I noticed on this interview that she kept stressing that they love their kids. I found that a little odd, or that could possibly just be from the backlash of media talking about how much she is gone from home. I did see that she addressed the issue of hwo this new life takes her away from home.
I noticed in these interviews that she does not "deny" that Jon had an affair. Only that they are working through it. Maybe she feels his statement is enough.
I feel so sorry for the kids. At this point they could not even take the children to a grocery store without them seeing the magazines on the newsstand. And now that the Paparazzi are follwing them in Pennsylvania. hey may not have asked to be a celebrity, but at some point in this adventure they had to realize that was where this was heading. She has often said in the show how many people are viewing. I think they probably enjoyed the good side of being the celebrity.
I just pray they can put it all back together. I am afraid though that hey have hit the point they cannot return from. Even if they stopped the show they will be followed as "celebrities" for years to come.
I think Kate did a good job on both Larry King and the Today show. But, now it's time for both Jon and Kate to be quiet on this subject. If there is no other allegations then this should all go away (at least the tabloid aspect) in a few weeks if not sooner.
I thought it weird she said she wrote the books so there would be no doubt that her kids were loved. I don't know why they would doubt it. I think that is part of her personality though. She wanted the vow renewal more for the kids too so they would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.
I also disagree with the "we are not celebrities" from her. She might not like the word (like the nanny word) but that is how the majority seems to view her. She seems so shocked but what else can you expect. On one hand she's proud the show is so popular (other interviews, not this one) but she doesn't see why people are excited to see her in person?
I do think she's well spoken and don't doubt that she loves her kiddies. I wish the best for her family.
She doesn't deny that she had an affair, but she did not confirm it either.
Let us not forget that (at least according to episodes pertaining to shopping) Kate hasn't taken her kids into a grocery store in a long time.
And if she continues to shop at Whole Foods type places--at least the last time I was in one, they do not carry tabloid magazines usually. The one I went to carried only magazines having to do with a healthy way of life.
To say he should have realized is unfair. Heck the anti-gosselin sites have referred to him as aloof for quite a while. To expect him to have sudden savvy is unfair.
As for the affair--until you have walked in the shoes of the victim of an affair or rumor of affair, you cannot begin to understand the grieving process involved when someone appears to have broken the marriage covenant.
Lastly--why would it be odd that they stress that they love the kids? There is so much hatred on the internet that they are selfish and greedy and profiting off of their children.
And I cannot speak to specifics--but when something happens to your family when you have children, the first devotion is as a mother. Kate is turning on her mamma bear (gently though!)
I watched a small bit of the interview. I felt weird watching it -- I hate watching people on live shows when they clearly feel uncomfortable. Anyhow, my first reaction is that she looked really pretty. Beyond that, I think she did ok. Her answers seemed canned, which I understand. I noticed that on the screen, it said something like, "Kate Gosselin: Discussing Bristol Palin's teen abstinence message." I personally would've loved to hear Kate talk about those things. It'd be nice to see her beyond her usual self of discussing the kids and the "scandal." I honestly don't think I've ever heard her talk about news events or politics, and I have to say, I would've been interested. But when I was watching, she didn't talk about anything else. Did I miss it?
She said the kids are aware 'we' love them-- not that she, Kate, loves them, but that her and Jon as a couple love them. I also agree with Amomynous that her focus on the fact that they love their kids does have something to do with all the tabloid rumors and nasty blogs saying she does not care about them.
Kate is really holding it together well. Naturally there is a huge breach of trust due to Jon's decisions, so she is still trying to figure out for herself what is going on.
She said she knows her career is taking her away from home a lot more lately but one parent is almost always home, which is their goal. I can appreciate that-- like I said in another thread, I work from home which is a mixed blessing in that work is always there, while I get the chance to be more flexible in my hours.
Anyway, she did better at The Today Show (less um's at least!) but I still think Kate is handling herself well through all of this. I would not be half as gracious to my husband if I were in her shoes. He messed up big time-- whether he actually cheated or not-- and she is trying to fix things so they can move on.
This weekend should finally bring a reprieve to this story. Kate is back home and will celebrate the tups b'day. Hopefully they will make the best effort so the tups can have a happy birthday. TLC shouldn't film this but they are greedy so they probably will. People need a break from this story.
As a child who saw her parents go through a nasty divorce due to my father's cheating after 23 years of marriage--Kate is holding it together well. IMO Jon is guilty of using poor judgement and getting involved with the wrong people, not of cheating. But still, we have seen Kate berate him for breathing loudly, I'm sure he has gotten an earful and she's got his balls in a vise grip, but I am glad she isnt letting us know that.
I have mixed feeling about the "celebrity" word, but I think thats due to the fact that everyone has different definitions and ideas of what constitutes "celebrity" just like many other words, including "nanny" :D. I don't see her as a celebrity, I see her more as an anomaly--a Mom of twins and sextuplets--to my knowledge there is only one other woman who can claim that--Betty Hayes. Because of their unique living situation that has been chronicled by the show, she has the notoriety of a celebrity, but I agree with Kate's statement "she is just a Mom," because becoming a Mom to 8 kids is what got her to this point.
LoriNJ1970 i agree that Jon and Kate should remain mum on this topic, but I also think they need to show some nonverbal signs of solidarity. Maybe some appearances together, and maybe they can get the paparrazzi to actually shoot them doing something good together, but then again thats not very juicy is it?
I think everyone thinks that the premiere on May 25 will have a lot of answers, but chances are they episode they air will have been shot way before this. Also, Kate has made it clear they will not be discussing any specific tabloid, just a general statement about the stress of their lives--well what's new Kate! Nevertheless I will be watching excitedly!
I can't wrap my brain around this interview. It struck me as odd that she kept referring to the "situation". What is the situation? Is it the fact that US weekly lied, or the fact that Jon was caught doing something inappropriate? She certainly didn't seem to defend him. I think it would have been smarter for her to stay home and issue a written statement. No one could have faulted her for that. When other celebrities are in the tabloids, the seem to deny, threaten to sue, or let it roll off, but they don't go on TV unless they have something to say about it. I don't see any of these from Kate.
It is entirely possible that Jon "cheated on" his wife without actually cheating on her.
We have no idea what their agreements and arrangements are. You can only violate your marriage vows if you don't have alternate arrangements. Perhaps their marriage has ended, perhaps they are living in their own quarters, perhaps they are putting on a show of solidarity for their children, for the viewing public, for their Christian and book-buying audience.
J&K would not be the first couple in history to agree to stay together on paper (or on TV, in their case) but lead separate lives. It happens all the time, for a multitude of reasons.
I think if that were the case it could be said that Jon played the game poorly. I'm sure if they were making motions that they are still married and devoted to each other (for whatever reason, and trust me I don't agree with many of them) Jon's decision to wet his whistle with a younger woman was one seriously dumb arse move.
I'm not saying no one should have compassion for Kate (or Jon) but remember that it's THEIR choices that got them here and it's THEIR poorly played moves that have them in the spotlight basking in a most unfavourable light.
Many people seem to be under the impression that theirs is a marriage on the rocks...I'm simply suggesting it ended a long time ago and J&K may have restructured their marriage without informing the public.
I think instead of watching Season 5 I'm going to work on finishing my kids scrapbooks, that seems like time better spent. I am looking forward to an episode in a few years when the Gosselin kids are older...kinda like an update. I do feel that, as cute as they are, dragging this series on and on is pointless. I am actually quite upset with myself for caring so much about it up til now.
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES.
I also think if they are no longer together, then the show should end because it is no longer a documentary or a reality show, it is a farce. I don't watch the show anymore, but if people want to watch someone pretending for the cameras, there is a lot more compelling comedy and drama out there. If they are pretending to still be together for the sake of the show, that is proof that the money matters more than the well-being of the kids. And it proves that Jon & Kate think their fans are idiots who deserve to be pandered to.
Lastly, I really think Kate thinks she is looking out for the best interests of the kids by providing for them financially. I feel sad for her, because it seems that this is her only criteria for being a good parent.
I am sad for the family if the marriage is over, because although I never really like Kate, I do think that she and Jon loved each other at one time. Hopefully there is something to salvage.
Even if they stopped the show they will be followed as "celebrities" for years to come.Well, I don't think they'll be followed by papparazzi unless they do something noteworthy. They may still have people stopping by their house to gawk, but I actually think once the show is over they'll be able to return to semi-normalcy, assuming that's what they want.
I thought it weird she said she wrote the books so there would be no doubt that her kids were loved. I don't know why they would doubt it. I think that is part of her personality though. She wanted the vow renewal more for the kids too so they would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.I could be wrong, but I get the feeling this might come from Kate's issues with her own parents. I don't know why, but I just have that sense. I know that she has issues with not having had very many experiences growing up. Maybe she didn't feel loved by her parents and that's why she wants to emphasize (to the point of vocalizing it a lot) how much she loves her kids.
I also disagree with the "we are not celebrities" from her. She might not like the word (like the nanny word) but that is how the majority seems to view her. She seems so shocked but what else can you expect. On one hand she's proud the show is so popular (other interviews, not this one) but she doesn't see why people are excited to see her in person?But if she was any other way, she'd be accused of being full of herself (even more than she is accused of it already). I can see not seeing yourself as a celebrity. Something like that is about one's self-conception, which often doesn't match the way others view you.
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES. Sigh. This just illustrates to me how the Gosselins can't catch a break no matter what they do. In the same thread, you have people thinking it's strange that Kate said that she loves her kids and people complaining that she didn't say she loves her husband.
FWIW, J&K have talked before about how they aren't lovey-dovey demonstrative and affectionate, so maybe it's just not in her nature to declare her love for him. Or maybe she's not feeling very loving right now, which would be very understandable, under the circumstances (no matter what the truth is regarding the "affair").
Lastly, I really think Kate thinks she is looking out for the best interests of the kids by providing for them financially. I feel sad for her, because it seems that this is her only criteria for being a good parent.I don't think it's her only criteria, at all. If you watch the show, there are many examples of what Kate values in parenting: her emphasis on "making memories", her approach to discipline, teaching the kids to clean up after themselves and to give back (the St. Jude's episode). Those are just a few examples off of the top of my head.
I do think Kate is very fearful about financial security, and that fear drives some of her decisions.
Was Kate asked point-blank by Larry about allegations of her own affair? If not, it would have been awfully strange--or rather, ill-advised-- for her to mention it, whether to confirm or deny.
Guinevere,I disagree with you quite a bit on the comments you chose to pull out and comment on (mine included).
I agree that after awhile the gawkers would calm down.
My comment about thinking it odd she had to "prove" her love was based not about how to show fans that. It was based on her comment on LKL last night that she wrote the books so the kids would know they are loved. I take it to mean that something is making the kids not feel loved and she thinks the book is the answer. There might be many other ways to look at it. Usually you require people to state what face their opinion is based on and you are commenting freely about why you think she feels the need to "prove" to her kids that she loves them. Many of us form opinions based on how we are feeling and sometimes I feel we are told that we need to base this on some factual piece. Nice to see you are coming around!
Regarding the celebrity comment--she might not see herself that way and be modest, but I'm pointing out she's getting this attention because the general public does see her as a celebrity.
I think I am venturing in the area of being argumentative here (maybe it's my time of the month), but I feel our comments are picked apart (which I don't mind), and that would be fine if maybe you also offered your comments earlier sometimes instead of sort of being judge and jury of our comments. Still friends? I do think I'm being a bit argumentative but also think someone who knows you usually forgives this from time to time.....
Rachel, I really thought your comment hit the nail on the head.
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES. Sigh. This just illustrates to me how the Gosselins can't catch a break no matter what they do. In the same thread, you have people thinking it's strange that Kate said that she loves her kids and people complaining that she didn't say she loves her husband.
Why SIGH? That seems so dramatic. The fact is she didn't say she loved Jon when in the past she has said it over and over.
I think her speaking about the love of her kids is part of her insecurites, maybe she knows deep down that they have raised them in a not so healthy environment, we don't know. But we do know that she left out her love of her husband this time and that is a message in and of it self.
Sadly, it looks as though the paparazzi has found the Gosselin kids with a high profile zoom lens.
This makes me sick.
There is a link from Philly.com I saw on another site where the US reporter states without hesitance that he knows for a fact Jon was having an affair with Deanna Hummel.
Of course the paps will be on Jon and Kate relentlessly now. And the fact the kids are now being photographed without their knowledge bothers me a great deal. I did see the dogs though.
Why SIGH? That seems so dramatic. The fact is she didn't say she loved Jon when in the past she has said it over and over. Because if you've followed all the Gosselin drama online for a while like I have, you sometimes grow weary of reading the evidence that some people are always going to find something to criticize. She gets criticized for saying she loves her kids. She gets criticized for not saying she loves Jon.
Doesn't it seem possible that she's a wee bit pissed at Jon at the moment and not inclined towards declarations of love?
In any case, I don't recall her saying that she loved him in the past "over and over". My impression has been that she is not hugely demonstrative with him, and I think at least on one occasion she stated that. The younger Kate we saw in their earlier videos seemed a lot more bubbly and affectionate - but I can see that easily being a function of age rather than a change in her feelings towards Jon.
Guin, I agree with you. Put yourself in Kate's shoes here, from her perspective-- you are working your tail off, going hither, thither, and yon (literally) for a book tour that has been planned for months. In the midst of this there are tabloids with reports that your husband is cheating on you. With a 23 year old. There are pics of them together, etc. You know your husband has done some stupid things in the past (bar pics where he looks wasted, anyone?) and are disappointed that something apparently happened while you were away.
Kate is probably trying to figure out what the truth is now for herself. She does not seem to be pleased at all with Jon's behavior, because regardless of whether or not he cheated, he still made a huge mess that she has to clean up now. I know, I know-- "Why doesn't Kate just let Jon clean up his own mess?" Well as we can see here, that does not work. His statements made him look worse, thus Kate is now trying to figure things out for herself while being asked by the public what is going on.
Dealing with it privately is not code for "I knew this was happening and have a guy on the side anyway so I don't care." It means what she said-- they are dealing with the situation, whatever that may be (and Kate may not know for sure at this point either), and doing so behind closed doors.
I have to wonder whether some people want Jon and Kate to get into a huge brawl on TV or something. I agree with the posters that have said 'no matter what she does, she's screwed.' Handling things gracefully and keeping the kids away isn't good enough for some... she needs to be gushing over and over about her husband who started all this now? I know someone mentioned that there are paparazzi getting pics of the kids now, too, which is so disgusting. That had not happened in the past-- we never saw pics of their regular lives, just when they were out on appearances.
This whole thing has snowballed, and while I still feel ending the show soon is best, again we have no idea how much of the season is already filmed nor are we privy to contract agreements. Its just really sad that Jon was out and about in this way, and has caused so much drama. I'm sure Kate does not appreciate it- I wouldn't either.
My comment about thinking it odd she had to "prove" her love was based not about how to show fans that. It was based on her comment on LKL last night that she wrote the books so the kids would know they are loved. I take it to mean that something is making the kids not feel loved and she thinks the book is the answer. There might be many other ways to look at it. Usually you require people to state what face their opinion is based on and you are commenting freely about why you think she feels the need to "prove" to her kids that she loves them. Many of us form opinions based on how we are feeling and sometimes I feel we are told that we need to base this on some factual piece. Nice to see you are coming around!I don't think I've ever said that people's opinions have to be based on facts. Sometimes opinions are just based on feelings, of course, and that's the case with what I said - I get the sense that Kate's issue with stating her love for her kids has more to do with her relationship with her parents than any belief that her kids would think they aren't loved. I have reasons for forming this opinion (one is that it seems to me that she has been this way since the beginning, long before she'd have had any reason to have qualms about the effects of the show on the kids' lives), but in the end it's not really based on anything very concrete. It's just my feeling/opinion.
Since I'm not yet Lord Mistress of the Universe, I don't claim the right to require anyone to do anything. Sometimes I disagree with people when I think they are stating opinion as fact (e.g. "the marriage has been over for a long time") - partly just because in my own communication, I'm more likely to soften my opinion with an "IMO" when I'm saying something that I know is controversial or really not based on much more than my own feelings. Sometimes I'll ask someone why they think x, y or z. I don't think that's the same as me demanding proof, though.
Regarding the celebrity comment--she might not see herself that way and be modest, but I'm pointing out she's getting this attention because the general public does see her as a celebrity.But she has acknowledged that. She did in the King interview. She realizes that this is her life and people are curious about her. All she said is that she doesn't think of herself in those terms.
I think I am venturing in the area of being argumentative here (maybe it's my time of the month), but I feel our comments are picked apart (which I don't mind), and that would be fine if maybe you also offered your comments earlier sometimes instead of sort of being judge and jury of our comments.I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm no one's judge and jury. Everyone is equal here, and my disagreeing with someone doesn't mean I'm judging them or that I ever intend to pick apart their comments.
I probably do respond more than I initiate comments. Partly that's just because I'm always behind on reading the blog, and partly it's because I find I have more to say in response to what others say than in response to the initial blog entry.
Still friends? I do think I'm being a bit argumentative but also think someone who knows you usually forgives this from time to time.....Of course still friends! And yes, I would hate to think I could dish it out but not take it. You're not being argumentative in my mind. You should see what people say about me elsewhere on the internet!
Lizabeth said..."Handling things gracefully and keeping the kids away isn't good enough for some... she needs to be gushing over and over about her husband who started all this now?" Exactly! I have seen her criticized for saying that Jon has handled things "poorly." Maybe this comment was less than completely politic, but it was pretty tame when one considers what she has had to put up with this week.
Overall, I think she handled herself with grace and dignity in difficult circumsntances on both The Today Show and LKL.
Why is it so hard to understand that Kate might not be feeling all that loving towards Jon right now? If you were in her shoes would you? That doesn't mean she's stopped loving him they're just going through a rough time with the added pressure of the millions of eyes on them.
LoriNJ1970: No kidding! While you see beleaguered wives of, say, philandering politicians standing by their man's side at a press conference, they sure are keeping their mouths shut and not uttering any kind of love for the a**hole.
I think Kate stressing to her kids about both parents' love for them is actually what child experts say you're supposed to do. Children (as someone mentioned earlier) often tend to blame themselves for their parents' quarrels.
Overall, I think she handled herself with grace and dignity in difficult circumsntances on both The Today Show and LKL.
May 8, 2009 3:59 PMI think so, too Anya.
LoriNJ1970 said... Why is it so hard to understand that Kate might not be feeling all that loving towards Jon right now? If you were in her shoes would you? That doesn't mean she's stopped loving him they're just going through a rough time with the added pressure of the millions of eyes on them.
Kate won't be home Saturday, the day before the tups bday, so she prolly isn't helping plan the party. She'll be at a book signing at SAms Club in BEntonville Arkansas. I called the store tonight and they said its still on.
I thought it weird she said she wrote the books so there would be no doubt that her kids were loved. I don't know why they would doubt it. I think that is part of her personality though. She wanted the vow renewal more for the kids too so they would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.I thought it showed Kate's insecurity about her relationship when she kept saying the kids would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.
Re the books: I interpreted that as Kate feeling overwhelmed since she never planned on having so many children and wanted to make sure they all individually knew.
Lizabeth, I agree that Kate is prob trying to figure out the truth for herself at this point. After the Today show interview, I thought she believed Jon didn't cheat. I've changed my mind to she hasn't had time to decide.
I would be mortified to have to continue a tour and have all those eyes upon me. You don't stop living just because of drama and she has all these obligations in addition to the worry of her children and marriage. Even if she has made a big decision, I don't see her making any public announcement until details of the personal situations and contracts could be worked out. Why would she show her hand when there could be legal complications w/her marriage and her work in the future?
NObody said anything about gushing! And what is this about Kate "cleaning up the mess"-I am sorry but it takes 2 to make the mess they are in. NO-it does not mean she deserved infidelity at all. No Way! In my opinion their marriage has been rocky for awhile for reasons that come from BOTH jon and Kate.
My point was Kate never said she loved jon as was pointed out by another poster. She also said she was hesitant to believe the tabloids. So which is it? They are in love, like always and will be together forever and ever for the kids, or Jon did cheat and she was lying when she made her statement?
And no one knows what "dealing with it private" is code for. For all we know they MAY have an arrangement of some sort, we just don;t know.
And yea, it is disgusting that the paps are on to the kids now as a result of the decsions the parents made.
Illinois mom said.. My point was Kate never said she loved jon as was pointed out by another poster. She also said she was hesitant to believe the tabloids. So which is it? They are in love, like always and will be together forever and ever for the kids, or Jon did cheat and she was lying when she made her statement? ----------------------------------
Why does it have to be one or the other? Most marriages go through good and bad times. There has been more than one time in my own marriage when I didn't like my husband very much. We worked through it and our marriage became stronger. And let me tell you my husband never did anything as boneheaded as it appears Jon did. I'm not even sure Jon physically cheated on Kate but he sure left the door open for speculation.
I guess the point I'm trying to make, and probably very badly, is that Kate can still love Jon and be terribly disappointed by his choices. I think it's going to take time to heal the wounds. I also do agree that it takes two people to make a marriage work BUT cheating is never acceptable or excusable.
I just watched. I am surprised to hear (at the end) that she has been allowed to refute footage of the children that she thinks is inappropriate. I didn't know that. She then says she's never refuted any footage of herself. I am really surprised. I wonder how hard she has to fight for that? I think some other scenes should have been refuted, but maybe she had to exercise that power in order to get worse stuff cut? (I'm just wondering...don't know.)
Lori, Nicely said, and I think you probably are right. I do think Kate still loves Jon, and this is the first time I really thought about that.
Saint, It is interesting I think that some of the stuff discussed on the blogs that are more controversial, she allowed? Hmmm? I can think of a few things with her kids I wish she would have had editted.
I'm very sympathetic toward Kate, but I am still surprised she is plugging away at these interviews. I think she's right to respond, "We're handling it privately." I also think she should handle it privately now, not do any more interviews. I realize there is a book promotion contract. I'm just surprised she can't get out of it, at least temporarily. I'm not in her shoes, though, just saying what I think I'd do.
I'm glad her kids are in a small private school. That could make it easier on the children, especially if the school families rally around their own. I doubt the girls are completely insulated from the news, though I guess they could be. I hope they are.
LK sure did ask Kate questions without any tact, unlike Meredith V. who seemed more compassionate.
I was a bit taken aback when Lk flat out asked Kate if any of the kids know. His interview style bothers me, it's so emotionless. Kate clearly looked uncomforable as she started anwering vaguely, then ended a definitive "NO, Mady and Cara are not aware" (I'm paraphrasing)
After watching Kate answer this question again, it's the only answer that felt...strange and uneasy to me.
I'm sceptical about how the twins could possibly not know anything. I don't mean to imply that Kate was lying. Maybe she felt that was another can of worms and decided to end her answer with NO, they haven't. Maybe she felt it was no one's business (which it isn't) and she was protecting her children by saying no plus it ended the topic. If she would have said yes, LK probably would have probed and probed and probed. As Kate would say on the couch - Moving on!
I would think that it would ease Kate's mind that they are not aware, but I think that eventually the twins will hear or see something, which is so sad. Kate may be a bit stoic, but IMO, her heart will hurt more if/when they ask Mom or Dad about the story.
Sorry anti-gosselins, Kate doesn't owe us a bulletized fact sheet run-down to her "public". How can they complain that she shouldn't be out interviewing and in the same breath say it's not fair to answer it's being dealt with privately because "she owes us"?
Here's your answer anti's - Kate eblast's a fact sheet to her "public" from home...in private. LOL! Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
No wonder she's thick skinned. I'd be institutionalized by now.
I digress. My original point is that I hope Mady and Cara are ok.
"I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES. "
Having been heart by emotional cheating in my home via addiction--I will say that in the moment of processing the news--there is are stages of grief when hearing about it.
Plus--Jon is denying it--that is difficult to deal iwth even if it isn't true.
Her brain is telling her one message (the logic part) while her heart is breaking over the possibility that it could be true.
It is a blow to the psyche.
It is unfair for the population to expect her to profess her love blindly when there is evidence suggesting it is plausible that Jon is lying.
Working through the situation is just that--working through it. Finding the truth, finding where they go from here, finding a method of healthy coping in which they resume their couplehood.
I cannot speak more to this--but honestly...
It is ballsy to expect her to do a Tammy Wynett "Stand by her man" moment.
It is actually more healthy for the marriage to process the grief of what is going on and finding the truth than to have her suppress all common sense and ignore it.
The ol' saying "Fool Me Once,shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" applies.
For her to get all sappy in interviews just after all this leaked as a means to "prove" that things are okay--would serve no purpose than to cast doubts in their fanbase that is already there.
This is not scripted television let us remember.
The appearance of cheating can be very painful.
Kate is permitted to process this as she is able.
The first priority jumps to the kids.
I will tell you--my mamma bear really kicked in when my husband and I had to deal with a private issue in our home. I love him--but my kids are more important for the particular situation.
What Kate is doing--is completely NORMAL!!! (with the exception that I don't have an invite to be on Larry King to share my version of events)
I don't think Larry King should have asked if Mady and Cara know what is going on. If Kate had said yes, would he have then asked what they thought about things. They are 8 year olds. They should not know details of their parents marital problems. I am certain the girls and even the little ones know something is amiss but they should not be privy to the intimate details of their parents marital problems. Their schoolmates must see the magazine covers - they are everywhere. I probably would have gotten up out of my seat and walked out when he asked that. IIRC other people have left his show over less.
"Lastly, I really think Kate thinks she is looking out for the best interests of the kids by providing for them financially. I feel sad for her, because it seems that this is her only criteria for being a good parent."
When a spouse is suspected of cheating, the mother bear instinct kicks in and considering how they will be supported.
Jon thus far--at least in blog-land--has been proven to be "lazy" and unable to keep gainful employment to sustain a family.
Her nursing career would make it difficult to support all of the children as well.
Their story is their product and yes, she is dealing with it.
There are many people that resort to writing books and sharing their story and being an example to other people.
We don't have to get into diatribes on whether Kate is suitable to fit this role or not.
I am a homeschooling mom and there are many who take their talents to the pen and profit off of it.
One day--who knows, that may be my story.
It is my right to share it. And if people wish to pay to read about it--it is entirely up to them.
"Why SIGH? That seems so dramatic. The fact is she didn't say she loved Jon when in the past she has said it over and over. "
If your spouse were in a situation that made it quite plausible that infidelity took place, are you suggesting your first response to him or to familiy and friends would be that you love him.
Often if that is the response despite all evidence, it is suggestive that one is unwilling to believe it and is trying to suppress any and all thoughts regarding it.
In my own personal circumstance, since I cannot out of respect for my husband confess to any of my friends (it is not an affair but something else)--I found an on-line community for women in my position.
Let me just say--love is the FARTHEST thing from the mind of a wife who is confused, saddened, angry, displeased, embarrassed, humiliated and any other synonym to describe the pain of the heart when faced with physical or psychological infidelity.
What it speaks VOLUMES to me is that she is heavily burdened with how to process the news and how she will get the undeniable truth from her husband of whether or not naitivite or infidelity took place.
This takes time.
And no--running home to deal with it--doesn't make it happen any quicker.
In fact--for me, I was quite relieved when my husband had a business trip planned so that I could process what had happened without him around to make me an emotional wreck.
I just am--astonished that folks feel picked on for their opinions when they have not walked in the shoes of a similar situation.
I don't wish it on anyone--but just like you don't tell someone who lost child or spouse to death that you know how they feel when it hasn't happened to you, it is highly unjust to project what a someone like Kate should do if it hasn't happened to you.
And if you have been cheated on and can honestly say that in the process of your grief that you could emphasize that you loved the cheater and mean it....I guess you are a much more stronger woman than myself or Kate Gosselin or anyone that I have known personally who have been cheated on.
Grayce said...Sorry anti-gosselins, Kate doesn't owe us a bulletized fact sheet run-down to her "public". How can they complain that she shouldn't be out interviewing and in the same breath say it's not fair to answer it's being dealt with privately because "she owes us"?
Here's your answer anti's - Kate eblast's a fact sheet to her "public" from home...in private. LOL! Damned if you do, damned if you don't. ...........
Nicely said!
As a side note, I have enjoyed seeing some new posters (or posters who are positing more) - such as Illinois Mom, LoriNJ, Sandy, Grayce, and a few others. Hope you stick around! We do appreciate the variety of opinions. :-)
"They are in love, like always and will be together forever and ever for the kids, or Jon did cheat and she was lying when she made her statement?"
You don't get it, do you?
You want her to pick sides at this very moment to appease your expectations?
Feel blessed that you have not had to encounter this.
After my cooling off period, I could once again acknowledge my love for my husband--but my brain had to process much information prior to me being able to do this.
It ain't easy--I wish people would stop treating her as though her husband decided to suddenly become vegetarian or something.
And no one knows what "dealing with it private" is code for.I think it's code for "it's none of your business". The word "private" seems to me to be a rather large clue.
Whether Jon was unfaithful to Kate or not--Or maybe he was just guilty of incredibly poor judgement--we really don't need to know.
I agree that the only people in this situation that Jon owes anything to is Kate and the kids.
I have on many occasions been annoyed by Kate's personality, but she has handled herself very graciously, while Jon has be in seclusion.
The whole situation is so sad. I don't care personally if he cheated or not--he didn't make any vows to me.
When I read other things on the internet, everyone is quick to blame Kate. I have to think there is much more to the dynamics of their relationship. The way she laughs at things he says, etc. you can tell she loves him. And now she just looks so sad.
Maybe the ones that have duped the public are TLC for editing the show to be "Kate the Shrew" and not giving a more balanced picture. I know it has been a gold mine to keep the drama going, but at what cost.
PS-- While I think that Jon should have expected that his behavior would become public knowledge, I do think that how Jon and Kate handle it should be left to them in private.
And on a side note--I personally(and I'm not proud of it) enjoyed watching John Edwards look like a deer caught in the headlights on Oprah :).
I commend you for giving us all a more personal perspective to Kate's present state of mind.
You expressed yourself very well, and I want to thank you for helping to illusutrate the fact that the Gosselins are human and are dealing with the present situation as best they can....like anyone else would, but with the added presseure (for Kate) of facing the public at the same time.
The stress of trying to sort out what's happened with Jon, keeping the kids shielded from the scandal and having to keep working must be overwhelming for Kate. Some people might view the strength to deal with it all as being cold-hearted or that she doesn't really care. I think she has a backbone like noone I've ever seen before.
I'm glad, whatever their reasons, that the Gosselins are keeping this situation as private as possible. There really is nothing more about their parents' relationship that the Gosselin children should ever have to read about or watch on archived video. What they know about their parents' marriage now or in the future should come from Kate and Jon in private. I think their parents, the media and the viewing public should allow the Gosselin kids that much.
I just got caught up reading he comments and Marci you summed up everything I was thinking so eloquently.
A Mom-ynous, I have enjoyed reading your wisdom. No doubt, gained by your painful experience, thanks for sharing your perspective. You are a smart and brave woman. Thanks for sharing what true feeligs people go through on any addiction.
I have witnessed a friend's marriage take the upheaval and survive, and heal from an addiction and reading your posts I can relate in what you are saying and seeing how a woman "should or should not" feel when something bad happens.
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, maybe it is meant for the viewers to hang in suspence!
For the ladies who have experienced something like this first hand, I am sorry for you.
But we are talking about a TV personality and while you take it more on a personal level, and I can see why, I am not.
I am refering to things I have seen and heard and I am entitled to forge my own opinion.
And, you are right, I don't "get" it. I am not Kate, have never been cheated on, don't have a TV show, on and on. But she is on every celeb blog and newscast right now because by her own choosing, she and her family are in the public domain. Wether it is right or wrong to be talking about her, we all are. And we all are sharing various opinions. Please don;t jump on me for sharing mine.
Illinois Mom said... So if you enjoyed John Edwards taking the heat, would you say the same about Jon Gosselin?
May 9, 2009 8:21 AM Illinois Mom, it has been documented and proven John Edwards had an affair. Can't say the same for Jon. So, my answer to your quetion would be "no".
And, btw, I think John Edwards cheating on his wife, during a time where he should've been there for her, was dispicable. His place was to be with his wife, especially since she asked him to not move on with this campaign.
I would have to say that John Edwards finally admitted to it.
Jon Gosselin has not. This is my opinion and only mine but I think that could be coming.
I have no inside proof, just my gut feeling. I believe if Jon did have an affair it is best to just admit to it and move on. Then maybe the rag magazines would go away and this family could make some decisions and start whatever process that is needed for them to get back to being a family.
Yes, as you you're aware Illinois Mom, I do believe in facts. That's why I am always refuting stuff that I read that is speculation and assumption thrown out as fact.
I read that Zondervan removed Kate's book signing schedule. Does anyone know if this is true?
The FACT(sic) was stated that it was removed so people would'nt know where she would be appearing and my favorite - damage control.
Maybe the schedule is down because Kate is re-arranging it to be more home for now.
Maybe her PR people suggested it be removed so it didn't feed into the frenzy of the kids are #1 priority, and Kate is never home.
Maybe it is damage control.
The FACT is that I don't know why it's down, (if it even is, I didn't check).
I have a lot of problems with the show and J&K. But I have common sense. Freedom of speech, snark is fine, but I'd have a lot more respect for the anti's if they started their replies with "my speculation is" OR "that might be the case".
I like Guin's "after" comments. It's my speculation (ha!) that Guin is pointing out that conclusions and opinions are welcome, but they are not FACTS.
My rant for the day. Thanks for keeping this blog an open discussion, and not a bandwagon of speculation that morphs into FACTs.
ps - when my eyes get tired of rolling from anti sites, I click on the Princess board. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy!
Grayce, you said everything so well that I have nothing else to add :). The Princess Boards are wonderful, though having one of them stir the crazy at GWoP and now seeing that quote in Star Magazine was disheartening. I still love them, though!!
I checked out Zondervan's site and did not find a speaking schedule anywhere. That being said, I had not personally seen it on their site before so I was not sure where to look. In my opinion Kate may be restructuring her book tour to be home more. That makes a lot of sense considering current events-- If I were her and found out my husband was out late getting drunk with friends (at the very least we have proof that was going on) then I would want to be home more and make sure the kids were being taken care of.
I admit I laugh when they troll GWOP. Maybe the Star quote will lead to an article about how blog opinion becomes fact.
When the show ends, and the Gosselin fanfare dies down, I could envision such an article on how the blog world, tabloids, and J&K's own words and actions led to the demise of their image.
I would like to think that Kate is re-arranging her schedule, I did read she cancelled 2 appearances earlier this week, but she kept A LOT of them too.
Lizabeth, I agree, I think Kate should keep herself home for awhile. Get a grip on things. I for one don't like that Jon is out late at night, presumably drunk, with the kids home with a nanny.
I realize a nanny could take care of them, but if they want a parent what would she say?
Hi, Liza Beth. I think the Princess poster who was trolling was an exception. Clearly, his/her actions were not acceptable to the mods, and he/she was warned. Just curious, what quote in Star are you referring to? I love the people on Princess, too. I read it daily.
ToBie, I was referring to the quote about seeing Kate flirt with "Mr. Gray" on the airplane. That was, from my recollection, a joke. I love Princess as well and thought it was hilarious... till Star decided to publish things from GWoP. I had no idea people who call themselves journalists would consider that responsible behavior-- I guess we all learned differently!
Thanks for your comment and welcome to the site-- have you posted here before?
I like Guin's "after" comments. It's my speculation (ha!) that Guin is pointing out that conclusions and opinions are welcome, but they are not FACTS.Yes, thank you. I swear, I wouldn't have expected anyone to ever accuse me of being scientifically-minded. But I do differentiate between opinions and facts, and it seems like some people don't, and they get offended when their "feelings"/crazy theories aren't given the weight of actual factual evidence (I'm not accusing anyone in this thread, just speaking from past experiences). I certainly don't expect anyone to take my opinions and feelings as gospel.
Regarding the Princess "trolling", while it's unfortunate to think that it had anything to do with the rumors the Star printed, I think the main point that should be remembered is the fact that a website (one that has been burned by false "inside" accounts in the past) continues to allow posts through, no matter how unlikely they are to be true or how ugly, as long as they reflect badly on the Gosselins. It's disappointing as well that an actual national magazine, even one with a dubious reputation, would repeat baseless and unproven accusations.
Hi, again. Sorry, I'm confused. What is the association between Star magazine and the Princess ladies specifically? I'm not following. Maybe it was mentioned here and I missed it. Thanks! Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas!
A poster on the Princess Board made up (trolled) a comment on GWOP to see if it would get posted.
It did, proving to the Princess Board that GWOP will print anything that's juicy and unfounded
The post that was published said something to the effect that Kate was making goo goo eyes at Mr. Gray on a airplane.
Star magazine saw the post and used it in their story, the point being that Star is pulling posts from blogs not based on fact or confirmation that a post is indeed a "reliable source"
I would love for Star to retract this part of the article, but I'm sure they have moved on and wouldn't take the time to read that it was a troll-joke. IMO, of course.
Thanks, Grayce! I saw the troll on the Princess boards, but I had no idea that Star pulled that into their article. Perhaps that goes to show how "credible" Star is.
My personal favorite is when GWOP uses the National Enquirer as the basis for some of their TRUTH. They claim it has credibility because they uncovered the John Edwards scandal. That's ONE example. Even when my watch is broken, it's still correct twice a day. Don't get their logic at all.
The post in Star Magazine is NOT the one that someone from Princess trolled onto GWOP. The Princess comment was that she was a ticket agent and Kate was flirting at the ticket counter. The one posted in Star is a different post about Kate on the plane. I'm not saying the original comment is true but let's make sure the correct facts are posted here. You can go to the Princess board and read where the original comment about being on the plane precipatated the fake ticket agent comment.
my sincere apologies for getting the two comments mixed up. I love the princess board and as I posted earlier, the snarky side of me found it hilarious that they successfully got a comment posted on GWOP because it was in line with their wavelength.
SusanP, I do not recall the post about being a ticket counter person but that makes sense. I, too, apologize for the misinformation. I've not been on GWoP in ages so I really just hear about it through the Greecies. Hi, Princess people who read here :).
Grayce, I totally agree that it was amusing how the Princess 'insider' was posted with no questions asked, especially after events back in October. You would think that people would be more careful what they publish with all the slander and libel issues nowadays but I guess not. And it really would be great for the Star to retract the false parts of that article, but seeing as how they have no proof for anything it would probably take retracting the entire article!
There is documented evidence on the process of how a person deals with infidelity.
They have therapy for such an issue.
What I am "jumping on you on" is you incorrectly formed opinion.
You are correct, you are entitled to it--however, you expectations are irrational and unrealistic given the circumstance.
Kate's reaction that we see is the pain she is feeling.
No doubt that she will at some point if she hasn't already yelled at her husband.
But since this was all done out of her presence--it is unreasonable to expect her to say he did it or not when she doesn't have all the information except for photos and Jon's word.
As for the photos--there was a mystery man in one of them. I asked if anyone knew who it was--surprisingly no response.
How can one accept that she is Jon's girlfriend, but not even suppose that the mystery man might be her boyfriend?
In the end--if she ends up being in an affair with Jon--we still get to the same place we started.
That it is uneasonable for Kate--at this point--for her to fawn over her husband or throw him to the curb.
There is a processing period when hearing news such as that.
Having not experienced that--it is no surprise that your opinion is as callous as it is.
And if you feel jumped on--perhaps there is some truth to what I am saying.
For if you were confident, you wouldn't feel the need to point out that everyone is picking apart your posts.
If Kate were confident, she could state more plainly her love or disdain with her husband. But she is not confident--so she doubts her husband and she doubts the story behind the photos that the gossip magazines are telling. She has no confidence in either source and it will take time to get to the truth.
Expecting more of her is quite crude.
One of a million and one reasons why I cannot share with people. They won't get it--they won't understand. And they would be quick to judge on a situation that they haven't experienced personally.
"OK Theresa! I guess it hasn't been "documented" to your satisifaction at this point.
Give it a week or so, and I will ask you the same question. :)"
I did not watch him on Oprah.
But when I found out after it was confirmed (not gossiped) that he cheated while his wife was trying to cure herself of something that could kill her to only be told that they could not cure her...
I can only imagine how lower than dirt that you would have to be to seek the arms of another woman when you spouse is weakend from sickness.
Short of murder or attempted murder of your spouse--I can't think of anything worse than that.
That might be why some people feel joy. That and he is a politician and for once a canned answer wasn't going to get him out of it.
But no--I would not typically enjoy the "revenge" of seeing someone caught with their pants down so to speak and most likely others might not as well.
Often women imagine what it would be like if they were in that position and their spouse did that.
Having been sort of in that position myself (though with no illness and no infidelity)--there was no joy in catching my husband.
"National Enquirer as the basis for some of their TRUTH. They claim it has credibility because they uncovered the John Edwards scandal. "
Wasn't it Carol Burnett who sued and won b/c NE fabricated a story?
I don't recall if it was her or not--and perhaps they are better at fact checking.
But interestingly enough--if we are going to pull past stories as validation that current stories are true--we must remember they have been litigated against in the past...and lost!
I'd like to amend/add to my original comment (and I am flattered that I've finally said something worth picking apart!)
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES.I was just as surprised that Jon's comment did not mention love or commitment as I was at Kate's comments. In retrospect, I actually think Kate's comments were more appropriate, given how recently all the allegations came out and the fact that she was speaking live. I totally "get" that she may not love her husband right now, or want to profess that love to the world in light of the situation. But Jon is categorically denying an affair. His words, "I did not cheat on Kate." But never, "I am committed to my marriage," or "I love my wife and I shouldn't have put her in this position." I don't know, maybe that's inherent in the "committed to my family" comment, but I just feel that in a carefully crafted statement you would want to acknowledge your commitment to the marriage if people are accusing you of not being committed to your spouse.
But I also think that if Kate doesn't know where she stands yet, and maybe we can infer that from her statements, she shouldn't be making the talk show rounds. A canned statement would have sufficed. I would totally support circling the wagons in this situation. This couple doesn't owe us an explanation. But since they gave us quite a few, I can't help but analyze.
A Mom-ynous, I am sorry for the pain your family has been through. I guess I was being kind of flippant when I said that I enjoyed watching John Edwards squirm. I do not enjoy seeing his family's personal pain on display. I guess I was looking at a pretty-boy (smarmy) politician getting his true colors shown to the world. I have always found him to be phony. I felt like he was incredibly egotistical and delusional to think he could run for president and keep this a secret. And lastly, you hit the nail on the head--his wife is fighting cancer and he needs a bimbo to tell him he's hot. Like I said before--I'm not proud of my reaction--I'd like to be a bigger person that that. I know you see it from a totally different perspective and I appreciate that. Thanks for putting a different light on it.
Perhaps she actually is seperating from him. I really cannot blame her for wanting to protect the kids while dealing with the whole situation. I think they as parents to eight kids have a lot of thinking and soul searching to do about the future of their family. I hope they make the right decisions.
81 comments:
I noticed on this interview that she kept stressing that they love their kids. I found that a little odd, or that could possibly just be from the backlash of media talking about how much she is gone from home. I did see that she addressed the issue of hwo this new life takes her away from home.
I noticed in these interviews that she does not "deny" that Jon had an affair. Only that they are working through it. Maybe she feels his statement is enough.
I feel so sorry for the kids. At this point they could not even take the children to a grocery store without them seeing the magazines on the newsstand. And now that the Paparazzi are follwing them in Pennsylvania. hey may not have asked to be a celebrity, but at some point in this adventure they had to realize that was where this was heading. She has often said in the show how many people are viewing. I think they probably enjoyed the good side of being the celebrity.
I just pray they can put it all back together. I am afraid though that hey have hit the point they cannot return from. Even if they stopped the show they will be followed as "celebrities" for years to come.
I think Kate did a good job on both Larry King and the Today show. But, now it's time for both Jon and Kate to be quiet on this subject. If there is no other allegations then this should all go away (at least the tabloid aspect) in a few weeks if not sooner.
I thought it weird she said she wrote the books so there would be no doubt that her kids were loved. I don't know why they would doubt it. I think that is part of her personality though. She wanted the vow renewal more for the kids too so they would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.
I also disagree with the "we are not celebrities" from her. She might not like the word (like the nanny word) but that is how the majority seems to view her. She seems so shocked but what else can you expect. On one hand she's proud the show is so popular (other interviews, not this one) but she doesn't see why people are excited to see her in person?
I do think she's well spoken and don't doubt that she loves her kiddies. I wish the best for her family.
She doesn't deny that she had an affair, but she did not confirm it either.
Let us not forget that (at least according to episodes pertaining to shopping) Kate hasn't taken her kids into a grocery store in a long time.
And if she continues to shop at Whole Foods type places--at least the last time I was in one, they do not carry tabloid magazines usually. The one I went to carried only magazines having to do with a healthy way of life.
To say he should have realized is unfair. Heck the anti-gosselin sites have referred to him as aloof for quite a while. To expect him to have sudden savvy is unfair.
As for the affair--until you have walked in the shoes of the victim of an affair or rumor of affair, you cannot begin to understand the grieving process involved when someone appears to have broken the marriage covenant.
Lastly--why would it be odd that they stress that they love the kids? There is so much hatred on the internet that they are selfish and greedy and profiting off of their children.
And I cannot speak to specifics--but when something happens to your family when you have children, the first devotion is as a mother. Kate is turning on her mamma bear (gently though!)
I watched a small bit of the interview. I felt weird watching it -- I hate watching people on live shows when they clearly feel uncomfortable. Anyhow, my first reaction is that she looked really pretty. Beyond that, I think she did ok. Her answers seemed canned, which I understand. I noticed that on the screen, it said something like, "Kate Gosselin: Discussing Bristol Palin's teen abstinence message." I personally would've loved to hear Kate talk about those things. It'd be nice to see her beyond her usual self of discussing the kids and the "scandal." I honestly don't think I've ever heard her talk about news events or politics, and I have to say, I would've been interested. But when I was watching, she didn't talk about anything else. Did I miss it?
She said the kids are aware 'we' love them-- not that she, Kate, loves them, but that her and Jon as a couple love them. I also agree with Amomynous that her focus on the fact that they love their kids does have something to do with all the tabloid rumors and nasty blogs saying she does not care about them.
Kate is really holding it together well. Naturally there is a huge breach of trust due to Jon's decisions, so she is still trying to figure out for herself what is going on.
She said she knows her career is taking her away from home a lot more lately but one parent is almost always home, which is their goal. I can appreciate that-- like I said in another thread, I work from home which is a mixed blessing in that work is always there, while I get the chance to be more flexible in my hours.
Anyway, she did better at The Today Show (less um's at least!) but I still think Kate is handling herself well through all of this. I would not be half as gracious to my husband if I were in her shoes. He messed up big time-- whether he actually cheated or not-- and she is trying to fix things so they can move on.
I agree Liza Beth, I think Kate is handling herself extremely well and I think at this point that would be extremely difficult to do.
This weekend should finally bring a reprieve to this story. Kate is back home and will celebrate the tups b'day. Hopefully they will make the best effort so the tups can have a happy birthday. TLC shouldn't film this but they are greedy so they probably will. People need a break from this story.
As a child who saw her parents go through a nasty divorce due to my father's cheating after 23 years of marriage--Kate is holding it together well. IMO Jon is guilty of using poor judgement and getting involved with the wrong people, not of cheating. But still, we have seen Kate berate him for breathing loudly, I'm sure he has gotten an earful and she's got his balls in a vise grip, but I am glad she isnt letting us know that.
I have mixed feeling about the "celebrity" word, but I think thats due to the fact that everyone has different definitions and ideas of what constitutes "celebrity" just like many other words, including "nanny" :D. I don't see her as a celebrity, I see her more as an anomaly--a Mom of twins and sextuplets--to my knowledge there is only one other woman who can claim that--Betty Hayes. Because of their unique living situation that has been chronicled by the show, she has the notoriety of a celebrity, but I agree with Kate's statement "she is just a Mom," because becoming a Mom to 8 kids is what got her to this point.
LoriNJ1970 i agree that Jon and Kate should remain mum on this topic, but I also think they need to show some nonverbal signs of solidarity. Maybe some appearances together, and maybe they can get the paparrazzi to actually shoot them doing something good together, but then again thats not very juicy is it?
I think everyone thinks that the premiere on May 25 will have a lot of answers, but chances are they episode they air will have been shot way before this. Also, Kate has made it clear they will not be discussing any specific tabloid, just a general statement about the stress of their lives--well what's new Kate! Nevertheless I will be watching excitedly!
I can't wrap my brain around this interview. It struck me as odd that she kept referring to the "situation". What is the situation? Is it the fact that US weekly lied, or the fact that Jon was caught doing something inappropriate? She certainly didn't seem to defend him. I think it would have been smarter for her to stay home and issue a written statement. No one could have faulted her for that. When other celebrities are in the tabloids, the seem to deny, threaten to sue, or let it roll off, but they don't go on TV unless they have something to say about it. I don't see any of these from Kate.
It is entirely possible that Jon "cheated on" his wife without actually cheating on her.
We have no idea what their agreements and arrangements are. You can only violate your marriage vows if you don't have alternate arrangements. Perhaps their marriage has ended, perhaps they are living in their own quarters, perhaps they are putting on a show of solidarity for their children, for the viewing public, for their Christian and book-buying audience.
J&K would not be the first couple in history to agree to stay together on paper (or on TV, in their case) but lead separate lives. It happens all the time, for a multitude of reasons.
I think if that were the case it could be said that Jon played the game poorly. I'm sure if they were making motions that they are still married and devoted to each other (for whatever reason, and trust me I don't agree with many of them) Jon's decision to wet his whistle with a younger woman was one seriously dumb arse move.
I'm not saying no one should have compassion for Kate (or Jon) but remember that it's THEIR choices that got them here and it's THEIR poorly played moves that have them in the spotlight basking in a most unfavourable light.
Many people seem to be under the impression that theirs is a marriage on the rocks...I'm simply suggesting it ended a long time ago and J&K may have restructured their marriage without informing the public.
I think instead of watching Season 5 I'm going to work on finishing my kids scrapbooks, that seems like time better spent. I am looking forward to an episode in a few years when the Gosselin kids are older...kinda like an update. I do feel that, as cute as they are, dragging this series on and on is pointless. I am actually quite upset with myself for caring so much about it up til now.
I do wish them the best.
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES.
I also think if they are no longer together, then the show should end because it is no longer a documentary or a reality show, it is a farce. I don't watch the show anymore, but if people want to watch someone pretending for the cameras, there is a lot more compelling comedy and drama out there. If they are pretending to still be together for the sake of the show, that is proof that the money matters more than the well-being of the kids. And it proves that Jon & Kate think their fans are idiots who deserve to be pandered to.
Lastly, I really think Kate thinks she is looking out for the best interests of the kids by providing for them financially. I feel sad for her, because it seems that this is her only criteria for being a good parent.
I am sad for the family if the marriage is over, because although I never really like Kate, I do think that she and Jon loved each other at one time. Hopefully there is something to salvage.
Momof2: I agree with everything you said!!!
Even if they stopped the show they will be followed as "celebrities" for years to come.Well, I don't think they'll be followed by papparazzi unless they do something noteworthy. They may still have people stopping by their house to gawk, but I actually think once the show is over they'll be able to return to semi-normalcy, assuming that's what they want.
I thought it weird she said she wrote the books so there would be no doubt that her kids were loved. I don't know why they would doubt it. I think that is part of her personality though. She wanted the vow renewal more for the kids too so they would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.I could be wrong, but I get the feeling this might come from Kate's issues with her own parents. I don't know why, but I just have that sense. I know that she has issues with not having had very many experiences growing up. Maybe she didn't feel loved by her parents and that's why she wants to emphasize (to the point of vocalizing it a lot) how much she loves her kids.
I also disagree with the "we are not celebrities" from her. She might not like the word (like the nanny word) but that is how the majority seems to view her. She seems so shocked but what else can you expect. On one hand she's proud the show is so popular (other interviews, not this one) but she doesn't see why people are excited to see her in person?But if she was any other way, she'd be accused of being full of herself (even more than she is accused of it already). I can see not seeing yourself as a celebrity. Something like that is about one's self-conception, which often doesn't match the way others view you.
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES. Sigh. This just illustrates to me how the Gosselins can't catch a break no matter what they do. In the same thread, you have people thinking it's strange that Kate said that she loves her kids and people complaining that she didn't say she loves her husband.
FWIW, J&K have talked before about how they aren't lovey-dovey demonstrative and affectionate, so maybe it's just not in her nature to declare her love for him. Or maybe she's not feeling very loving right now, which would be very understandable, under the circumstances (no matter what the truth is regarding the "affair").
Lastly, I really think Kate thinks she is looking out for the best interests of the kids by providing for them financially. I feel sad for her, because it seems that this is her only criteria for being a good parent.I don't think it's her only criteria, at all. If you watch the show, there are many examples of what Kate values in parenting: her emphasis on "making memories", her approach to discipline, teaching the kids to clean up after themselves and to give back (the St. Jude's episode). Those are just a few examples off of the top of my head.
I do think Kate is very fearful about financial security, and that fear drives some of her decisions.
Was Kate asked point-blank by Larry about allegations of her own affair? If not, it would have been awfully strange--or rather, ill-advised-- for her to mention it, whether to confirm or deny.
Guinevere,I disagree with you quite a bit on the comments you chose to pull out and comment on (mine included).
I agree that after awhile the gawkers would calm down.
My comment about thinking it odd she had to "prove" her love was based not about how to show fans that. It was based on her comment on LKL last night that she wrote the books so the kids would know they are loved. I take it to mean that something is making the kids not feel loved and she thinks the book is the answer. There might be many other ways to look at it. Usually you require people to state what face their opinion is based on and you are commenting freely about why you think she feels the need to "prove" to her kids that she loves them. Many of us form opinions based on how we are feeling and sometimes I feel we are told that we need to base this on some factual piece. Nice to see you are coming around!
Regarding the celebrity comment--she might not see herself that way and be modest, but I'm pointing out she's getting this attention because the general public does see her as a celebrity.
I think I am venturing in the area of being argumentative here (maybe it's my time of the month), but I feel our comments are picked apart (which I don't mind), and that would be fine if maybe you also offered your comments earlier sometimes instead of sort of being judge and jury of our comments. Still friends? I do think I'm being a bit argumentative but also think someone who knows you usually forgives this from time to time.....
Rachel,
I really thought your comment hit the nail on the head.
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES. Sigh. This just illustrates to me how the Gosselins can't catch a break no matter what they do. In the same thread, you have people thinking it's strange that Kate said that she loves her kids and people complaining that she didn't say she loves her husband.
Why SIGH? That seems so dramatic. The fact is she didn't say she loved Jon when in the past she has said it over and over.
I think her speaking about the love of her kids is part of her insecurites, maybe she knows deep down that they have raised them in a not so healthy environment, we don't know. But we do know that she left out her love of her husband this time and that is a message in and of it self.
Sadly, it looks as though the paparazzi has found the Gosselin kids with a high profile zoom lens.
This makes me sick.
There is a link from Philly.com I saw on another site where the US reporter states without hesitance that he knows for a fact Jon was having an affair with Deanna Hummel.
Of course the paps will be on Jon and Kate relentlessly now. And the fact the kids are now being photographed without their knowledge bothers me a great deal. I did see the dogs though.
she mentioned that she loved her kids, but no statement about loving her husband...interesting.
Why SIGH? That seems so dramatic. The fact is she didn't say she loved Jon when in the past she has said it over and over. Because if you've followed all the Gosselin drama online for a while like I have, you sometimes grow weary of reading the evidence that some people are always going to find something to criticize. She gets criticized for saying she loves her kids. She gets criticized for not saying she loves Jon.
Doesn't it seem possible that she's a wee bit pissed at Jon at the moment and not inclined towards declarations of love?
In any case, I don't recall her saying that she loved him in the past "over and over". My impression has been that she is not hugely demonstrative with him, and I think at least on one occasion she stated that. The younger Kate we saw in their earlier videos seemed a lot more bubbly and affectionate - but I can see that easily being a function of age rather than a change in her feelings towards Jon.
Guin, I agree with you. Put yourself in Kate's shoes here, from her perspective-- you are working your tail off, going hither, thither, and yon (literally) for a book tour that has been planned for months. In the midst of this there are tabloids with reports that your husband is cheating on you. With a 23 year old. There are pics of them together, etc. You know your husband has done some stupid things in the past (bar pics where he looks wasted, anyone?) and are disappointed that something apparently happened while you were away.
Kate is probably trying to figure out what the truth is now for herself. She does not seem to be pleased at all with Jon's behavior, because regardless of whether or not he cheated, he still made a huge mess that she has to clean up now. I know, I know-- "Why doesn't Kate just let Jon clean up his own mess?" Well as we can see here, that does not work. His statements made him look worse, thus Kate is now trying to figure things out for herself while being asked by the public what is going on.
Dealing with it privately is not code for "I knew this was happening and have a guy on the side anyway so I don't care." It means what she said-- they are dealing with the situation, whatever that may be (and Kate may not know for sure at this point either), and doing so behind closed doors.
I have to wonder whether some people want Jon and Kate to get into a huge brawl on TV or something. I agree with the posters that have said 'no matter what she does, she's screwed.' Handling things gracefully and keeping the kids away isn't good enough for some... she needs to be gushing over and over about her husband who started all this now? I know someone mentioned that there are paparazzi getting pics of the kids now, too, which is so disgusting. That had not happened in the past-- we never saw pics of their regular lives, just when they were out on appearances.
This whole thing has snowballed, and while I still feel ending the show soon is best, again we have no idea how much of the season is already filmed nor are we privy to contract agreements. Its just really sad that Jon was out and about in this way, and has caused so much drama. I'm sure Kate does not appreciate it- I wouldn't either.
My comment about thinking it odd she had to "prove" her love was based not about how to show fans that. It was based on her comment on LKL last night that she wrote the books so the kids would know they are loved. I take it to mean that something is making the kids not feel loved and she thinks the book is the answer. There might be many other ways to look at it. Usually you require people to state what face their opinion is based on and you are commenting freely about why you think she feels the need to "prove" to her kids that she loves them. Many of us form opinions based on how we are feeling and sometimes I feel we are told that we need to base this on some factual piece. Nice to see you are coming around!I don't think I've ever said that people's opinions have to be based on facts. Sometimes opinions are just based on feelings, of course, and that's the case with what I said - I get the sense that Kate's issue with stating her love for her kids has more to do with her relationship with her parents than any belief that her kids would think they aren't loved. I have reasons for forming this opinion (one is that it seems to me that she has been this way since the beginning, long before she'd have had any reason to have qualms about the effects of the show on the kids' lives), but in the end it's not really based on anything very concrete. It's just my feeling/opinion.
Since I'm not yet Lord Mistress of the Universe, I don't claim the right to require anyone to do anything. Sometimes I disagree with people when I think they are stating opinion as fact (e.g. "the marriage has been over for a long time") - partly just because in my own communication, I'm more likely to soften my opinion with an "IMO" when I'm saying something that I know is controversial or really not based on much more than my own feelings. Sometimes I'll ask someone why they think x, y or z. I don't think that's the same as me demanding proof, though.
Regarding the celebrity comment--she might not see herself that way and be modest, but I'm pointing out she's getting this attention because the general public does see her as a celebrity.But she has acknowledged that. She did in the King interview. She realizes that this is her life and people are curious about her. All she said is that she doesn't think of herself in those terms.
I think I am venturing in the area of being argumentative here (maybe it's my time of the month), but I feel our comments are picked apart (which I don't mind), and that would be fine if maybe you also offered your comments earlier sometimes instead of sort of being judge and jury of our comments.I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm no one's judge and jury. Everyone is equal here, and my disagreeing with someone doesn't mean I'm judging them or that I ever intend to pick apart their comments.
I probably do respond more than I initiate comments. Partly that's just because I'm always behind on reading the blog, and partly it's because I find I have more to say in response to what others say than in response to the initial blog entry.
Still friends? I do think I'm being a bit argumentative but also think someone who knows you usually forgives this from time to time.....Of course still friends! And yes, I would hate to think I could dish it out but not take it. You're not being argumentative in my mind. You should see what people say about me elsewhere on the internet!
Lizabeth, very well said (as usual).
Lizabeth said..."Handling things gracefully and keeping the kids away isn't good enough for some... she needs to be gushing over and over about her husband who started all this now?" Exactly! I have seen her criticized for saying that Jon has handled things "poorly." Maybe this comment was less than completely politic, but it was pretty tame when one considers what she has had to put up with this week.
Overall, I think she handled herself with grace and dignity in difficult circumsntances on both The Today Show and LKL.
Why is it so hard to understand that Kate might not be feeling all that loving towards Jon right now? If you were in her shoes would you? That doesn't mean she's stopped loving him they're just going through a rough time with the added pressure of the millions of eyes on them.
LoriNJ1970: No kidding! While you see beleaguered wives of, say, philandering politicians standing by their man's side at a press conference, they sure are keeping their mouths shut and not uttering any kind of love for the a**hole.
I think Kate stressing to her kids about both parents' love for them is actually what child experts say you're supposed to do. Children (as someone mentioned earlier) often tend to blame themselves for their parents' quarrels.
Overall, I think she handled herself with grace and dignity in difficult circumsntances on both The Today Show and LKL.
May 8, 2009 3:59 PMI think so, too Anya.
LoriNJ1970 said...
Why is it so hard to understand that Kate might not be feeling all that loving towards Jon right now? If you were in her shoes would you? That doesn't mean she's stopped loving him they're just going through a rough time with the added pressure of the millions of eyes on them.
May 8, 2009 4:02 PM Great points LoriNJ1970!
Kate won't be home Saturday, the day before the tups bday, so she prolly isn't helping plan the party. She'll be at a book signing at SAms Club in BEntonville Arkansas. I called the store tonight and they said its still on.
so she prolly isn't helping plan the party. Assumption fadingnebula. Maybe she has it all planned and ready to go?
She's been on book tours a lot. Yes I assumed, but I don't think its out of left field.
I thought it weird she said she wrote the books so there would be no doubt that her kids were loved. I don't know why they would doubt it. I think that is part of her personality though. She wanted the vow renewal more for the kids too so they would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.I thought it showed Kate's insecurity about her relationship when she kept saying the kids would know mommy and daddy would be together forever.
Re the books: I interpreted that as Kate feeling overwhelmed since she never planned on having so many children and wanted to make sure they all individually knew.
Lizabeth, I agree that Kate is prob trying to figure out the truth for herself at this point.
After the Today show interview, I thought she believed Jon didn't cheat. I've changed my mind to she hasn't had time to decide.
I would be mortified to have to continue a tour and have all those eyes upon me. You don't stop living just because of drama and she has all these obligations in addition to the worry of her children and marriage. Even if she has made a big decision, I don't see her making any public announcement until details of the personal situations and contracts could be worked out. Why would she show her hand when there could be legal complications w/her marriage and her work in the future?
NObody said anything about gushing! And what is this about Kate "cleaning up the mess"-I am sorry but it takes 2 to make the mess they are in. NO-it does not mean she deserved infidelity at all. No Way! In my opinion their marriage has been rocky for awhile for reasons that come from BOTH jon and Kate.
My point was Kate never said she loved jon as was pointed out by another poster. She also said she was hesitant to believe the tabloids. So which is it? They are in love, like always and will be together forever and ever for the kids, or Jon did cheat and she was lying when she made her statement?
And no one knows what "dealing with it private" is code for. For all we know they MAY have an arrangement of some sort, we just don;t know.
And yea, it is disgusting that the paps are on to the kids now as a result of the decsions the parents made.
Illinois mom said..
My point was Kate never said she loved jon as was pointed out by another poster. She also said she was hesitant to believe the tabloids. So which is it? They are in love, like always and will be together forever and ever for the kids, or Jon did cheat and she was lying when she made her statement?
----------------------------------
Why does it have to be one or the other? Most marriages go through good and bad times. There has been more than one time in my own marriage when I didn't like my husband very much. We worked through it and our marriage became stronger. And let me tell you my husband never did anything as boneheaded as it appears Jon did. I'm not even sure Jon physically cheated on Kate but he sure left the door open for speculation.
I guess the point I'm trying to make, and probably very badly, is that Kate can still love Jon and be terribly disappointed by his choices. I think it's going to take time to heal the wounds. I also do agree that it takes two people to make a marriage work BUT cheating is never acceptable or excusable.
I just watched. I am surprised to hear (at the end) that she has been allowed to refute footage of the children that she thinks is inappropriate. I didn't know that. She then says she's never refuted any footage of herself. I am really surprised. I wonder how hard she has to fight for that? I think some other scenes should have been refuted, but maybe she had to exercise that power in order to get worse stuff cut? (I'm just wondering...don't know.)
Lori,
Nicely said, and I think you probably are right. I do think Kate still loves Jon, and this is the first time I really thought about that.
Saint,
It is interesting I think that some of the stuff discussed on the blogs that are more controversial, she allowed? Hmmm?
I can think of a few things with her kids I wish she would have had editted.
I'm very sympathetic toward Kate, but I am still surprised she is plugging away at these interviews. I think she's right to respond, "We're handling it privately." I also think she should handle it privately now, not do any more interviews. I realize there is a book promotion contract. I'm just surprised she can't get out of it, at least temporarily. I'm not in her shoes, though, just saying what I think I'd do.
I'm glad her kids are in a small private school. That could make it easier on the children, especially if the school families rally around their own. I doubt the girls are completely insulated from the news, though I guess they could be. I hope they are.
LK sure did ask Kate questions without any tact, unlike Meredith V. who seemed more compassionate.
I was a bit taken aback when Lk flat out asked Kate if any of the kids know. His interview style bothers me, it's so emotionless. Kate clearly looked uncomforable as she started anwering vaguely, then ended a definitive "NO, Mady and Cara are not aware" (I'm paraphrasing)
After watching Kate answer this question again, it's the only answer that felt...strange and uneasy to me.
I'm sceptical about how the twins could possibly not know anything. I don't mean to imply that Kate was lying. Maybe she felt that was another can of worms and decided to end her answer with NO, they haven't. Maybe she felt it was no one's business (which it isn't) and she was protecting her children by saying no plus it ended the topic. If she would have said yes, LK probably would have probed and probed and probed. As Kate would say on the couch - Moving on!
I would think that it would ease Kate's mind that they are not aware, but I think that eventually the twins will hear or see something, which is so sad. Kate may be a bit stoic, but IMO, her heart will hurt more if/when they ask Mom or Dad about the story.
Sorry anti-gosselins, Kate doesn't owe us a bulletized fact sheet run-down to her "public". How can they complain that she shouldn't be out interviewing and in the same breath say it's not fair to answer it's being dealt with privately because "she owes us"?
Here's your answer anti's - Kate eblast's a fact sheet to her "public" from home...in private. LOL! Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
No wonder she's thick skinned. I'd be institutionalized by now.
I digress. My original point is that I hope Mady and Cara are ok.
"I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES.
"
Having been heart by emotional cheating in my home via addiction--I will say that in the moment of processing the news--there is are stages of grief when hearing about it.
Plus--Jon is denying it--that is difficult to deal iwth even if it isn't true.
Her brain is telling her one message (the logic part) while her heart is breaking over the possibility that it could be true.
It is a blow to the psyche.
It is unfair for the population to expect her to profess her love blindly when there is evidence suggesting it is plausible that Jon is lying.
Working through the situation is just that--working through it. Finding the truth, finding where they go from here, finding a method of healthy coping in which they resume their couplehood.
I cannot speak more to this--but honestly...
It is ballsy to expect her to do a Tammy Wynett "Stand by her man" moment.
It is actually more healthy for the marriage to process the grief of what is going on and finding the truth than to have her suppress all common sense and ignore it.
The ol' saying "Fool Me Once,shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" applies.
For her to get all sappy in interviews just after all this leaked as a means to "prove" that things are okay--would serve no purpose than to cast doubts in their fanbase that is already there.
This is not scripted television let us remember.
The appearance of cheating can be very painful.
Kate is permitted to process this as she is able.
The first priority jumps to the kids.
I will tell you--my mamma bear really kicked in when my husband and I had to deal with a private issue in our home. I love him--but my kids are more important for the particular situation.
What Kate is doing--is completely NORMAL!!! (with the exception that I don't have an invite to be on Larry King to share my version of events)
I don't think Larry King should have asked if Mady and Cara know what is going on. If Kate had said yes, would he have then asked what they thought about things. They are 8 year olds. They should not know details of their parents marital problems. I am certain the girls and even the little ones know something is amiss but they should not be privy to the intimate details of their parents marital problems. Their schoolmates must see the magazine covers - they are everywhere. I probably would have gotten up out of my seat and walked out when he asked that. IIRC other people have left his show over less.
"Lastly, I really think Kate thinks she is looking out for the best interests of the kids by providing for them financially. I feel sad for her, because it seems that this is her only criteria for being a good parent."
When a spouse is suspected of cheating, the mother bear instinct kicks in and considering how they will be supported.
Jon thus far--at least in blog-land--has been proven to be "lazy" and unable to keep gainful employment to sustain a family.
Her nursing career would make it difficult to support all of the children as well.
Their story is their product and yes, she is dealing with it.
There are many people that resort to writing books and sharing their story and being an example to other people.
We don't have to get into diatribes on whether Kate is suitable to fit this role or not.
I am a homeschooling mom and there are many who take their talents to the pen and profit off of it.
One day--who knows, that may be my story.
It is my right to share it. And if people wish to pay to read about it--it is entirely up to them.
"Why SIGH? That seems so dramatic. The fact is she didn't say she loved Jon when in the past she has said it over and over. "
If your spouse were in a situation that made it quite plausible that infidelity took place, are you suggesting your first response to him or to familiy and friends would be that you love him.
Often if that is the response despite all evidence, it is suggestive that one is unwilling to believe it and is trying to suppress any and all thoughts regarding it.
In my own personal circumstance, since I cannot out of respect for my husband confess to any of my friends (it is not an affair but something else)--I found an on-line community for women in my position.
Let me just say--love is the FARTHEST thing from the mind of a wife who is confused, saddened, angry, displeased, embarrassed, humiliated and any other synonym to describe the pain of the heart when faced with physical or psychological infidelity.
What it speaks VOLUMES to me is that she is heavily burdened with how to process the news and how she will get the undeniable truth from her husband of whether or not naitivite or infidelity took place.
This takes time.
And no--running home to deal with it--doesn't make it happen any quicker.
In fact--for me, I was quite relieved when my husband had a business trip planned so that I could process what had happened without him around to make me an emotional wreck.
I just am--astonished that folks feel picked on for their opinions when they have not walked in the shoes of a similar situation.
I don't wish it on anyone--but just like you don't tell someone who lost child or spouse to death that you know how they feel when it hasn't happened to you, it is highly unjust to project what a someone like Kate should do if it hasn't happened to you.
And if you have been cheated on and can honestly say that in the process of your grief that you could emphasize that you loved the cheater and mean it....I guess you are a much more stronger woman than myself or Kate Gosselin or anyone that I have known personally who have been cheated on.
You love the person you had--not the cheater.
The cheater--is not the same person you married.
Grayce said...Sorry anti-gosselins, Kate doesn't owe us a bulletized fact sheet run-down to her "public". How can they complain that she shouldn't be out interviewing and in the same breath say it's not fair to answer it's being dealt with privately because "she owes us"?
Here's your answer anti's - Kate eblast's a fact sheet to her "public" from home...in private. LOL! Damned if you do, damned if you don't. ...........
Nicely said!
As a side note, I have enjoyed seeing some new posters (or posters who are positing more) - such as Illinois Mom, LoriNJ, Sandy, Grayce, and a few others. Hope you stick around! We do appreciate the variety of opinions. :-)
Saint,
We must have been typing at the same time.
Your post was stated more succinctly than mine - it's doubtful the twins are isolated from the news, but could be, and hope they are.
I don't post often because I end up rambling. You nutshelled it for me, thanks for that!
Illinois mom:
"They are in love, like always and will be together forever and ever for the kids, or Jon did cheat and she was lying when she made her statement?"
You don't get it, do you?
You want her to pick sides at this very moment to appease your expectations?
Feel blessed that you have not had to encounter this.
After my cooling off period, I could once again acknowledge my love for my husband--but my brain had to process much information prior to me being able to do this.
It ain't easy--I wish people would stop treating her as though her husband decided to suddenly become vegetarian or something.
And no one knows what "dealing with it private" is code for.I think it's code for "it's none of your business". The word "private" seems to me to be a rather large clue.
Whether Jon was unfaithful to Kate or not--Or maybe he was just guilty of incredibly poor judgement--we really don't need to know.
I agree that the only people in this situation that Jon owes anything to is Kate and the kids.
I have on many occasions been annoyed by Kate's personality, but she has handled herself very graciously, while Jon has be in seclusion.
The whole situation is so sad. I don't care personally if he cheated or not--he didn't make any vows to me.
When I read other things on the internet, everyone is quick to blame Kate. I have to think there is much more to the dynamics of their relationship. The way she laughs at things he says, etc. you can tell she loves him. And now she just looks so sad.
Maybe the ones that have duped the public are TLC for editing the show to be "Kate the Shrew" and not giving a more balanced picture.
I know it has been a gold mine to keep the drama going, but at what cost.
PS--
While I think that Jon should have expected that his behavior would become public knowledge, I do think that how Jon and Kate handle it should be left to them in private.
And on a side note--I personally(and I'm not proud of it) enjoyed watching John Edwards look like a deer caught in the headlights on Oprah :).
A-Mom-ymous -
I'm sorry that this happened to you and your family. You are very brave to go through it and to be able to share it how you have.
A Mom-ynous,
I commend you for giving us all a more personal perspective to Kate's present state of mind.
You expressed yourself very well, and I want to thank you for helping to illusutrate the fact that the Gosselins are human and are dealing with the present situation as best they can....like anyone else would, but with the added presseure (for Kate) of facing the public at the same time.
The stress of trying to sort out what's happened with Jon, keeping the kids shielded from the scandal and having to keep working must be overwhelming for Kate. Some people might view the strength to deal with it all as being cold-hearted or that she doesn't really care. I think she has a backbone like noone I've ever seen before.
I'm glad, whatever their reasons, that the Gosselins are keeping this situation as private as possible. There really is nothing more about their parents' relationship that the Gosselin children should ever have to read about or watch on archived video. What they know about their parents' marriage now or in the future should come from Kate and Jon in private. I think their parents, the media and the viewing public should allow the Gosselin kids that much.
I just got caught up reading he comments and Marci you summed up everything I was thinking so eloquently.
A Mom-ynous, I have enjoyed reading your wisdom. No doubt, gained by your painful experience, thanks for sharing your perspective. You are a smart and brave woman. Thanks for sharing what true feeligs people go through on any addiction.
I have witnessed a friend's marriage take the upheaval and survive, and heal from an addiction and reading your posts I can relate in what you are saying and seeing how a woman "should or should not" feel when something bad happens.
Thank you.
And on a side note--I personally(and I'm not proud of it) enjoyed watching John Edwards look like a deer caught in the headlights on Oprah :).
May 9, 2009 5:12 AM
__________________
Florida Mom, thanks for the smile. I thought the same thing!!
Guinievere,
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, maybe it is meant for the viewers to hang in suspence!
For the ladies who have experienced something like this first hand, I am sorry for you.
But we are talking about a TV personality and while you take it more on a personal level, and I can see why, I am not.
I am refering to things I have seen and heard and I am entitled to forge my own opinion.
And, you are right, I don't "get" it. I am not Kate, have never been cheated on, don't have a TV show, on and on. But she is on every celeb blog and newscast right now because by her own choosing, she and her family are in the public domain. Wether it is right or wrong to be talking about her, we all are. And we all are sharing various opinions. Please don;t jump on me for sharing mine.
So if you enjoyed John Edwards taking the heat, would you say the same about Jon Gosselin?
I missed the Oprah show. Well actually I don't watch it anymore. What happened?
Nina
I am not fond of Oprah, and I missed it as well.
Illinois Mom said...
So if you enjoyed John Edwards taking the heat, would you say the same about Jon Gosselin?
May 9, 2009 8:21 AM
Illinois Mom, it has been documented and proven John Edwards had an affair. Can't say the same for Jon. So, my answer to your quetion would be "no".
And, btw, I think John Edwards cheating on his wife, during a time where he should've been there for her, was dispicable. His place was to be with his wife, especially since she asked him to not move on with this campaign.
OK Theresa! I guess it hasn't been "documented" to your satisifaction at this point.
Give it a week or so, and I will ask you the same question. :)
I would have to say that John Edwards finally admitted to it.
Jon Gosselin has not. This is my opinion and only mine but I think that could be coming.
I have no inside proof, just my gut feeling. I believe if Jon did have an affair it is best to just admit to it and move on. Then maybe the rag magazines would go away and this family could make some decisions and start whatever process that is needed for them to get back to being a family.
If I am wrong, I apologize to Jon.
Yes, as you you're aware Illinois Mom, I do believe in facts. That's why I am always refuting stuff that I read that is speculation and assumption thrown out as fact.
You can ask me in a week. :)
I read that Zondervan removed Kate's book signing schedule. Does anyone know if this is true?
The FACT(sic) was stated that it was removed so people would'nt know where she would be appearing and my favorite - damage control.
Maybe the schedule is down because Kate is re-arranging it to be more home for now.
Maybe her PR people suggested it be removed so it didn't feed into the frenzy of the kids are #1 priority, and Kate is never home.
Maybe it is damage control.
The FACT is that I don't know why it's down, (if it even is, I didn't check).
I have a lot of problems with the show and J&K. But I have common sense. Freedom of speech, snark is fine, but I'd have a lot more respect for the anti's if they started their replies with "my speculation is" OR "that might be the case".
I like Guin's "after" comments. It's my speculation (ha!) that Guin is pointing out that conclusions and opinions are welcome, but they are not FACTS.
My rant for the day. Thanks for keeping this blog an open discussion, and not a bandwagon of speculation that morphs into FACTs.
ps - when my eyes get tired of rolling from anti sites, I click on the Princess board. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy!
Grayce, you said everything so well that I have nothing else to add :). The Princess Boards are wonderful, though having one of them stir the crazy at GWoP and now seeing that quote in Star Magazine was disheartening. I still love them, though!!
I checked out Zondervan's site and did not find a speaking schedule anywhere. That being said, I had not personally seen it on their site before so I was not sure where to look. In my opinion Kate may be restructuring her book tour to be home more. That makes a lot of sense considering current events-- If I were her and found out my husband was out late getting drunk with friends (at the very least we have proof that was going on) then I would want to be home more and make sure the kids were being taken care of.
Lizabeth,
I admit I laugh when they troll GWOP. Maybe the Star quote will lead to an article about how blog opinion becomes fact.
When the show ends, and the Gosselin fanfare dies down, I could envision such an article on how the blog world, tabloids, and J&K's own words and actions led to the demise of their image.
I would like to think that Kate is re-arranging her schedule, I did read she cancelled 2 appearances earlier this week, but she kept A LOT of them too.
I wish them the best. But, Jon is stoopid, IMO.
Lizabeth,
I agree, I think Kate should keep herself home for awhile. Get a grip on things. I for one don't like that Jon is out late at night, presumably drunk, with the kids home with a nanny.
I realize a nanny could take care of them, but if they want a parent what would she say?
Hi, Liza Beth. I think the Princess poster who was trolling was an exception. Clearly, his/her actions were not acceptable to the mods, and he/she was warned. Just curious, what quote in Star are you referring to? I love the people on Princess, too. I read it daily.
ToBie, I was referring to the quote about seeing Kate flirt with "Mr. Gray" on the airplane. That was, from my recollection, a joke. I love Princess as well and thought it was hilarious... till Star decided to publish things from GWoP. I had no idea people who call themselves journalists would consider that responsible behavior-- I guess we all learned differently!
Thanks for your comment and welcome to the site-- have you posted here before?
There are 27 pics from Eight Little Faces on MSNBC. I looked at them and they were cute.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30624096/
I like Guin's "after" comments. It's my speculation (ha!) that Guin is pointing out that conclusions and opinions are welcome, but they are not FACTS.Yes, thank you. I swear, I wouldn't have expected anyone to ever accuse me of being scientifically-minded. But I do differentiate between opinions and facts, and it seems like some people don't, and they get offended when their "feelings"/crazy theories aren't given the weight of actual factual evidence (I'm not accusing anyone in this thread, just speaking from past experiences). I certainly don't expect anyone to take my opinions and feelings as gospel.
Regarding the Princess "trolling", while it's unfortunate to think that it had anything to do with the rumors the Star printed, I think the main point that should be remembered is the fact that a website (one that has been burned by false "inside" accounts in the past) continues to allow posts through, no matter how unlikely they are to be true or how ugly, as long as they reflect badly on the Gosselins. It's disappointing as well that an actual national magazine, even one with a dubious reputation, would repeat baseless and unproven accusations.
Hi, again. Sorry, I'm confused. What is the association between Star magazine and the Princess ladies specifically? I'm not following. Maybe it was mentioned here and I missed it. Thanks! Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas!
ToBie,
A poster on the Princess Board made up (trolled) a comment on GWOP to see if it would get posted.
It did, proving to the Princess Board that GWOP will print anything that's juicy and unfounded
The post that was published said something to the effect that Kate was making goo goo eyes at Mr. Gray on a airplane.
Star magazine saw the post and used it in their story, the point being that Star is pulling posts from blogs not based on fact or confirmation that a post is indeed a "reliable source"
I would love for Star to retract this part of the article, but I'm sure they have moved on and wouldn't take the time to read that it was a troll-joke. IMO, of course.
I hope that clears things up.
Thanks, Grayce! I saw the troll on the Princess boards, but I had no idea that Star pulled that into their article. Perhaps that goes to show how "credible" Star is.
My personal favorite is when GWOP uses the National Enquirer as the basis for some of their TRUTH. They claim it has credibility because they uncovered the John Edwards scandal. That's ONE example. Even when my watch is broken, it's still correct twice a day. Don't get their logic at all.
Thanks again for the explanation, Grayce!
The post in Star Magazine is NOT the one that someone from Princess trolled onto GWOP. The Princess comment was that she was a ticket agent and Kate was flirting at the ticket counter. The one posted in Star is a different post about Kate on the plane. I'm not saying the original comment is true but let's make sure the correct facts are posted here. You can go to the Princess board and read where the original comment about being on the plane precipatated the fake ticket agent comment.
SusanP,
my sincere apologies for getting the two comments mixed up. I love the princess board and as I posted earlier, the snarky side of me found it hilarious that they successfully got a comment posted on GWOP because it was in line with their wavelength.
Thanks for clarifying!
SusanP, I do not recall the post about being a ticket counter person but that makes sense. I, too, apologize for the misinformation. I've not been on GWoP in ages so I really just hear about it through the Greecies. Hi, Princess people who read here :).
Grayce, I totally agree that it was amusing how the Princess 'insider' was posted with no questions asked, especially after events back in October. You would think that people would be more careful what they publish with all the slander and libel issues nowadays but I guess not. And it really would be great for the Star to retract the false parts of that article, but seeing as how they have no proof for anything it would probably take retracting the entire article!
Lizabeth,
I do feel bad that I posted something inaccurate, especially since I tend to pontificate of opinion vs. fact.
No one points out the ca-razies better. And they do it in an intelligent, spit-my-water-thru-my-nose-way!
I second the "Hey! P.M.C.G's! keep on doin' what you're doin!'"
Illinois Mom--
There is documented evidence on the process of how a person deals with infidelity.
They have therapy for such an issue.
What I am "jumping on you on" is you incorrectly formed opinion.
You are correct, you are entitled to it--however, you expectations are irrational and unrealistic given the circumstance.
Kate's reaction that we see is the pain she is feeling.
No doubt that she will at some point if she hasn't already yelled at her husband.
But since this was all done out of her presence--it is unreasonable to expect her to say he did it or not when she doesn't have all the information except for photos and Jon's word.
As for the photos--there was a mystery man in one of them. I asked if anyone knew who it was--surprisingly no response.
How can one accept that she is Jon's girlfriend, but not even suppose that the mystery man might be her boyfriend?
In the end--if she ends up being in an affair with Jon--we still get to the same place we started.
That it is uneasonable for Kate--at this point--for her to fawn over her husband or throw him to the curb.
There is a processing period when hearing news such as that.
Having not experienced that--it is no surprise that your opinion is as callous as it is.
And if you feel jumped on--perhaps there is some truth to what I am saying.
For if you were confident, you wouldn't feel the need to point out that everyone is picking apart your posts.
If Kate were confident, she could state more plainly her love or disdain with her husband. But she is not confident--so she doubts her husband and she doubts the story behind the photos that the gossip magazines are telling. She has no confidence in either source and it will take time to get to the truth.
Expecting more of her is quite crude.
One of a million and one reasons why I cannot share with people. They won't get it--they won't understand. And they would be quick to judge on a situation that they haven't experienced personally.
"OK Theresa! I guess it hasn't been "documented" to your satisifaction at this point.
Give it a week or so, and I will ask you the same question. :)"
I did not watch him on Oprah.
But when I found out after it was confirmed (not gossiped) that he cheated while his wife was trying to cure herself of something that could kill her to only be told that they could not cure her...
I can only imagine how lower than dirt that you would have to be to seek the arms of another woman when you spouse is weakend from sickness.
Short of murder or attempted murder of your spouse--I can't think of anything worse than that.
That might be why some people feel joy. That and he is a politician and for once a canned answer wasn't going to get him out of it.
But no--I would not typically enjoy the "revenge" of seeing someone caught with their pants down so to speak and most likely others might not as well.
Often women imagine what it would be like if they were in that position and their spouse did that.
Having been sort of in that position myself (though with no illness and no infidelity)--there was no joy in catching my husband.
"National Enquirer as the basis for some of their TRUTH. They claim it has credibility because they uncovered the John Edwards scandal. "
Wasn't it Carol Burnett who sued and won b/c NE fabricated a story?
I don't recall if it was her or not--and perhaps they are better at fact checking.
But interestingly enough--if we are going to pull past stories as validation that current stories are true--we must remember they have been litigated against in the past...and lost!
Woops, I hit something wrong - it was me that posted the anonymous comment up above.
I'd like to amend/add to my original comment (and I am flattered that I've finally said something worth picking apart!)
I find it striking that in none of these interviews (or in Jon's statement) do they say, "We love each other," or "we're committed to each other." They only talk about loving their kids. I think this omission speaks VOLUMES.I was just as surprised that Jon's comment did not mention love or commitment as I was at Kate's comments. In retrospect, I actually think Kate's comments were more appropriate, given how recently all the allegations came out and the fact that she was speaking live. I totally "get" that she may not love her husband right now, or want to profess that love to the world in light of the situation. But Jon is categorically denying an affair. His words, "I did not cheat on Kate." But never, "I am committed to my marriage," or "I love my wife and I shouldn't have put her in this position." I don't know, maybe that's inherent in the "committed to my family" comment, but I just feel that in a carefully crafted statement you would want to acknowledge your commitment to the marriage if people are accusing you of not being committed to your spouse.
But I also think that if Kate doesn't know where she stands yet, and maybe we can infer that from her statements, she shouldn't be making the talk show rounds. A canned statement would have sufficed. I would totally support circling the wagons in this situation. This couple doesn't owe us an explanation. But since they gave us quite a few, I can't help but analyze.
A Mom-ynous,
I am sorry for the pain your family has been through. I guess I was being kind of flippant when I said that I enjoyed watching John Edwards squirm. I do not enjoy seeing his family's personal pain on display. I guess I was looking at a pretty-boy (smarmy) politician getting his true colors shown to the world. I have always found him to be phony. I felt like he was incredibly egotistical and delusional to think he could run for president and keep this a secret. And lastly, you hit the nail on the head--his wife is fighting cancer and he needs a bimbo to tell him he's hot.
Like I said before--I'm not proud of my reaction--I'd like to be a bigger person that that.
I know you see it from a totally different perspective and I appreciate that. Thanks for putting a different light on it.
Perhaps she actually is seperating from him. I really cannot blame her for wanting to protect the kids while dealing with the whole situation. I think they as parents to eight kids have a lot of thinking and soul searching to do about the future of their family. I hope they make the right decisions.
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