As an expectant adoptive mother, I'm behind anyone who wants to adopt a baby. But thinking back to when I was looking at international adoption, I think Korea's gov. doesn't let someone with more than three children adopt from their country...I'll check on that...
http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/c79edbd86c517a1d852569c800702556/5ca5aff2818a12ae852574b800465d20?OpenDocument it's actually four children in the home.
I think it is good that the Gosselins plan to adopt because that will hopefully bring some wonderful attention to the adoption process. I am always for people adopting, and hope that as a result of this show more people will consider adoption. I must say, though, Jon and Kate seem pretty frazzled with the crew they have now. I hope they at least wait a while before they adopt!
I think its ind of surprising that they want another baby- but I think that anyone who adopts a child and raises that child as their own, rescuing them from what would certainly be a difficult life, absolutley deserves the utmost respect.
I'm sure that many of their critics will claim that it's for publicity/to extend the life of the show bc the tups will be in kindergarten soon and that this is their way of keeping it all going. Or that they have 8 kids already and to take on another is irresponsible. I do hope that their more vocal critics will realize that this is none of their business.
What do I think of them adopting a baby from Korea? I think it won't happen because their family is already larger than allowed. What do I think about them adopting a child some other way? Kate claims exhaustion from raising the children she already has; it would be illogical to add more children. Eight is enough.
I think Kate has said that she would like to know what it is like to have just one baby, and I can understand that. I can imagine that with having two sets of multiples, a person is trying so hard just to keep everything going that he/she misses out on a lot of little moments that come with a baby.
If I were in their place, I would want to wait until all eight kids were in school full-time before I considered adopting an infant.
I tend to agree with the folks who think waiting a bit might be a better idea. I think (and this is just conjecture) that Kate is struggling a bit with her babies growing up. Very understandable. Wait a year or two and see if the desire is still there.
I also think considering adopting an older child would be beneficial in terms of raising awareness that there are many more older children (not just infants) available for adoption. That said, I understand the desire to have the child bond with their already large family.
All this is just my opinion. I would not presume to tell them what to do. It's their life.
I'm for adoption but I think Jon and Kate are crazy for wanting to adopt just one more baby now. I think it would be smart of them to wait until the 6 are in school full time and the show is over. Imo!
I was more than shocked. I really thought it was just a rumor. Kate always talks about how exhausted she is and how much work it is taking care of the ones they have. As they grow, parts of it get easier, but it's always busy busy. One part of my mom side, thinks she's absolutely nuts. The other side of me goes “oh, another little baby”. I'd be putting about 10 – 15 years between tups and a new child. Especially, if she wants to know what it's like to have just one. There's no reason to rush. They've already got their hands full with kids and their other activities.
I think adoption is wonderful. I'm a total advocate, but I'm not quite sure if its a great idea for the Gosselins. 8 children is a lot of kids to take care of and I wonder if another child would be a good thing for them. I'm sure if they do adopt that baby will def. be loved.
I understand their desire to know what ONE child is like but it's a sad fact that they'll never have that experience. They have eight right now and one more will mean 9 children to love, to nurture, to spend time with, etc. I'm going with Joe Maddon's School of Thought... 1=9, not 1=1. There might be only one infant but that doesn't mean they're only raising one child.
Those children need more attention than they're receiving and the thought of adding another child makes me very, very sad for the eight. I'm not saying J&K are bad parents so please don't jump on me. It's just impossible for two adults to spend enough quality time with eight children when they're only given 24 hours a day. If we were all blessed with 48 hour days I might feel differently.
SamanthaNC, I am vocalizing my criticism/concern. People who disagree with a Gosselin adoption deserve to have their voices heard. This post asks for opinions and just because mine doesn't correspond with yours doesn't mean you have the right to say it doesn't matter. Your thoughts are no more important than mine. It's no more your "business" than it is mine. It's so maddening that you automatically dismiss an opinion that you don't agree with and label it as being insignificant. I am respecting your opinion and you should do the same.
Jess, Thanks for your well thought out comment. It adds to the discussion. I do want to state, though, that Samantha's comments were not directed at anyone. I don't think she meant to imply that opposing opinions were less important than her opinion.
I am not trying to speak for her, but I want to avoid this thread turning into a war between two people. A debate between two people is fine but I can see this might get personal.
See, now that's why I post here! I also read samanthanc's comment as Jess did, but then I guessed that maybe I was reading it too strongly, and I posted my true opinion anyway (see a few posts up.) Afterall, the thread opens with a request for opinions. Surely, I thought, they want more than one idea here! I've posted an opposing viewpoint lots of time over the past weeks, and I have been received well. I have learned a lot about Internet posting, though. It's hard to control interpretations when you are not conveying meaning with your tone of voice or gestures and expressions. But the moderators here keep things as calm as possible on the web. Thank you, moderators!
I was really surprised when I read that Kate said she wanted to adopt. If I remember right, she mentioned she wanted to know what it is like to have just one. Not the right motivation in my mind for adoption.
I think Kate is showing the first signs of empty nest syndrome. The 'tups will be in kindergarten next year and the twins are in full day school. She's probably panicking at the thought of the empty house and is wishing for something to fill the void she thinks will be there. I mean, imagine the adjustment. She's been caring for six babies and two older kids for four years, and suddenly, they'll be gone for part of the day. It hasn't dawned on her yet that having some free time in a quiet house is a GOOD thing.
Unless they can swing a private adoption through a lawyer, I doubt they'll be able to get one anyway. Sounds like Kate is just wishing out loud at this point.
I don't think it's the greatest idea for them to adopt in the near future, but obviously, it's not up to me. I'm sure their hearts are in the right places. I do kind of understand the "wanting to know what it's like to raise just one" thing, because I think Kate feels she missed out on being able to focus on one child at a time going through various stages - first step, first word, etc. I also think she is one of those people who really likes babies. I'm sure she likes kids and obviously she loves her kids, but I think she really, really likes babies.
I'm not sure that their lives could get *that* much more chaotic, but I think in fairness to the kids they have (especially the twins, who are always in danger of getting short shrift, if not from J&K, just in general because they're older and they aren't part of the sextuplet phenomenom), it's probably better to wait. J&K are young still. If they really wanted to, they could raise a whole 'nother family when their kids get older.
Thank you NMD you are exactly right, I in no way meant to offend Jess or anyone else. When I said "vocal" I meant overly harsh, bc as we all know there are people who hatefully critique every move the Gosselins make, from Kate's hair to Jon's hair plugs, so you can imagine the hayday they could have with something as signifigant as an adoption, (and yes I think we all know I'm referring mainly to gwop). I'm not dismissing anyone's opinion I just hope that the criticism of their decision can be kept civil, that's all. Again thanks NMD bc I certainly was not implying that a differing opinion is less important than mine.
If I were a friend of Kate's, I would suggest that perhaps they wait until the tups are in at least 1st grade before they adopt. They definitely can afford another child, but they have their hands full right now with 8. When the kids are older, J+K will have more time to devote to the baby. They couldn't morally prevent having twins and then sextuplets, but they can prevent bringing another child into the mix before they can devote the time to them. I think it would only be fair to the baby.
They will also have to find a family who is willing to give them a child, because private adoption is the only way I can see them being able to adopt. That could take some time (unless there's a crazy fan out there that sees them for their tv show and not who they are as people and parents).
I will say this though... if they do adopt a baby from Korea, whatever they experience growing up in a family with 8 other siblings, jon and kate as parents, the spotlight, etc is FAAARRRRR better than whatever life they would lead in an orphanage in Korea.
I think that if they really want to adopt and experience having "just one", they need to logically wait until the tups are in college and no longer living at home. Then, Jon and Kate can have the experience they want to have. They'll be how old in 13.5 years? Still plenty young enough to parent one child!
If Kate has the urge to spend time with babies, she should volunteer to help at a local NICU, or find new moms through her church that would like a break for a few hours, and help them out.
I'm all for adoption if it would benefit the child, but I am not so sure that any foreign country is going to see the Gosselins as better than an orphanage.
Especially with the new Hague Convention rules about working to place an orphan in his/her country of origin first, then allowing international adoption, Jon and Kate are flat out of luck on this issue.
25 comments:
As an expectant adoptive mother, I'm behind anyone who wants to adopt a baby. But thinking back to when I was looking at international adoption, I think Korea's gov. doesn't let someone with more than three children adopt from their country...I'll check on that...
http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/c79edbd86c517a1d852569c800702556/5ca5aff2818a12ae852574b800465d20?OpenDocument it's actually four children in the home.
I think it is good that the Gosselins plan to adopt because that will hopefully bring some wonderful attention to the adoption process. I am always for people adopting, and hope that as a result of this show more people will consider adoption. I must say, though, Jon and Kate seem pretty frazzled with the crew they have now. I hope they at least wait a while before they adopt!
I don't think there is an issue here - didn't Kate admit in the GH article that they're over the limit that is allowed by that government?
I think its ind of surprising that they want another baby- but I think that anyone who adopts a child and raises that child as their own, rescuing them from what would certainly be a difficult life, absolutley deserves the utmost respect.
I'm sure that many of their critics will claim that it's for publicity/to extend the life of the show bc the tups will be in kindergarten soon and that this is their way of keeping it all going.
Or that they have 8 kids already and to take on another is irresponsible. I do hope that their more vocal critics will realize that this is none of their business.
What do I think of them adopting a baby from Korea? I think it won't happen because their family is already larger than allowed.
What do I think about them adopting a child some other way? Kate claims exhaustion from raising the children she already has; it would be illogical to add more children. Eight is enough.
I think Kate has said that she would like to know what it is like to have just one baby, and I can understand that. I can imagine that with having two sets of multiples, a person is trying so hard just to keep everything going that he/she misses out on a lot of little moments that come with a baby.
If I were in their place, I would want to wait until all eight kids were in school full-time before I considered adopting an infant.
I tend to agree with the folks who think waiting a bit might be a better idea. I think (and this is just conjecture) that Kate is struggling a bit with her babies growing up. Very understandable. Wait a year or two and see if the desire is still there.
I also think considering adopting an older child would be beneficial in terms of raising awareness that there are many more older children (not just infants) available for adoption. That said, I understand the desire to have the child bond with their already large family.
All this is just my opinion. I would not presume to tell them what to do. It's their life.
I'm for adoption but I think Jon and Kate are crazy for wanting to adopt just one more baby now. I think it would be smart of them to wait until the 6 are in school full time and the show is over. Imo!
I was more than shocked. I really thought it was just a rumor. Kate always talks about how exhausted she is and how much work it is taking care of the ones they have. As they grow, parts of it get easier, but it's always busy busy. One part of my mom side, thinks she's absolutely nuts. The other side of me goes “oh, another little baby”. I'd be putting about 10 – 15 years between tups and a new child. Especially, if she wants to know what it's like to have just one. There's no reason to rush. They've already got their hands full with kids and their other activities.
I don't really understand Kate's comments about seeing what it's like with "just one." It's not like if they adopt a child the other 8 will disappear.
I think adoption is wonderful. I'm a total advocate, but I'm not quite sure if its a great idea for the Gosselins. 8 children is a lot of kids to take care of and I wonder if another child would be a good thing for them. I'm sure if they do adopt that baby will def. be loved.
Um, No!
I think their hands are sufficently full.
It looks suspicious to me. It looks like they are trying to extend the life of the show...to "up the cuteness factor."
I understand their desire to know what ONE child is like but it's a sad fact that they'll never have that experience. They have eight right now and one more will mean 9 children to love, to nurture, to spend time with, etc. I'm going with Joe Maddon's School of Thought... 1=9, not 1=1. There might be only one infant but that doesn't mean they're only raising one child.
Those children need more attention than they're receiving and the thought of adding another child makes me very, very sad for the eight. I'm not saying J&K are bad parents so please don't jump on me. It's just impossible for two adults to spend enough quality time with eight children when they're only given 24 hours a day. If we were all blessed with 48 hour days I might feel differently.
SamanthaNC, I am vocalizing my criticism/concern. People who disagree with a Gosselin adoption deserve to have their voices heard. This post asks for opinions and just because mine doesn't correspond with yours doesn't mean you have the right to say it doesn't matter. Your thoughts are no more important than mine. It's no more your "business" than it is mine. It's so maddening that you automatically dismiss an opinion that you don't agree with and label it as being insignificant. I am respecting your opinion and you should do the same.
Jess,
Thanks for your well thought out comment. It adds to the discussion. I do want to state, though, that Samantha's comments were not directed at anyone. I don't think she meant to imply that opposing opinions were less important than her opinion.
I am not trying to speak for her, but I want to avoid this thread turning into a war between two people. A debate between two people is fine but I can see this might get personal.
Let's try to keep it civil.
See, now that's why I post here! I also read samanthanc's comment as Jess did, but then I guessed that maybe I was reading it too strongly, and I posted my true opinion anyway (see a few posts up.) Afterall, the thread opens with a request for opinions. Surely, I thought, they want more than one idea here! I've posted an opposing viewpoint lots of time over the past weeks, and I have been received well. I have learned a lot about Internet posting, though. It's hard to control interpretations when you are not conveying meaning with your tone of voice or gestures and expressions. But the moderators here keep things as calm as possible on the web. Thank you, moderators!
I was really surprised when I read that Kate said she wanted to adopt. If I remember right, she mentioned she wanted to know what it is like to have just one. Not the right motivation in my mind for adoption.
I think Kate is showing the first signs of empty nest syndrome. The 'tups will be in kindergarten next year and the twins are in full day school. She's probably panicking at the thought of the empty house and is wishing for something to fill the void she thinks will be there. I mean, imagine the adjustment. She's been caring for six babies and two older kids for four years, and suddenly, they'll be gone for part of the day. It hasn't dawned on her yet that having some free time in a quiet house is a GOOD thing.
Unless they can swing a private adoption through a lawyer, I doubt they'll be able to get one anyway. Sounds like Kate is just wishing out loud at this point.
I don't think it's the greatest idea for them to adopt in the near future, but obviously, it's not up to me. I'm sure their hearts are in the right places. I do kind of understand the "wanting to know what it's like to raise just one" thing, because I think Kate feels she missed out on being able to focus on one child at a time going through various stages - first step, first word, etc. I also think she is one of those people who really likes babies. I'm sure she likes kids and obviously she loves her kids, but I think she really, really likes babies.
I'm not sure that their lives could get *that* much more chaotic, but I think in fairness to the kids they have (especially the twins, who are always in danger of getting short shrift, if not from J&K, just in general because they're older and they aren't part of the sextuplet phenomenom), it's probably better to wait. J&K are young still. If they really wanted to, they could raise a whole 'nother family when their kids get older.
Thank you NMD you are exactly right, I in no way meant to offend Jess or anyone else. When I said "vocal" I meant overly harsh, bc as we all know there are people who hatefully critique every move the Gosselins make, from Kate's hair to Jon's hair plugs, so you can imagine the hayday they could have with something as signifigant as an adoption, (and yes I think we all know I'm referring mainly to gwop). I'm not dismissing anyone's opinion I just hope that the criticism of their decision can be kept civil, that's all. Again thanks NMD bc I certainly was not implying that a differing opinion is less important than mine.
I personally could care less about Jon or Kate's hair. Why is this even an issue to talk about.
I find it completely hilarious that so many haters like to discuss it. Perhaps secretly they like Kate's hair! :)
If I were a friend of Kate's, I would suggest that perhaps they wait until the tups are in at least 1st grade before they adopt. They definitely can afford another child, but they have their hands full right now with 8. When the kids are older, J+K will have more time to devote to the baby. They couldn't morally prevent having twins and then sextuplets, but they can prevent bringing another child into the mix before they can devote the time to them. I think it would only be fair to the baby.
They will also have to find a family who is willing to give them a child, because private adoption is the only way I can see them being able to adopt. That could take some time (unless there's a crazy fan out there that sees them for their tv show and not who they are as people and parents).
I will say this though... if they do adopt a baby from Korea, whatever they experience growing up in a family with 8 other siblings, jon and kate as parents, the spotlight, etc is FAAARRRRR better than whatever life they would lead in an orphanage in Korea.
I think that if they really want to adopt and experience having "just one", they need to logically wait until the tups are in college and no longer living at home. Then, Jon and Kate can have the experience they want to have. They'll be how old in 13.5 years? Still plenty young enough to parent one child!
If Kate has the urge to spend time with babies, she should volunteer to help at a local NICU, or find new moms through her church that would like a break for a few hours, and help them out.
I'm all for adoption if it would benefit the child, but I am not so sure that any foreign country is going to see the Gosselins as better than an orphanage.
Especially with the new Hague Convention rules about working to place an orphan in his/her country of origin first, then allowing international adoption, Jon and Kate are flat out of luck on this issue.
Oh, please. It's "not fair" that she's expected to "take care" of the ones she has. What business has she taking on yet another child?
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