we don't know that they haven't ).They have been through (and are still in) a lot of stressful situations. I don't think they would give up on their marriage easily, but they should both be happy in it.
Just Wondering said...My point in asking is this, even if the show stops, I still think she would be away as often as she is now doing whatever this "business" is. Yeah, I am clueless what the potential venture might be. I think her absences might be more manageable if they weren't coupled with the other out-of-state appearances. I don't how much of this can be controlled with the new books coming out. From the outside, I agree it appears she is away a lot. I just don't think it's because she wants to be, but because she feels she has to take these opportunities as they come her way. Theresa said...I believe their strong faith will get them through this rough patch. I agree. I am hopeful that will help them. Also, as the child of divorced parents, I doubt Jon would want to repeat that pattern if it could be avoided. I am generally not in favor of couples staying together for the "kid's sake", but I am hopeful there is enough to sustain their marriage.
In spite of all the rumors and negativity I really think that Kate is doing everything she can to prepare for her family's financial future. I have no idea how much she is home vs. away but I hope she relaizes that the kids need her more than the money she is earning. I agree with Anya. I think she worries about their financial future bc there were hard times and she's afraid of ever being back in that place.I'm sure it was hard for them to address these issues publicly and I'm afraid that Jon's statement will be blown out of proportion.I'm sure its hard for him for her to be away so much, I dont think its bc he's the male in the relationship, I think it would be hard for either spouse. Anyway, my wish for them, though its none of my business- is that they would pull away from the lime light and remove the things in their life (whatever it may be) that is putting a strain on their relationship.
Does anyone know exactly what all this NY and L.A travel business is that Kate has been doing lately. I have a feeling all her traveling and business is something more than just the book signings and church talks (because she often goes to just those two states.---------------------------------She has appeared on some talk shows..Dr Phil, Bonnie Hunt,etc..I think they are filmed in L.A. Other than that..I'm not sure either.
I think she is away a lot because she really doesn't like to be home.
Whether or not these rumors are true and whether or not their marriage is truly in trouble or this is just a bump in the road, can anyone honestly believe that the children are not being hurt at this point? It makes me so sad to think about what Mady and Cara must endure at school every day with all this negative publicity surrounding their parents. I think it is time for Jon and Kate to close up shop and take their lives out of the public eye for the well-being of their children. They say they do everything for the good of the children. I can't see how any of this is benefiting the children. Just my opinion.
Whether or not these rumors are true and whether or not their marriage is truly in trouble or this is just a bump in the road, can anyone honestly believe that the children are not being hurt at this point? There is no doubt in my mind that the kids are hurt by this. They're 8...Even if the younger kids don't know about the rumors, they are also affected by any tension. To me, family is of the utmost importance. If my family was in trouble, I'd be trying to help my family. I don't know what Jon and Kate are doing. Maybe they're doing that...
i have to agree with the OP that this is very damaging to the children, IMO. i would think that cara and maddy are hearing things at school. i think it comes to a point where they have to ask themselves: do the benefits of doing the show outweigh the negatives? i know one of the goals has been two stay home parents but that's not really the case anymore either. in the last episode, kate seemed completely out of the loop on the everyday goings on in the house. all the money in the world will never buy back the childhood she may be missing.
momof2girls1boyand2pugs - I agree with you about the children. If it were me I would have put a stop to all this a long time ago, but that's just me.I think Kate had been quoted as saying they would be done with all this when they decide it's not safe and not fun anymore. Obviously they have decided that it's still safe and still fun. I question their decision to continue on the safety issue, if I had to have body guards I would think it's not very safe at all. I question their decision to think of all this as still fun, if I had all this bad publicity and hate blogs written about my family, I would think it's not much fun anymore. That's just my opinion, obviously the Gosselin's are not making any decisions based on my opinion, nor do I expect them to. momof2pugs - we had a little Pug years ago, he was the sweetest!
Again, to me, the best way they can help these children is to stop the filming and remove them from the public eye. There is always another bigger story around the corner and once Jon and Kate have made their lives private again people will forget about them and move on to something else.
Another fluff piece. No new info in this article either.
Jon's remark about Kate's career taking off caught my attention. Is she indeed putting a career together? I thought her work was the show. It's fine with me if she chooses to look for an addition to or replacement for what she does for TLC (and I don't really have a say in the matter!), but I just thought Jon's phrasing was interesting.
I think that Jon is having a hard time with adjusting to his new role as stay at home Dad and no longer the breadwinner. Who wouldn't have a period of transition and additional stress?I know that with any major change in life comes transition. Sometimes it takes a few years to actually settle into the "new" routine. I truly believe that this is all the Gosselins are going through...growing pains. I do not see divorce in their immediate future and pray that never happens to their family!Also, what family or relationship doesn't have tense moments or periods of time? I know that the "vibe" of our marriage can change weekly depending on what is going on. That doesn't mean we don't love one another or are less committed to one another. It just means that we are human...like the Gosselins!
momof2girls1boyand2pugs said... There is always another bigger story around the corner and once Jon and Kate have made their lives private again people will forget about them and move on to something else. Based on my many years of observing pop culture (LOL), this has been my supposition as well. There are some critics, however, who insist with a straight face that all is already lost -- the sextuplets will be hounded into their adults lives with film of their toddlerhood. Yeah, I am not buying it either, but I think it's interesting how some people can predict the future! Ancient of Days said... Jon's remark about Kate's career taking off caught my attention. Is she indeed putting a career together? Some of us have speculated on on this due to the books and outside appearances. I don't think anyone knows for sure, but I would think the child advocates would be happy she is pursuing other ways to make money that don't directly involve the children.
I still feel that ending the show should be the Gosselins' decision. They are privy to all of the facts that would factor into such a decision. Of course, they are human and capable of making the *wrong* decision, but I feel it would be presumptuous of me, who does not possess all the facts, to think I somehow know better than they do how they should conduct their lives.It's sort of darkly funny to me that many of those who tut-tut over the negativity and the effect it must have on the children have been the purveyors of that negativity themselves.
Ancient of Days,I think Jon's describing "Kate's career" is noteworthy, too. If the bulk of what they have earned is from the TLC show, then the whole family earned that. Kate may be the draw on the show, but in no way would that be just "Kate's career." When I read your comment, I remembered reading about the stars of the Food Network and their incomes. The money they earn from their shows is a very small percentage of their income. I believe it is in the single digits as a percentage. The bulk of their earnings is from selling cookbooks, signature cookware, packaged foods, product endorsements, and for those with restaurants, the increase in restaurants and traffic. The show can't be making what Kate's books, speaking, and endorsements do. Yet, without the show, I think Kate will be forgotten much sooner. Personally, I couldn't stand this level of criticism and pressure. Nomoredrama, I hope they get help for their rough patch, too. I wish them well.
Anya said... Some of us have speculated on on this due to the books and outside appearances. I don't think anyone knows for sure, but I would think the child advocates would be happy she is pursuing other ways to make money that don't directly involve the children. Anya, unfortunately, the advocates/haters do not think this is enough, because they still think she is exploiting the children, even though she is doing all these gigs on her own. Over and over I have read messages that they have written saying that she is not even working... while most of us can see how hard she is working to make a career that does not involve the children on a daily basis. I've even read that some of them think that she should go back to nursing.. and IMHO, that is about as realistic as them moving back to their old house, which some of the haters think is more appropriate for their needs. Poor Kate cannot win for losing... Obviously, these advocates/haters cannot stand to see their success and unfortunately are gloating over their problems. I find this very sad....
bibsis88, i was reading your post and thinking i really liked the insight and at the end you mentioned your a psych major and I had to laugh b/c I am one as well. anyway, i just had to mention as well that from looking at her speaking engagement info on other sites it does NOT look like kate is away that much. she is home for a bulk amount of days and leaves for a couple at a time. big deal, in the 40 hr a week work week i think it evens out. jon is there taking her place so its not like they are w/ sitters all the time. also i do not forsee divorce in their future as well b/c of a little bad press. coming from someone who knows, when you've gone through a lot of valleys it takes more than a little trouble to knock down the strength you gain from your experiences. also i agree w/ the other poster that said something like who are we to think we know what is best for their family. they are living it everyday, they are more than capable of making good decisions for their family. they can run their own life, i'm busy enough w/ my own. i wish them all the best!
I can understand Jon's feelings about Kate's career taking off because it's hard to adjust not having an outside career. When I decided to stay home and be a full time mother it took me along time getting comfortable not bring in some income. I finally realized it was my choice to do so and I got over it but I can see his point of view. I'm sure they will over come this rough path in their marriage like Bill and Hilary worked through their public rough patch and made their marrigae work.
Quiltart said...Over and over I have read messages that they have written saying that she is not even working... while most of us can see how hard she is working to make a career that does not involve the children on a daily basis. I've even read that some of them think that she should go back to nursing.. and IMHO, that is about as realistic as them moving back to their old house, which some of the haters think is more appropriate for their needs. Poor Kate cannot win for losing... Obviously, these advocates/haters cannot stand to see their success and unfortunately are gloating over their problems. I find this very sad....I agree it's sad and I also think she is working to make a career away from the children. The only somewhat positive news is that the advocates/haters are a smaller group then they really want to acknowledge. I just wish them wisdom to make the best decisions for their family because they are in uncharted territory. I don't see why anyone would disagree with this statement. The majority claim to care about the children - right?!? 3K Mom...they can run their own life, i'm busy enough w/ my own. i wish them all the best! This pretty much captures my own feelings. I also echo Guinevere's thoughts as well. I am not going to pretend that looking on from the 'outside' of their lives I can't form an opinion about what they should do next, but how credible is it?
Very interesting.I'm not sure why they had to publicize this statement.In any case--I could hypothesize what Kate is doing.I saw an article/ad in some magazine or something--can't recall what it was about, but it was a list of tips of some kind.My guess for her frequent travels in addition to appearances/book signings would be something that would feed off her popularity and what she is known for.I would guess a product line in relation to kids, organization, or parenting are in the works.That is just my 2 cents.Oddly, all the naysayers think Jon is lazy. He seems to care well for the kids at home. The way he speaks is that of someone who longs for a career of some kind.He is not the first celebrity spouse for this to happen to.He deserves his own identity and while part of him may be happy with their station in life right now--it can be stressful b/c he has lost his identity as a man who typically is the breadwinner.This to me is not demonstrating of laziness, but rather that of a man (as Dave Ramsey would say) who needs to kill it and drag it home (a hunting reference referring to a person's need to bring home the bacon aka the money).While to me they do appear in love, it is taxing when one party has a career that blossoms while the other one seems to be on the side doing nothing.These are just my thoughts. I am rather supportive of the Gosselins and their rights to choose for their family.Jon seems to desparately need something that does fulfill his duties as patriarch and a man. In this equal rights society, we tend to miss the fact that men and women are different and seek fulfillment in different ways.Perhaps with the kids in school, he could take his computer/business skills and do something with that. Even if it were websight development or something.
Just Wondering said........I really think she is putting something together that we don't yet know about. I.E, a new product, show, something? What do you all think?Just found this article on another site:http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/Today/Entertainment/2009/03/14/8745321-sun.htmlA Mom-ynous said... "While to me they do appear in love...."I think that statement is wishful thinking on your part. In my opinion, I haven't seen anything in many, many months that would make me think they're in love anymore.
A Mom-ynous said... "While to me they do appear in love...."I think that statement is wishful thinking on your part. In my opinion, I haven't seen anything in many, many months that would make me think they're in love anymore. Of course this is only my opinion, but I think the playful bantering and love taps on the couch made them appear to be much more connected... I would imagine the love taps stopped because of the outcry that Kate was abusing Jon... They now seem to go out of their way to have NO physical contact on camera. It's another one of those damned if you do and damned if you don'ts that they seem to constantly be battling... All IMO only, of course!
"Anonymous Sheltie Lover said... Just Wondering said........I really think she is putting something together that we don't yet know about."Looks like she is hoping for a talk show:I am enjoying doing TV in all capacities that I have had the privilege of doing and my dream is that there is a future talk show waiting for me!http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/Today/Entertainment/2009/03/14/8745321-sun.html
Quiltart said...Of course this is only my opinion, but I think the playful bantering and love taps on the couch made them appear to be much more connected... I would imagine the love taps stopped because of the outcry that Kate was abusing Jon... They now seem to go out of their way to have NO physical contact on camera. It's another one of those damned if you do and damned if you don'ts that they seem to constantly be battling... All IMO only, of course!I agree with you Quiltart. Every couple shows their love in different ways. Some people are mushy, others aren't. None of us knows what's going on with J&K's marriage. Sheltie Lover--Just because a person sees them on TV and they're not close together on the couch, or we don't see them expressing their love "in many many months" (as often as you might want them to)drawing the conclusion that they're not in love anymore is ridiculous. I think a lot of this so-called marriage problem of J&K's stems from people who insinuate and extrapolate from what they see on TV. Everyone has rough patches. Don't write 'em off so soon. Especially since you're not in that marriage.
Theresa, i don't think Jon & Kate's marriage problems are just me reading them wrong or not seeing their love on TV. They have admitted it! I'm not insinuating, or extrapolating, just reading statements from Jon & Kate. I'm not looking for an argument with anyone, just stating my opinion, which seems to be backed up by the People magazine article where they themselves admit to tension.
Sheltie Lover,Do you own Sheltie's? I have never owned one myself but think they are beautiful dogs. I have three dogs right now so my hands are full but am thinking ahead.
Sheltie, not looking for an argument either. :) I see your point. I however, never saw an article where they admitted their marriage was over or they're out of love. I've seen that they've admitted there's tension. I still think because they admit tension or going through a rough patch, doesn't mean the marriage is over. (btw..my insinuating & extrapolating statement wasn't directed at you.)
Nina.......thankyou for asking about my Sheltie! They are a wonderful breed, I love mine beyond words. My husband had one growing up and when our family was ready to get a puppy, that was the breed of choice. Very smart, obedient, loving....i can't say enough!
Hi Sheltie lover (they're so cute!)I get what you're saying but what was said in the people mag is that they're going through a rough patch, not that they arent still in love or working on their marriage, you know? I certainly hope it all works out for them, I think the glare of the public eye is just too much for most people, not to mention all the travel- I think it would put a strain on most marriages. I hope things get better for them.
3KMom: Hurray for the Psych majors! Lol, though I'm a Spanish major too, and that's probably the career path I'll take. :-)Back on topic, I think it's really interesting idea that Jon is adjusting to his new role at home, as OP have expounded on, since he originally put himself out there as having "no ambition." I think he's a little bit jealous of Kate (nothing wrong with it, but I don't think he'd want to admit it). Otherwise, why the shift? Maybe he didn't know how much he liked working until he didn't anymore? Given that he doesn't have any post-secondary education (that we know of), his workplace options were never going to be as open as Kate's, therefore it would always make more sense for him to stay at home. I just think it was an unexpected admission, since he probably wouldn't be the breadwinner if he and Kate were both working. When she was at home with the kids, he was the breadwinner by default.
Yes, Jon & Kate admitted to having a rough patch in their marriage per the article, and YES I think that booting the cameras out would be good for their marriage.I haven't seen much "love" shown between the 2 of them lately on the show. Hope they are getting things straightened out.
I think that statement is wishful thinking on your part. In my opinion, I haven't seen anything in many, many months that would make me think they're in love anymore.I think there's a huge range of possible emotions between "going through a rough patch" and "not in love anymore". I wouldn't presume to know what's in peoples' hearts just by watching them on TV, anyway. The Gosselins have never been hugely demonstrative, anyway (atleast since they've had the show), and they've always been snippy, so I haven't seen a huge difference between them. Mostly just that one or the other or both seems a bit tired and not fully engaged in the interview segments, at times.
Personally, I think this may be the "straw that broke the camels back" in regards to a potential 6 season. And honestly, I hope it is! I say this as someone who LOVES the show and am generally a Kate fan and as someone who will literally cry her eyes out the day they announce that there will be no new episodes! I can only hope that the aforementioned "yearly updates" do happen!I think that Kate's need to constantly be more and do more stems from the early years of the tups life when she required so much help to raise her babies. I think that hurt her so much to have to accept financial, physical and other forms of help and now she feels the need to prove the face that she CAN in fact provide for her large brood in all ways. Soon, though, I hope she realizes she is running herself ragged and she is missing out on much of her kids lives.I do not think divorce is immenent for J&K. Have things seemed a little more tense lately? Absolutely! Have we EVER seen them be the mushy lovey dovey couple even when its just the two of them? NO! And would they have gone to all that trouble to renew their vows to only seperate less than a year later? IMO...NO!This is my take on the situation...all we can do is see how it plays out. I wonder if they will address it in the show or if the last few episodes were filmed before this "sh*t his the fan." :)
Well, whether Jon said the marriage was "tense" or not, it is plainly obvious to anyone who watches the show that that is the case. IMO Jon is the one who relates better to the public. I don't think Kate really likes, you know, people. She likes babies, we know that, and she used to like Jon. But I don't see her as caring really about others at all.
I KNEW IT! Jon just didn't seem the type to go off and start bad behavior all of a sudden. I am sure there are stresses. I hope Kate becomes more successful as the kids aren't going to be there forever. The fact that she and Jon have turned this into a money maker for their family is awesome. I believe that success breeds resentment and that is why you get the torrid stories. I love their relationship. It goes to show you opposites attract and are what makes a relationship strong. Keep up the good work Jon and Kate. I look forward to every show.
I would be hesitant to say "I knew it!". He may or may not have done something inappropriate. At this point it would be strictly a he-said, she-said issue. He probably didn't do anything real extreme simply because, how stupid would that be? Knowing that people are watching every move you make. Hopefully this really is the case and he didn't do much more than just go out for a few drinks, which is fine. The only issue I have with this article is when he says, "Kate's career is taking off....". What career? The only career she ever had was being a nurse and I think we all know she's not doing that, or ever will again. I mean, is he calling this whole TV show thing, a career? Bad choice in wording. Not to mention, if it's her career, woudln't it be his too? When he says "career" does he mean that she's being asked to speak at places or make appearances? If that's the case, of course she's more sought after than him. She's more firm and has more of a dominant personality. He's a little more wishy washy and that's not going to be the preferable personality over a dominant one. I'm a little confused by his choice of words, but glad he didnt' waste too much time in speaking up and giving his side of the story.
Big Sis 88 --I think Jon saying their marriage was "tense" is an understatement!Anyone watching their show would know the reality, even just from body language, assuming they had never viewed any other episodes!
BostonBean, I don't watch the show, so I wouldn't know whether their relationship is tense or not. Regardless, my point was that I didn't think it was very "media-savvy" for Jon to admit marriage problems. I thought the celebrity code was deny, deny, deny...and, when confronted with hard evidence, deny some more! :-) I think it shows how inexperienced they are with the attention and that they didn't expect people to take concern with parts of their lives not relevant to the show.
I like Kate and Jon. I think they are fantastic parents and I wish them the best.
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