Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Jon & Kate Plus 8: Beware of the Haters

Reprinted with permission from Shea.

I don’t often get worked up over a reality television show. Y’all know I’ve watched enough of them for MTV Reality World to really feel much passion for manufactured reality.
Tonight I watched one of my favorite guilty pleasure shows, Jon and Kate Plus 8. I usually eat some ice cream and curl up under a blanket and giggle at the sheer adorableness of the sextuplets on the show. But tonight, during an ironically themed “embarrassing moments” episode, I found myself squirming. The show was awkward and uncomfortable to watch as Kate Gosselin railed into her husband for most of it. So I totally googled them when the show was over. And I was sorta surprised by what I found. Blogs with hundreds upon hundreds of pages of comments absolutely skewering Kate Gosselin. Look, the episode tonight was cringe-worthy and I’ll admit that Kate is a bit of a drama queen at times. But so I am I, so maybe I relate a bit. The woman popped six kids out of her lady parts in ONE DAY. She’s doing the best she can. Think back to the last time you were wretched. Was it on film? No. If it had been, would you have blog commenters up in arms? Probably, since there is a whole group of nasty blog commenters that are like the bottom feeders of the bottom feeders and apparently live for posting their nastiness on the internet.

I had no idea that there was such “Kate backlash.”........ Please go to - http://californiagirlinkansas.com/ to read the rest of this interesting blog post and other great posts by Shea.


Finn said...

To quote Heather B from the original Real World.
"They use what you give them."

If you watch the show - Kate is exhausted ALL THE TIME.

This woman has volunteers up the wazoo. She has someone to do her laundry. She has someone to fold it. She has someone to put it away. She also has a husband who does not work to do her bidding.

This site is becoming not one of balanced discussion, but one of Kate can do no wrong - if anyone disagrees they are labled a hater. For all those who think that everyone on the GWOP board are "crazies" - not all of them are. There have been valid points on that board. If your answer to that is "who cares"?

Well what's weirder?

Sending gifts to children you don't know? Then when their mother says "next time send me a gift card, to this store so I can buy what I want" and you actually do!


The people who feel that the stories don't add up and are looking for answers?

I watch the show - I think the kids are cute. I don't particularly care for the parents, but I won't go to hear them speak or buy their book.

I think there are the people that will love and defend them no matter what. There are those who will try and "expose" them and those who really don't care one way or the other but will criticize the so called "haters" just because.

IMO it just seems like this board is just tipping the scales in the defenders favor.

For discussion's sake - the Gosselins still claim their children have no college funds. Well, the Lt. Governor of their state has set up TAP accounts for these kids. Do you think it's right for the Gosselins to still keep on perpetuating the myth that their is no money? Even if no such account existed - the money from the show isn't enough to pay for their education?

- Not hating just curious.


In response to "This site is becoming not one of balanced discussion, but one of Kate can do no wrong - if anyone disagrees they are labled a hater." We have posted every comment and story submitted that has come our way. We have not deleted one comment because it presents a different view. We have never mentioned the other blog you brought up. The articles that have been posted do not even profess a great love for this show or have a theme that Jon and Kate can do no wrong. Regarding the college fund, I do not have enough information to comment on that. So I won't. If you would like to do some research and get some real facts and write an article about the college fund and submit it to us, we will post it. However, if other people would like to discuss the college fund here, be my guest.

Guinevere said...

finn, I think you're laboring under the misconception that the people who've posted here are rabid J&K defenders, and I just don't think that's true. Speaking for myself, I would never buy the Gosselins presents or send them gift cards. I have no problem acknowledging that they aren't perfect, nor do I think that Kate can "do no wrong". I have no problem discussing their flaws; that's one of the reasons I sought out boards to discuss the show in the first place.

It's hard to have a balanced discussion when you're the only one being reasonable. I'm sure not all of the GWoP posters are crazy, but it appears at least that the inmates are running the asylum, and some of the posters over there genuinely scare me. Some of them just irritate me, picking on everything J&K (particularly Kate) do.

But some of them do manifest, I'm sorry to say it, stalker behavior. The insistence that "Kate is aware of this board" and the attempts to insert themselves into the J&K story - to affect the Gosselins' lives - that is classic stalker behavior. A stalker tries to get a reaction from his victim; he imagines that a relationship that is one way is mutual. I can name half a dozen regulars over at GWoP that have made it clear they feel that way about J&K (and I really don't even go there anymore because the negativity and ugliness makes me feel ill).

I agree that Kate seems exhausted all the time. I think one of the strongest personality traits I've observed in her is that she is easily overwhelmed (that's something I can relate to, to a degree, anyway). I wasn't aware that she had someone to do her laundry - I thought the complaint was that she had a folder and a put-awayer, but she's talked about doing laundry herself, many times. I don't really care one way or another - no matter how much help she has, I still think eight kids is a big job. But I also think it's just Kate's personality, as I said, to feel ovewhelmed and to complain.

I'm not the owner of this blog (though I love her for starting it), but as a visitor I would welcome balanced discussion. I probably focus on the positive more because there are so many that focus on the negative - I've never been the sort of person who enjoys participating in a pile-on.

Anya said...

Finn, you sound like a reasonable person and I hope you will post more. A lot of us feel the need to defend the Gosselins because the venom that has been directed to them is so extreme (in our opinion) in response to any of the PROVEN accusations.

I keep on hearing about the college funds, but I don't have the time to do the research myself and I just don't think I can trust the opinions of people who make it clear in every way that they HATE the Gosselins. If you can educate us a bit more on the TAP accounts, that would be great. That said, I am inclined to think things have moved at a very fast pace for the Gosselins. I think maybe even 6-9 months ago they were in a much less financially secure place than they are now. As things change financially, I do hope they will address issues honestly.

As for Kate, she's a complicated lady! I kind of enjoy watching her, but I can see why she would not be everyone's 'cup of tea'. I just don't get the anger people have to her that causes them to contact CPS, the IRS, pastors at churches they are scheduled to speak at, etc. etc. This is in addition to spending countless hours blogging negatively about important topics such as her haircut, facial expressions, rear end, speaking patterns, etc.

I'll be happy to read what you have to say. I just can't go to the other site - it's just too toxic - sorry.

Shea said...

I actually tried to post a comment over at GWoP and it wasn't approved. It wasn't hateful or nasty like most of the comments over there, but it was pro-Gosselin. I find that to be a bit ironic. The comment was something to the effect of "Just curious as to how you all became such experts on marriage, raising 8 children (including sextuplets), other people's financial matters and Christianity. If there is a class or something you took to become so knowledgeable, sign me up!"

So apparently it's only ok to voice your opinion if it's full of anger at a family you DON'T EVEN KNOW but not ok to question the hate. It's a funny, messed up world.

Anya said...

Another example of the never-ending new reasons "to hate Kate Gosselin".

Apparently, they now have a sign up on their front lawn asking strangers (stalkers?) to please respect their privacy. The nerve! The gall!

Also, according to well-placed "neighbors", Kate does not wave at them. This is apparently another outrage.

I did receive this information second hand (I mentioned before not having a stomach for the toxicity of other Gosselin related sites), but it sounds legit.

anya said...

Shea, they aren't interested in having a balanced discussion over at GWoP. Before I started boycotting the site to protect my sanity, I submitted a couple of posts which where never published. Like you, I tried to remember that I was on the "other side" and was outnumbered so I chose my words carefully and did not really call out other posters individually, nevertheless, it apparently didn't meet GWoP's high standards!

It really doesn't matter. The few posters who do get on with an opposite view are quickly shouted down with the group's "talking points."

Guinevere said...

I just saw about the "sign" controversy. What is funny to me is that the GWoPers don't seem to get that they are the problem - the reason that J&K seem to have concerns about their privacy and safety? I made the mistake of clicking on GWoP after hearing about the sign (a mistake on my part - sort of like watching a car wreck when you know you should turn away for your own good). Anyway, my eyes fell on a comment from "Serena", the blog owner, stating knowledgably (in response to the suggestion that the Gosselins don't even live in that house) that they Gosselins had been away on vacation in South Carolina, but that they were back now.

So, "Serena" is keeping track of where the Gosselins are at all times? I cannot even tell you how freaky I find that. If I were J&K, I would seriously consider having a lawyer look into the real identities of some of the more extreme GWoP posters (like the one who is concerned that if the show ends, Kate will "keep the children" from her), and think about restraining orders against these people requiring them to maintain a physical distance from the Gosselin home. There is nothing that can be done, as far as I know, about the internet stalking, but I really think it would behoove them to have some legal remedies in place in case these people decide to escalate their harrassment.

bigsis88 said...

Shea, I have seen comments that pretty much cover the entire love/ hate spectrum of J&K (though I believe very few are actually at either end), but I would bet your comment was rejected because of the "how YOU all..." part. (I capitalized "you" since that's what jumped out at me first. It really doesn't have anything to do with J&K specifically, and though I don't think it's anywhere near vicious, it seems like a personal attack (albeit on a group). I think if you had mentioned a specific, alternate interpretation of something, i.e., "well I think when Kate did blahblahblah it showed blahblahblah..." maybe it would have been published. I know the blog owner says you can email her if you want to know where your comment went, and she also mentioned that they don't edit the comments; sometimes they'll read questionable ones and debate whether the good parts outweigh the bad. I don't speak for any of the GWoP staff at all; I'm just trying to be helpful.