Saturday, May 9, 2009

"John and Kate Will "Weather the Storm" But at What Cost"


I found this article on parentdish.com written by Rachel Campos-Duffy interesting. Rachel Campos-Duffy is a former Real World San Francisco cast member.

26 comments:

themrs said...

i don't think i could have said it any better.

Illinois Mom said...

I think she said what many have been thinking for a long time. At what cost?

I think we are starting to see the fallout bigtime.

Nina Bell said...

I think this writer wrote this article with intelligence, kindness and compassion.

I was reading some of her other posts. I like her. Maybe it is because she is from Wisconsin. :)

Saint said...

Good article. Good perspective.

indianprincess said...

Yeah I've been following Rachel's work for awhile. I enjoy her articles. Well I hope season 5 is the last for Jon and Kate because I don't see it could go any farther after the kids start school full time in the fall. I think the only way the show would end on the production company and TLC is if people stopped watching the show and the ratings will go down. I guess my best advice for people not feeling the show anymore is to not watch the new season. Sometimes it's not all about the money.

marci said...

I'm glad to see an article from someone who would have a realistic, real-life, fact-based perspective about what the Gosselins' reality tv experience must be like.

I think Rachel Campos-Duffy got it about as close to accurate as any other viewer is likely to get, AND she was fair about it.

This is the first time I've heard someone express that the Gosselins may not have known what the "costs" were going to be of doing a reality show without throwing in the slam, "but they deserve everything (bad) they're getting" because they put themselves in the public eye in the first place and they're less-than-perfect parents/spouses/Christians. Refreshing.

Nina,

I think Rachel was born and raised in Arizona...from what I remember of her Real World season from nearly two decades ago! ;)

Grayce said...

I remember watching the Real World San Fran. I grew out of the show, I'm old now!

What struck me the most was this quote from Rachel Campos Duffy -

"from part of peeking into someone else's life is hypothesizing how we might do things differently or better, because it's always easy to imagine what you would do in someone else's shoes."

Rachel managed to sum up the entire blogging world with just 1 sentence.

Amazing article.

merryway said...

I think Rachel Campos-Duffy got it about as close to accurate as any other viewer is likely to get, AND she was fair about it.Ita. I really enjoyed the article.

Nina Bell said...

Marci,

I should have said living in Wisconsin now.

marci said...

Nina,

Yeah, I know. Pulling your leg. ;)

A Mom-ynous said...

It was a well written article, but I do believe it wrongly insinuates the alleged affair as a casualty of the show and it almost hints that if they cost of the show would be a dissolved marriage.

Perhaps I am reflecting on it differently given my experience.

But she is clearly reflecting on the experience that accompanies living life on the camera.

It is evident that she does not have the experience of having to deal with the issue of infidelity in her home.

Jordyn said...

I am not a fan of Rachel,especially since seeing those little videos of her on AOL with home tips. Puh-leeze. All so very simple.

Rachel and her husband chose not to do a reality tv show, but they were really considering the offer. okay, why even tells us about this RAchel? Want to weigh in on the whole Gosselin drama and that's the best way? Or were you just trying to gain another 15 minutes? Wanted to see how many comments from people who said "oh please do it". Go away Rachel.

Kris said...

Nina Bell said...
I think this writer wrote this article with intelligence, kindness and compassion.

I was reading some of her other posts. I like her. Maybe it is because she is from Wisconsin. :)

___________________________________

Thanks for the shout out for WI- (even though she isn't originally from here, I know...) We aren't all beer drinkers and cheeseheads!

I enjoyed her article also- very insightful.

Jacelynn said...

Great article, I don't really have anything to add to what ya'll already said....

Kikibee said...

I just hope that whatever J&K decide to do, they are on the same page. If they quit the show, will Kate still try to continue her career? Will Jon be okay with that, as she has her cookbook coming out and will be promoting it? If he feels "lost" being home with the kids, what would he rather be doing? They are both young people, and even if they don't "need" more money, they need something to do.

I feel like now they are at a place where the rags are going to be watching for one of them to mess up, even if they quit the show. I really hope they both decide they don't want to go through that again,and they do whatever it takes to prevent it.

A Mom-ynous said...

I agree, they should be on the same page.

I don't think that will come without counseling though.

Jon had issues with providing the family an income.

In all honesty--his inability with not being able to hand not be the bread-winner is a poor reason that his wife should be the one to stay at home and not follow through on what may indeed be a calling for her.

That speaks more to his insecurities and issues than it does with Kate's.

Sometimes couples have issues b/c a spouse cannot handle not being "financially" important to the family.

Or they cannot handle the focus being on the other spouse.

(A famous couple comes to mind where the wife's career simply took off and he had issues with that. I can't recall if he did a reckless behavior such as infidelity--but again, if he did, it speaks more to his character than his wife's.)

I don't feel the show is responsible for his transgressions or their issues.

We can all remember the toys r us episode and the pumpkin episode (used to be part of the show open and the consipircay theorists were up in arms when it was removed to conceal familial issues.)

They--as a couple--had a some what volatile way with dealing with stress (as might be expected when one is trying to have the perfect childhood with sextuplets--not that there is anything wrong with this but rather that the picture perfect expectations get corrected with reality real quick.)

I think the conspiracy theorists well known for the naming of all the Kate-gates...try to paint that Kate is this horrible manipulator who somehow had this master plan.

I will admit--that I would love to be well known. It may be an extrovert thing, I don't know. I feel I have something to offer--though I'm not quite there on how to manifest that.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a career that in some way markets yourself to the masses.

I feel Kate is painted in a bad light for this.


I don't think the show has been "cost" that everyone thinks that it has been.

I mean--children can be kept relatively guarded for quite a while from the real world issues that acompany fame.

The Osbournes aside--how many celebrity kids end up royally screwed up? Not as statistically high as it would seem.

In any case--it is okay if Kate is the breadwinner via being an author. Perhaps she always had talent with a pen. Perhaps she has always been a good cook. We just really don't know.

Some people are blessed with talents and some peopled are burdened with the jealousy with those talents.

I think this describes Kate and Jon and I think sooner or later with or without a show--it would have come to a head.

So for her to insinuate that this show cost them everything--I disagree wholeheartedly.

There are plenty of celebrities, partial celebrities and couples where one makes the big bucks whose marriages do not disintegrate b/c one person cannot handle the other person doing well.


But good point Jordyn. I hadn't even considered the point that she brought up that they considered taking an offer. It's almost as though she was pointing out that they were better people or something.

I still don't see why her viewpoint is so incredibly valid without having suffered through infidelity or the appearance of it.

Lastly--I think the children are better than we realize and are probably pretty darn immune to what is happening.

Jordyn said...

But good point Jordyn. I hadn't even considered the point that she brought up that they considered taking an offer. It's almost as though she was pointing out that they were better people or something.

_________________
ITA AMom-ynous. My opinion is Rachel is semi-celeb (living off her fame of the Real World now) who wants more. If people are accusing Kate of wanting attention, well I see it here as Rachel wanting the same attention (again).

That being said, too bad they aren't doing a reality show. I always thought her hubby was hot! LOL

Anya said...

Jordyn said...That being said, too bad they aren't doing a reality show. I always thought her hubby was hot! LOL

Ha! He is a cutie!

It is hard for me to think of these two as mature adults raising children, however. I remember Rachel in her early 20's pining for Puck (yuck!). Sean was a good natured party boy. I miss the good 'ol days "The Real World." I think now that these idiots (um cast members) are young enough to be my kids, it's just different.

I wonder if Sean's possible career aspirations beyond his current dig as a DA have anything to do with their declining the offer.

That said, I think it's a fair article written by someone who actually has experienced some of what the Gosselins have been through.

MoreCowbell said...

I think Rachel's season of The Real World ranks as my all time favorite. True, I stopped watching during the Las Vegas season. It was then I realized that the maturity level was declining and it as becoming all about sex an booze. Rachel's season actually dealt with issues other than who is sleeping with who.

You think the cameras are filming today? Maybe a Mom's Day/Sextuplet birthday combo eisode?

Momof3 said...

Kate would sell her soul to be a published author like Rachel. I think that is her goal. Sadly and thankfully, she will never accomplish that. Also let's not forget it was Kate who wanted Jon to quit his job so that he could be home with her and the kids. He was working and she clearly stated in the twins' bedroom/attic makeover episode that she needed him to be at home with her. That is when it started to unravel.

Quiltart said...

Also let's not forget it was Kate who wanted Jon to quit his job so that he could be home with her and the kids. He was working and she clearly stated in the twins' bedroom/attic makeover episode that she needed him to be at home with her. That is when it started to unravel.As I recall, when Jon quit his job to stay home, he was going to be working for Bob from home. We don't know what happened to that scenario, but he did not quit his job to just stay home. Since the Bob job fell through, it seems he hasn't attempted to find anything else to fill his time.

Mom said...

Nina - I agree with you about this piece. I think many of us here are very concerned about the G family and can say it without in a decent way.

Anya - I could not STAND Rachel when she was on the Real World. I remember when I saw her on a RW reunion several years ago, I couldn't believe my eyes! I'm happy things have worked out for her and her family. Puck was SO disgusting. OMG. Gross. Gross. Gross. That particular RW season was probably the best one. I remember Pedro and Sean like it was just a few years ago. Hard to believe how fast time flies.

Anya said...

A Mom-ynous, I appreciate reading your thoughts. I agree with many. My personal opinion is there have been challenges in the G's marriage for a long time - before the show began. They have radically different personalities and outlooks and while some of that is good in a marriage, I think we have seen the strain it also produces. I personally think if the show never existed, everything would not necessarily be hunky-dory. There would be different challenges and stresses.

Momof3 said...
Kate would sell her soul to be a published author like Rachel. I think that is her goal. Sadly and thankfully, she will never accomplish that.


Well I think Kate IS a published author, isn't she? She is co-author of "Multiple Blessings" and sole author of the new book. Perhaps you don't consider these "real" books, but I don't think it's accurate to say that she hasn't published a book.

As for your assertion that Kate pressured Jon to stay home full-time, I don't know that any of us know for sure the sequence of events. It does appear Jon worked for Bob briefly. When the sextuplets were under 4, I can well understand Kate's desire to have a second set of hands at home. The sextuplets are five now and Kate is branching out into other things. If Jon hasn't already, I think he owes it to himself and his family to explore career and/or schooling options. Certainly there are better ways to spend one's days than hanging out with 23 year-old's!

Illinois Mom said...

My personal opinion is there have been challenges in the G's marriage for a long time - before the show began. They have radically different personalities and outlooks and while some of that is good in a marriage, I think we have seen the strain it also produces. I personally think if the show never existed, everything would not necessarily be hunky-dory. There would be different challenges and stresses.

Anya-I do agree with this as well.

Whoever really "wrote" MB, I wouldn't consider it outstanding writing at all, my opinion. The story sold itself, same with 8 Faces. I don't see kate setting out writing a high quality literary piece.

If those were my kids, and my husband was out gallavanting I do know that I would choose to spend more time with my children.

I think it is important to remember, Jon and Kate made decsions that have had negative consequences. What they do from this point forward is their choice as well.

The family will rise or fall wether I watch or not.

Three Amazing Kids said...

She said it better than anyone else has in a nonjudgmental way. She was very compassionate. I like that.

Honestly, I do not care if Jon and Kate stay together or seperate. Similar situations happen all across the world with parents splitting. I just hope that the kids are ok and that the parents put them first. I hope the kids can heal from all of this and thrive no matter what happens.

Jen said...

While she did say it well I still think jon and kate should have known (common sense) that it was going to be hard on the kids. Poor Cara. I mean come on we all have seen were are they now and the interviews with child stars and they all say they didnt have much of a childhood because of the camera's. Why do you think stars are so protective of there kids and try there darndest to keep them out of the spotlight and camera lense. I think they should have stopped and only did a once a year check in episode....