Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Not Sure What To Do Here Folks!

Ok, I admit, I was very very new to all of this Jon and Kate controversy when I started this blog. And I really did want a fair and balanced discussion. I had no idea about the million other message boards that existed out there with people going at each other's throats over the different issues that exist. I had tried to post at another site. I felt my comments were polite and respectful but definitely had a different view than many of the other people that frequented the site. They were never posted. Unless I agreed with something that was already being said. So I started this site. Things were running smoothly until a few days ago when someone posted this blog's web address on another site and "all hell broke loose" in my opinion.


The last comment I received,
Oh GOD, it is (name deleted )...the biggest internet hypocrite of all!She calls herself a Christian and yet talks terribly of other posters. She is a bully and let me tell you, not very smart....right in line with the mentalitly of you sheeple!LOLWhat a site!


and now this one:


Boy, you all are very angry about a blog! Swearing and ranting!
Can you not conduct yourselves civilally? Can you not write a post coherently? Can you not be so mean-spirited?
Guess not!
Pathetic!



has caused me to sit back and ask should we have a policy on what is posted here? I am sure that this is not what I want. People sniping back and forth. People swearing. Fair and balanced. That is what I would like.

What would you all like? The people that want to keep coming back here. Give me some guidance here. Should I reject comments that single another poster out? Comments that have swear words in them? Let me know.

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...this is a tough one.

I want fair and balanced also so I was so happy when I found this site because I am all about positivity and constructive criticism. J&K really bother me but beating them down every doggone day is not helping anyone.

I am no expert, so I won't offer any suggestions. But I wanted to say, please don't get discouraged. I am happy you started this site.

(btw I hate being "anonymous" but don't want to sign up for a Google account.)

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

If you select- Name/URL- you can type in a name you want to use without registering with google. You would just need to type it in everytime you comment.
And thank you!

anya said...

Hi. I think I have told you before how much I appreciate you starting this blog and I think in your attempt to not pursue the practice of other blogs in restricting posts, you have been very generous in posting everything that has been submitted.

I think you can still keep this open policy with just a couple of restrictions. 1) No swearing or individual name calling. We are all adults. There is a way to get your point across and it does not have to include crude language. 2) Any post that basically says "this poster sucks or this blog sucks" with no other content or back-up. It's one thing to discuss and contest each other's posted opinions (even with passion). It's another to just make blanket statements like the two you have highlighted.

As a side note, they are not even interesting posts(I can't figure out 'who' they are even talking about in the first one).

Thanks for asking!

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, personal attacks are childish and ridiculous not to mention discredits the poster.

If it were my blog, I would never post a comment that personally attacked someone else. People need to remember this is a personal blog site, not a board set up to attack others.

As for foul language, is there really a reason to use it when discussing a family with 8 children under the age of 7?

The comments on this blog should be in reference to the actual post, not comments left on GWOP or on Imperfectparent.

Have you ever been to Fansofrealitytv.com? They do not allow any off subject posts and absolutely do not allow personal attacks. They are very strict and adhere to the rules so that conversations are civil while allowing both sides to state their opinions.

Who really takes anyone seriously who name calls and then signs as anonymous?

Ephesians 2:10 said...

[turns other cheek]

I have been posting on Jon & Kate forums ever since the show started. I definately have an opinion on this subject.

I think you should allow posts that are of any opinion, but respectful. I think you should delete posts that attack another poster. This will just turn into a fighting match like most of the other forums out there.

Thanks for defending me Amy!

MCB said...

The folks that came here from GWoP fired the first name calling salvos with "sheeple," "white trash" ect. They obviously cannot handle their investigative tactics being questioned, which is all we were doing until they started posting, here. Contrary to what they think, we're not blind defenders of J&K. We just don't think EVERYTHING they do is wrong. When we don't like something, we post about it. However, they don't (or won't) see that, and think we're a bunch of Gosselin defending fundies. I refuse to be insulted or stereotyped by them. I see it as standing up to the bullies in the school yard. Their tactics are classic. Come over, start a fight, and then when met with resistance, turn and not-so-innocently say, "Why are you being so mean?" I think I've seen that routine on a grade school playground.

I don't think you should worry about it. If something is offensive to you, don't publish it. But don't give in to them. Censoring the blog is doing exactly what they want you to do. They don't want anyone opposing them in their quest to see the show canceled and the family destroyed along with it.

Guinevere said...

My first impulse is to go against the grain and say that you shouldn't moderate comments. First of all, as a practical issue, it's more work for you. Though if you are willing to do it, that's up to you. But then you get into what is acceptable v. what isn't, and it just seems like, "Can open. Worms everywhere", to quote "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".

I don't care about swearing because I'm a bit of a potty mouth myself. I've tried not to use too many bad words here, out of deference to others' sensibilities.

Most of the "haters" posts I've seen have been laughably unsophisticated ad hominem attacks. As has already been stated, they say a lot more about the person who posted them than they do about anyone else. I think we'd all do best to ignore them (advice I myself haven't taken so far, but I can try to do better in the future). People like that simply want attention; they want a fight. If you won't give it to them, they'll go away.

That said, I don't want you to be inundated with really offensive posts and feel obligated to publish them all. I can see that that would be problematic, and affect both the flow of conversation and the sense of civility at this site. From that perspective, I can understand feeling the need to develop some sort of policy on moderation.

Nancy said...

I don't like to see swearing and why would anyone need to swear about a family show?! I don't like sites that allow personal attacks, either. I enjoy coming here when I'm tired of the anger on the other blogs. Please continue keeping this blog nice.

MCB said...

Oh, and one more thing! :)

In the Train episode thread, a few GWoPpers called me a lush, a disgrace and a bad parent, and you know what? I don't care. I know the truth and I'm more than capable of standing up for myself (as you can see), so their immaturity doesn't even bother me. I am actually kinda pleased that I've struck a nerve over there and they're proving that the various comments we've made about them here are true, especially being able to dish it out, but not being able to take it.

Unless they post something that you feel is really filthy and that would offend others, I don't really care. I actually feel sorry for them.

Anonymous said...

MCB

Out of hand.

bigsis88 said...

I agree most with Anon 1:49-especially about posts that are only referencing GWoP or the Imperfect Parent blog. For example, most of the comments about the "All Aboard" episode only talk about what people at GWoP are saying/thinking/assuming. It appears that some people believe the point of the blog is to discuss what others are saying about J&K+8 rather than the show itself, and, quite frankly, those posts are pretty boring. Honestly, if I didn't read the headline of the blog I would think it was called "We Hate GWoP".

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

Guinevere,

I wish I didn't have to moderate but several minutes after your comment was posted I received one that gave out personal information regarding another person that has been posting on this blog. Where she lives,her occupation and where she works. I wouldn't want to be responsible for that information being released here. And she ended her comment with "And, really, do we really need another site?"

Anonymous said...

MCB,
WE dont know that Gwop has posted here as you so. You are acting like a kid, saying they drew first blood. HE HE.

Really, grow up.

Ephesians 2:10 said...

i guess we have nothing better to do, that is stalkerish that someone would post another person's personal info. Thank you for not posting it.

Anonymous said...

mcb -
Someone said, we are all adults here, I am not so sure about you. Your accusations are very childish.
Oh, and I was one of the posters that called you a lush and I don't post on GWOP and I apologize, it wasn't very nice of me.

Anonymous said...

Now you know exactly what the Gosselins are dealing with, the person who emailed the personal info of a poster here is one of the same people stalking the Gosselins. It is sickening. These people are mentally ill and very unstable. Jon and Kate need to hire themselves some bodyguards.

anya said...

"And, really, do we really need another site?"

*****************************

Yes, I think we do. Many of us have recounted our inability to get non Gosselin bashing posts published at another site. It's nice to know there is place where we can air our opinion (keeping it clean, respectful and hopefully balanced) and have a fair chance of being heard.

As for the person who tracked down another poster's personal information and tried to get it published on this site. Please take a good long look at yourself and ask if this is who you want to be. We already have too much of this going on with the tracking down of Gosselin relatives, etc. Just because someone publishes a blog with SOME personal information on it or consents to do a T.V. show that showcases portions of their life, does not give others the moral authority to dig relentlessly into every single personal aspect of their life and then attempt to share it with others for no other reason then to try and hurt them.

Boundaries - they are a good thing. Without them, some of us appear to be on our way to the funny farm....

Anonymous said...

I'm confused, I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. Someone posted personal info about one of your regulars, a defender of J&K, or a GWoP poster who has posted here? Can you clarify?

Linda said...

I think that the reason some posts seem to focus on what is said at the GwoP blog is that GwoP is so heavily moderated/censored. Opposing comments do not get published. Moderating blog comments is within the rights of the blog owner, but I think that is why this site is important.

As far as moderating the comments that are published, I would say that any comments that contain personal information about posters or the Gosselins should not be publishe. Also, any comments that include profanity or name-calling should not be published.

Guinevere said...

I wish I didn't have to moderate but several minutes after your comment was posted I received one that gave out personal information regarding another person that has been posting on this blog. Where she lives,her occupation and where she works. I wouldn't want to be responsible for that information being released here. And she ended her comment with "And, really, do we really need another site?"

Wow. Just wow. It kind of makes me sick to be reminded of how malevolent some of these people are. I'd really like to ask the GWoP posters who are here - are these the sort of people you want to align yourself with? Obviously, whoever did it cannot see that her actions are wrong and creepy, but surely there are other people who can?

I think that the reason some posts seem to focus on what is said at the GwoP blog is that GwoP is so heavily moderated/censored. Opposing comments do not get published. Moderating blog comments is within the rights of the blog owner, but I think that is why this site is important.

I said something similar in another post today. I would be happy to have a conversation with the GWoPpers at GWoP, but the moderators do not apparently want a diversity of opinion (or they try to limit it to make it appear that only a very small percentage of posters like the Gosselins). So that's why you find that people post over here in response to comments made over there.

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

Anon,

Someone posted personal information about someone that recently visited this blog. I am not sure of her affinity.

Former GWoP Fan said...

Unbelievable and so typical. Digging up personal information on other posters, and trying to get that information published. That sounds like a THREAT, actually. "See how powerful we are. Now all of you shut up before we expose ALL OF YOU." I think I saw these kind of strong arm tactics on an episode of The Sopranos. No wonder we don't respect the people at GWoP if this is what they resort to. Is that necessary? Trying to hurt and expose others over a TELEVISION SHOW because they don't agree with you?? That really is all kinds of SICK.

Show of hands. Do any of the regulars that post here go to GWoP and submit name calling or threatening posts? I know I don't. I don't need to stoop to that level. But they sure have no problem doing it here, do they?

Betty said...

Many, many blogs get a lot of nasty, flilthy comments. I have one and so many comments are just terrible. I reject them since no one needs to read them and there is no sense giving people who post like that forum.

I would truly like to find a balanced Gosselin site. I get disturbed that anyone who disagrees with what Jon and Kate gets labelled a hater and told to get a life. I see that they do some things well IMO and other things I truly believe they could do better. But so far I've found no place that has maintained a true balance.

Anonymous said...

former gwop fan: the admin of this blog has said she doesnt know which side of the fence the person whose information was posted is on, so I don't think it is fair state it was someone from GWoP who did that.

Correct me if I am wrong, I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, if you can definitively say it was one side or the other who did that.

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

No I can not definitvely say. However, I can probably safely assume that she is not pro this site because she ended her comment with "And, really, do we really need another site?"

Anonymous said...

Fair enough, even though there ARE a lot of sites discussing this topic. Not knowing the entire context of the message it is hard to say for certain. Unless you can say for sure the personal info posted was supposed to be directly linked to a certain commenter, and then go by the tone of that commenters posts to see which side they fall on, no one posting here should assume anything.

I just can't see by your unspecific statement that you received "one that gave out personal information regarding another person that has been posting on this blog. Where she lives,her occupation and where she works. I wouldn't want to be responsible for that information being released here. And she ended her comment with "And, really, do we really need another site?" how anyone could assume it necessarily came from a GWoP'er.

Former GWoP Fan said...

You're just going to have to take the word of the board moderator and I think she's been quite clear. The author is someone who doesn't like that this site exists. Period. MAYBE not a GWoP poster, but who else would feel so threatened by anything written here?

It sounds like you want "proof," but the only way to get it is to either give the horrible person that sent the post the attention she craves, or expose the personal information of her victim. Neither is acceptable, IMO.

I suggest that if anyone tries strong arm tactics like that again, or makes threats against another poster, that a copy of the post be forwarded to the author's ISP. If the author is a member of Blogger, report them. Stalking and threatening behavior should never have to be tolerated by the moderator.

All this over a TV show. Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

"You're just going to have to take the word of the board moderator and I think she's been quite clear. The author is someone who doesn't like that this site exists. Period."

Actually, she said herself, she 'safely assumes', which I responded to HER, fair enough.

Period.

JessieTYCG said...

Wow! I'm gone for one day and I missed all the excitement! Reason #42 why I hate annual Ob/Gyn appointments. LOL!

I am so sorry to hear about all the grief that you are getting. Someone who is interested in fairness, certainly does not deserve to be treated unfairly. I applaud your commitment to keep an open and balanced dialog going on a topic that obviously evokes passion on both sides of the argument.

In a society where peaceful coexistence is possible between Democrats and Republicans, Christians and Atheists and even Flavor Flav and intelligent, tasteful women; then certainly it is possible for both blogs to find harmony.

I would like to see the lines of communication left open within the context of RESPECTFULLY disagreeing when necessary. Either that or we can start a really scandalous slam book and write snarky things about GWOP on the girl's bathroom stalls. Your call. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Former GWOP Fan said:
All this over a TV show. Pathetic.

Aren't you the one that was part of some secret group over at GWOP?
Pathetic.

Guinevere said...

No, it wouldn't be fair to draw concrete conclusions without evidence (though I find it kind of ironic, since that is the foundation on which GWoP is built). I do think that the fact that a number of GWoPpers have an admitted history of cyberstalking makes one of them the likely culprit. Whoever did it is a sick person, wherever they came from and whatever their motivation was.

Anonymous said...

wow - so basically, although you can't believe everything you read on the internet, you would misconstrue the admins statement to perpetuate a rumor and want to have people believe something that was never written on the internet? Interesting.

Anonymous said...

All of you must know that this goes both ways. I was viciously attacked on another blog awhile back by a very strong Gosselin FAN. It was worse than anything I've seen any of those you call "haters" do on these blogs. I even called the police because of this attack. The owners of this blog did nothing because of freedom of speech. Police said the person was dangerous and wrong.

It is not only the "haters" who are acting in the manners you claim but also the fans, they are worse at times.

Anonymous said...

I'm not quite sure what to say about it. I do know that the anti-Gosselins folks are getting rediculous with their accusations. I have tried to respond to what they have on their blog many times, but they were always rejected. It seems that if you do not have the same opinions as them then too bad, so sad! Maybe we should make this a positive blog site without their negativity. I would just edit out their negative comments with a heavy hand like they do our positive comments on their site. Maybe keep a few of them as long as they have atleast one good thing to say. Isn't that what they do at GWOP? Except you have to have atleast one NEGATIVE comment over there.I have even seen people at GWOP compare her to OJ SIMPSON!!! Nothing Jon and Kate do will ever please them. They never seem to miss an episode either. They give them lots of ratings, so who cares! They can keep watching, so the rest of us know it will stay on the air with all the rating they give!

anya said...

"It is not only the "haters" who are acting in the manners you claim but also the fans, they are worse at times."
******************************
In the huge world of cyperspace, I have no doubt there are crazys on both side of the aisle. The sad fact is there are many people on the intranet that are mentally a little unbalanced and also have a lot of time on their hands. That can make for a dangerous combination. And, again, I certainly think it would be foolish to think that all the "sane" people are on our side and the "crazys" on the other. It's too simplistic.

That said, I think a general mentality can develop on these type of sites of what is acceptable and what is not. I personally don't like what I see accepted at the other site. For this site, I was initally attracted to the premise of a more balanced discussion. And while there may be some bumps on the road, I think the majority of people I have seen on this site are interested in something similar.

I am sorry for your negative experience in the past. As one who values my privacy (I love talking with you all, but need boundaries), I would find this very upsetting. My best to you.

Anya

Guinevere said...

All of you must know that this goes both ways. I was viciously attacked on another blog awhile back by a very strong Gosselin FAN. It was worse than anything I've seen any of those you call "haters" do on these blogs. I even called the police because of this attack. The owners of this blog did nothing because of freedom of speech. Police said the person was dangerous and wrong.

Might I ask what was said? I can't imagine anyone saying something to me online that would have me calling the police; it must have been a doozy.

It is not only the "haters" who are acting in the manners you claim but also the fans, they are worse at times.

I've heard variations on this before. I can only go by what I've personally seen on the sites I've visited. Admittedly, I'm not unbiased, but I can honestly say I have never seen a Gosselin supporter be anything more than mildly obnoxious on any board, and that very rarely. I'm not saying it hasn't happened; I just haven't seen it.

It's been said over and over, but I really feel that most of the "fans' here, anyway, are fair-minded people simply interested in a balanced discussion. You want to say that Kate's a control freak? Have at it, and I, for one, won't disagree with you. You want to say that Kate doesn't love her kids, or compare her to a woman who murdered her children - that's where I start to have a problem and find it difficult to even have a discussion, because your reality and mine are so far apart.

MCB said...

I think there are bad fans wherever you go and GWoP has its share (acknowledging that seems to be a problem for them, though). I think that the person that was targeted by last night's unpublished blog entry sent to the mod, MIGHT think differently than you do, as far as which side is worse, but it goes both ways. What happened to you and what happened with that blog entry last night crosses the line. It's about your personal space being violated. Posting comments back and forth is one thing. No one really gets hurt by that. Pissed or offended, maybe, but not violated or hurt. The people harassing posters AWAY from the blog, doing People Searches to find their home addresses and going the step beyond which requires police involvement, cross a whole new line into Crazytown.

I know one thing. All I do is comment. I don't investigate fellow posters or try to find out where they live, or plot revenge against them because they don't agree with me. People have posted rude comments towards me the past two days and that's okay. I know I haven't done a thing to them, except post something they evidently don't agree with. I haven't tried to find out who they are, or visited their site, hell bent on revenge. Why bother. It takes up too much time and energy. I don't visit sites I hate. I know I'm clean in all this. What you see is what you get.

If I were Jon and Kate, and see the vitriol that's out there, I'd be hiring a body guard. Sit his big ol' butt right on the front stoop and have him smile and wave to the people passing by taking pictures (while he simultaneously takes down their license plate numbers). Maybe also get a Rottweiler, although he'd have to be a non-shedding one that is totally housebroken or Kate would freak out.

Anonymous said...

I hope this isn't cheesy, BUT I found this on a facebook group. The Gosselin haters have a petition to get the show off the air, but these people made one to keep it on the air. Just thought I would share it....we should all sign it....

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/do-not-cancel-jon-kate-plus-8

Found this one too...
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/184/petition-to-keep-jon-kate-plus-8-on-tlc

Anonymous said...

Guinevere,

Oh yea, it happens big time on IMP! Those women who claim to be great Christians will get their whole gang of buddies on you. They are ruthless. And you know what, the moderator over let's it go. It is so out of control over there you can barely read it. People writing in all CAPS, all lowercase, no punctuation. They are like rabid dogs. (so I can understand why someone is annoyed with a poster that writes lazily)
Maybe they feel if you can't bother why should they?
I don't think this site is different on original. It is just a new place for people to bitch. Not worth the time IMO.

Anonymous said...

Laughing cuz it is true. And because you will probably do it!

COFFEELOVER

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

Anon 10:21 am

I posted your comment, however I don't believe signing a petition is necessary. Of course I am not discouraging other people from doing so. It all comes down to supply and demand. As long as people watch the show, TLC will air it.

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

To Anon 10:25 AM,
Then please leave. If you are the one that keeps sending me personal information about other posters, then please stop. I will be moderating all comments so there is not a chance in hell that your game is going to be played here! To all others that enjoy reading and posting here, there will be days when your comments might take a few hours to post until I can find someone to assist. Thank you,

Sharla said...

Admittedly, I'm not unbiased, but I can honestly say I have never seen a Gosselin supporter be anything more than mildly obnoxious on any board, and that very rarely. I'm not saying it hasn't happened; I just haven't seen it.

You shouldn't see it get posted on GWoP, but trust me it gets attempted. We get some of the nastiest, most vile, and yes even threatening emails and attempts at comments that you wouldn't like to see. The crazy swings both ways. BTW, when I mod I reject all the fringy, crazy comments both pro and con. There are some scary people out there.

Guinevere said...

I've only been to IMP a few times, in the days after the TWoP thread closed. It doesn't really seem like "my type of place", but I don't recall that what I read was extreme (either pro or con Gosselin). I mostly just appreciated that it was a respite from the sea of craziness that was the TWoP site.

I know that this is the sort of thing that could go back and forth endlessly, but it does seem silly to post on this site only to say, "This site is boring, pointless, I don't know why anyone bothers with it", etc. At least I can say I find the GWoP site entertaining, in a manner of speaking. Posting just to tell people that this site is "not worth your time" just seems to be...a further waste of your time. But maybe I'm missing something.

MCB said...

To Anon 10:25 AM,
Then please leave. If you are the one that keeps sending me personal information about other posters, then please stop. I will be moderating all comments so there is not a chance in hell that your game is going to be played here!


ROCK ON!

So, it seems that you have gotten more than one? Unbelievable. Can you report the harassment to her ISP?

Anonymous said...

The mods just came about...and they are the owners favs....they are always sending her sickening praises. I think it is a little to worshippy. She likes to fawned over. And I do know that one of the mods has been involved in her own kind of meaness.
The owner does very little to control the other site...but there is one poster who goes back and forth and stirs the pot...talking about the other posts, like talking behind someone's back.
You are right there have been alot of sock puppets, makes it not worth reading. Then again, I know there have been some accused, because the owner has her own secret identity, not too many people know that. And she likes to bully and beat up certain posters.
But the common thread is meaness and raving and I see that here.
I do not see that at GWoP. Call it censoring comments, or just good judgement, I would rather read there than here.
BTW, I care about reading a nicely written post. I am sure you have come across plenty that are just a string of words, exclamation points and CAPS. Who wants to read that? No Grandmas here...

Jen

Anonymous said...

Reading through many posts here I know exactly why it was a relief to the moderators at twop to have the Jon and Kate thread shut down. You people are a part of the craziness that comes out when the name Gosselins appears in print.:(
You are definitely in need of a prayer chain.

Jennifer said...

At this point, we are beating I dead horse I do believe. If people like to post here then let them. If people want to post at GWOP then let them. If people want to post at both sites then let them. But why are we attacking each other over a TV show??? Ultimately, that's what this is, a TV show. I don't see how name calling, personal attacks and trying to verbally bash people is helping or healthy ... for anyone. I say if anyone posts something that is considered rude, negative, name calling, etc that it just is IGNORED. I doubt people will keeping posting garbage if it never gets acknowledged.

Ruffian said...

Guinevere said...
I do think that the fact that a number of GWoPpers have an admitted history of cyberstalking makes one of them the likely culprit. Whoever did it is a sick person, wherever they came from and whatever their motivation was.

I'm shocked. Firstly that someone would do cyberstalking, and secondly, that someone would admit cyberstalking. Can you tell me where you saw this? I've always been nervous about CS.
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

amy marie bullman:

The IMP blog was way out of hand long before you joined it and long before they installed mods. As I said I was cyberbullied to the point of having to call the police and that was on the "good" board.

Jen:

Why not let us know what "J's", (the owner) of that blogs secret ID is, it is only fair and would probably stop a lot of problems.

For others:

For me and only me, some problems would halt if others will just stop and let me have my own opinions about the show, There are three of us in this family who all feel the same way and I will not be told I am stupid and ignorant because I do not feel the same way as the others and love Kate. I do not hate her but I do not love her. My opinions are different, not wrong. That is the main issue that I see that I have had problems with. .

Anonymous said...

Amy marie bullman said:
"without fail, the one blog that is in disagreeance with EVERYTHING kate does, always has posters that engage in a sock puppet show for their own unearthly pleasure! it's those that come on with multiple screen names trying to fool others and "back" themselves up!"

AMY - wasn't that a Kate "supporter" who had 12 or so different screen names on the Imerfectparent blog? The moderators caught this person by identifying their IP number. I am not sure if they can ban posters but they didn't. This person would continually attack anyone who was not a "supporter". Her attacks were personal and were allowed to continue until she blew it big time by posting one comment without finishing it and then posted the exact same one with another user name. The Mods caught this and I applaud them for doing so. But, the moderators are not objective at all, they are part of a little club over there that consists of a core group of about 5 led by a wiry old woman. "Grandma" can be sweet as pie to anyone who agrees with her, but if you don't she will call you every name in the book. The funniest part is she calls herself a Christian woman, HA!

Anonymous said:
"The owner does very little to control the other site...but there is one poster who goes back and forth and stirs the pot...talking about the other posts, like talking behind someone's back."

I am sure you are referring to Grandma, she' a mean spirited woman who stirs the pot as long as her groupies come to her rescue.

Some of the "groupies" pretend to be neutral but if you call them out on something, they can't handle it and get off.

I have always wondered why the owner of the Imperfectblog welcomes the disgusting banter on her blog. Do they get paid for the amount of comments left on their site? Or do the advertisers pay as long as people are logging on? Not sure how it works. I always thought a blog was a personal site and people were invited to comment on the subject that is posted, not use it as some type of forum for personal gatherings.

I hope you don't allow for little "clubs" over here like at the Imperfectparent that bully people off the site. Personal attacks should never be allowed and I agree with the poster who said that swearing has no place where the discussion is about children. It is just plain tacky.

I have one last question. Do you have the capability of banning posters? It must be awful to have to read through filth only to have to delete. It seems like such a waste of time.

Guinevere said...

You shouldn't see it get posted on GWoP, but trust me it gets attempted. We get some of the nastiest, most vile, and yes even threatening emails and attempts at comments that you wouldn't like to see. The crazy swings both ways. BTW, when I mod I reject all the fringy, crazy comments both pro and con. There are some scary people out there.

Since you're here, would you address the moderating policy over at GWoP? It seems to have been the experience of a number of posters here that they had perfectly civil posts rejected, presumably for being insufficiently anti-Gosselin.

Also, want to give your side on the super seekrit board that makes fun of the Gosselin kids' appearances?

I'm shocked. Firstly that someone would do cyberstalking, and secondly, that someone would admit cyberstalking. Can you tell me where you saw this? I've always been nervous about CS.

A couple of examples off of the top of my head: I know I've seen discussion at GWoP about some posters' wishes that the Gosselins' home address be published. Just yesterday, there wa a poster commenting on the fact that Kate's mother's picture and bio had been taken off of the website of the company she works for, meaning that poster had tracked down this woman at her place of employment...to what purpose? It just boggles my mind.

Posters have bragged about calling the churches the Gosselins are scheduled to speak at in order to try to get the speaking engagements canceled. Posters have driven by the Gosselins' house and taken pictures, which they have then posted on GWoP. The moderator who goes by "Serena" has made it clear that she is knowledgable about the Gosselins' whereabouts at any given time (whether they are in Hawaii, at home, in S. Carolina or N. Carolina or whatever Carolina they are supposedly moving to). I don't know about you, but I find that hella creepy (on a side note, the time I have spent discussing this show and the reaction of some viewers has increased my use of the word "creepy" about 1000x).

There are plenty of other examples of inappropriate behavior that these people have discussed openly.

For me and only me, some problems would halt if others will just stop and let me have my own opinions about the show, There are three of us in this family who all feel the same way and I will not be told I am stupid and ignorant because I do not feel the same way as the others and love Kate.

I feel like I'm missing something. How is anyone not letting you have your opinions about the show? Everyone is free to have their opinion, and if they express it out loud, others are free to disagree. Freedom to express an opinion does not equal freedom from having others disagree. That seems to be something that confuses a lot of people on the Internet.

As for being told that you're stupid and ignorant...I have not seen anyone here say that, about you or anyone else who doesn't like Kate Gosselin. I like Kate, but I get why people don't. I don't think people are stupid or ignorant for disliking Kate. I think people are nutty and crazy for trying to ruin her life, and to a lesser degree, for posting hyperbolic crap (e.g. comparing her to OJ Simpson) about her. If you're not doing that, then I, for one, have no problem with you.

bigsis88 said...

"... but it does seem silly to post on this site only to say, "This site is boring, pointless, I don't know why anyone bothers with it", etc."

I agree, and I think posts like that shouldn't be published, simply because they add nothing to the discussion, which is the point of this blog, yes?

"I say if anyone posts something that is considered rude, negative, name calling, etc that it just is IGNORED."

I would take that a step further and say comments that contain any of the above shouldn't be posted at all. Then those posters can either find something useful to say or find another blog. Overall I think the key to moderating is publishing comments that fulfill the purpose of the blog and rejecting those that don't.

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

Thank you Bigsis88 and everyone else for your suggestions. Manda, I will post your comment tomorrow. I need to have a chance to read throught it and be the one to respond to it since it is addressed to me before I post it.

Manda said...

Since you're here, would you address the moderating policy over at GWoP? It seems to have been the experience of a number of posters here that they had perfectly civil posts rejected, presumably for being insufficiently anti-Gosselin.

I'm not Sharla, but I posted a very succint explanation to this today that would have cleared up much of this confusion but your admin here chose not to publish it.

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

I think I just addressed that.

Manda said...

"Thank you Bigsis88 and everyone else for your suggestions. Manda, I will post your comment tomorrow. I need to have a chance to read throught it and be the one to respond to it since it is addressed to me before I post it."

Thank you. In that case, you can ignore my comment just prior to this one if you wish.

I GUESS WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO said...

Manda,
Do you represent GWoP?

Manda said...

I am not one of the administrators of the blog. I have on occasion submitted recaps and comments (and comments that have been REJECTED, thank you very much). I do know a couple of the editors and administrators there and they saw my comment I sent to you before I submitted it to you and by the feedback I received were in full support of it.

Sharla said...

Last night I posted another "why my comment got rejected" thread on GWoP. Serena added a few more to the list. Oh, and BTW, if anyone does see a request on there or someone stating that they are contacting the IRS or something similar, please let me know. I'll gladly remove it. I don't remember anything like that going through, but then thankfully I don't see every comment.

Sharla said...

I don't know of a board whose purpose is to make fun of the children.

Anonymous said...

Sharla- I tried to post a comment of Facts that I knew because of my job. It was rejected, I believe only because it contradicted what Serena already wrote when it came to the logistics of filming...I simply wrote "I know for a fact that they didn't retake anything at Thomas. I also know they arrived shortly after the train station opens (10AM) and left right before lunch.

I don't know but the only reason I can see that being rejected was because it didn't agree completely with Serena?? I have no problem with GWoP, I don't post often. But I do not appreciate it if it's true that it's screened to be only Anti-Gosselin, or Pro-Serena.

Sharla said...

I tried to post a comment of Facts that I knew because of my job. It was rejected, I believe only because it contradicted what Serena already wrote when it came to the logistics of filming...I simply wrote "I know for a fact that they didn't retake anything at Thomas. I also know they arrived shortly after the train station opens (10AM) and left right before lunch.

If that is all that was in your comment, I don't know why it didn't go through. It might have helped to say I was working there and saw....

If it was in response to an answer in the question and answer thread, there's the answer. In that thread it was decided not to allow comments on the answers to keep it neat. You could, however, submit it to the episode thread.

That's my only suggestion there. I expect it would be tough to do retakes of train rides certainly.

We do have several mods and we each see things our own way. What one of us can see as fine and inoffensive, others can see another way. I'm tough on profanity and others don't even blink at it. That's just being different people.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sharla - Im curious why there is this great secrecy of the commentators other internet identities? Many of us remember Pressi from the TWOP and imperfect parent sites. How come the cloak on GWOP? Is it that too many people know what she is really up to so you have to pretend she isnt on your "staff"

Anonymous said...

Sharla without playing word games, maybe you could address the question of the secret board. Do you approve of the listing of private names/addresses of members of J&Ks family? Maybe you could explain the real purpose for giving out the personal contact info of family members if it wasnt for those GWOPers reading it to contact the family.

Sharla said...

y Sharla - Im curious why there is this great secrecy of the commentators other internet identities? Many of us remember Pressi from the TWOP and imperfect parent sites. How come the cloak on GWOP? Is it that too many people know what she is really up to so you have to pretend she isnt on your "staff"

Just checked the list and Preesi is not a board admin. We allow people to comment anonymously since people can pick any name they want just as they do here. Preesi or anyone could be commenting as Little Bo Peep if she or they wanted.

Amy said...

i understand and appreciate your mission! i will have to sleep on this question though...

i think you are fair in that you want civil and balanced discussions, it's much more peaceful. i can, without a doubt, say that you should NOT accept comments that include outright foul language...however, that is JMO.

you are right, other blogs can tear ppl apart with name calling and personal assualts. i appreciate and enjoy courteous "debates" with others.

we are all passionate ppl with diverse opinions and it is greatly appreciated if personal attacks are withheld! it speaks VOLUMES about what type of person they truly are!

as for the comment about Ephesians...that is certainly an exxageration IMO. once again, someone that respectfully states her opinion. i just want to challenge the person that said that... please offer some "proof" where she has "bullied" anyone.


have a great day!!!

Amy said...

man, oh man...

to the author...does it bother you that i don't capitalize certain words? let me get to my point.

i just recently posted a comment on GWOP (my second ever) and it wasn't published.

the author of this particular post "serena" (seems she's the MAIN author most of the time) discusses the "scripting" of the show...

she prolaims that the producers of the show call the shots and don't do much to appease the G's. they have their own agenda, whether it's conducive to the kids needs or not, the producers move right along!

she goes on to say that the family "constantly" receives instruction from the crew and are navigated in and out of scenes. oh, and the kids WAIT in the car until camera crew is ready to shoot! hhhmmm....

ok, so my response was short, sweet and sincerely inquisitive...

i said: "how do you know all of this? are you there when they are filming? just curious...really"

so, after i wrote that, i went on to read the next post and how they filter their comments.

i can assume one of two things...it's b/c my writing isn't capitalized appropriately or they didn't like my response...i choose to believe the latter of the two

Amy said...

anonymous"...well there are so many, but i'm talking to the one that brought up the IMP site!

since you brought it up...you know what is consistently funny about the IMP site?

well, for a little background there are 2 blogs within that site. one is pro-kate (not blind-support fans, just believers, if you will) and the other is for those that are in discord with kate or the show (mostly kate).

without fail, the one blog that is in disagreeance with EVERYTHING kate does, always has posters that engage in a sock puppet show for their own unearthly pleasure! it's those that come on with multiple screen names trying to fool others and "back" themselves up!

in my experience on IMP, i have yet to find a civil, coherent, rational pro-kate poster to be "called out" by the creator of that blog.

and, i must say, that if things get out of hand, not only does the owner of the blog get things back in order... BUT there are 3 mods that do their best to do the same!

and, yes, i guess i'm a lazy typer...but who the HECK cares? can you read what i'm writing? are there any mispelled words?

Amy said...

jen-

thanks for your response...i do agree with you on some things!

the mods did just come about b/c some posters were getting out of hand with the abusive namecalling (which i hate)! i still can't wrap my mind around why ppl would resort to that over this show???

as far as your defense of GWOP...i do, however, believe that GWOP is nothing much more than fabricated rumors, cyberstalkers, hypocrisy...i could go on.

stuff like that turns my stomach! i'd rather discuss the show fairly and hope that we can do that here.

p.s. i thought this blogsite wasn't worth your time...although, i do appreciate your response :)

Amy said...

when i brought up the IMP blog, referencing posters that would partake in a sock puppet show...i was also referring to the 12-different-name-poster, b/c what i said was-

"in my experience on IMP, i have yet to find a civil, coherent, rational pro-kate poster to be "called out" by the creator of that blog."

LOL...but civil, coherent and rational did not pertain to this particular poster...she was out of control!

was it the IMP blog that someone was so harrased they had to call the police? yea, that was probably before my time! that is certainly uncalled for!

ppl need to blog with caution...(like i have room to speak, i have my FULL name on here...i registered months ago to start my own blog, that i haven't begun yet, for friends and fam and just haven't changed it...prob should!)

i have never and will never personally assualt someone or let a "debate" get out of hand. what is the point in that? if someone will stoop that low on a computer, what are they really like in real life? ***scary***