Friday, August 29, 2008

SOUND OFF - Parenting Skills

What are some of the things you feel Jon does well as a parent?
Everyone has room for improvement. So fell free to give an opinion on that also.

While we are at it- what stands out about your childhood and your own parents.


Anonymous said...

He loves to play with the kids. He seems like a big kid himself but you can tell that the kids love it. He appears to be very athletic which I am sure will be a big plus if any of the kids decide to pursue sports.

Anonymous said...

Jon seems to very involved in the day to day care with meals and bathing. Even before when he worked a full day away from home. Somewhat immature at times.

My dad was always hands on back when it was not the in thing to do. Very involved in changing diapers and bathing. I am talking about the 60's. Most men didn't do those things back then.

Tyra said...

He has real conversations with his kids, gets down to their level and really talks to them.

nomoredrama said...

Jon has a great sense of humor and is able to identify individual strengths in all of his kids.

frenn said...

He seems very real with kids, with his dry sense of humor and no fluff attitude. I've seen him cuddle the boys and the girls, and it just seems he really loves his kids and is involved in their lives. My dad never really cooked, bathed, or put us to bed, so it's nice to see that gender role reversed a little (despite obvious gender roles being placed on the kids...) It's nice to see him with his kids.

Tracey said...

Jon seems to genuinely enjoy being with his kids. He seems very playful and jovial most of the time. He seems like a "real" parent. He has his moments where he is miserable, but don't we all?

My dad did fun things with me but he never did the routine, mundane everday things with me. He never cooked or did bath time. He also never made my mom her coffee. I guess it was a different generation!

dotsicle said...

Jon seems to be a pretty good dad. He does a lot for the kids, more than their mother does, and appears to enjoy playing with them. He appreciates the twins and relates well with them, and isn't tied up in a knot about any kid possibly getting dirty. I'm sure he does some things that some dads might not, but I do like Jon's parenting "as seen on tv".

Anonymous said...

I say he is a typical man with most of his parenting. Let's things roll off his back. Allows the kids to get dirty. I would have to say he was placed into a situation at a very young age and for the most part has stepped up to the plate. I understand that we only know what we see and there is a lot more to the story. From what I see, he does just fine.

I have nothing but fond memories from my childhood. We didn't have much but my dad was as involved as he could be at the time. He worked a lot. He always made sure we did things as a family. Church, school functions, holidays, summer vacations at a cabin(a very cheap one and what a true cabing was back then.)God I miss those days.

MCB said...

Jon is more easy going, which is in stark contrast to Kate's more rigid control. Yeah, sometimes he's too laid back, (bordering on lazy), but when one parent is more strict and controlling, you need a counterbalance. Yes, that leads to bickering, for example, naps times. Kate wants structured naps. Same time every day. Jon would let the nap time slide if he needed to get something done.

Plus, he will "play" with the kids in ways that Kate won't. Example, water balloon fights. Plus, for the Gosselin children who are more active and want to participate in outdoor activities such as soccer leagues, skiing, rollerblading, he's the go-to parent, while Kate is the homebody. She wouldn't necessarily think getting to soccer practice on time is a big deal. He would. Kate would put more emphasis on music lessons and practicing. He'd probably let that slide.

Actually, the Gosselin parenting styles and interests are a good balance. Dad is a big, sometimes immature, kid. But, I think some level of immaturity is necessary! He'll go bike riding, rollerblading, swimming, skiing. He'd wrestle on the floor and play hide and seek. Mom is the go-to for crafts and helping to make Monkey Munch. She does the "indoor activities."

Both are far from perfect, but the kids are so much better off having two parents who's interests really are vastly different.

Baby Mama said...

I totally agree with parents that need to counterbalance each other. Jon is very patient, even when dealing with his wife. You can see that he lives for those kids, and that overall he is a good father to them. That man defintely gets his wings straight up with all he does and deals with when it comes to his family! ;)

Daisy said...

Jon is a hands-on father. He loves each of his children and appreciates their qualities individually.

He cares about their what they're thinking and their feelings. The scenee that comes to mind is at Dutch Wonderland when Mady was crying. Jon took her aside and tried to get to the bottom of what was bothering her.

I respect him for teaching his children to obey. They go to time out and stay there when told.

My father was a hands-on father. His father died when he was 9 years old and that contributed to his qualities as a father.

Anonymous said...

Jon seems to be alot more relaxed than his wife.

He is able to play and goof around with the children which is so important. He also like to partake in more athletic activities with the children.

It takes alot of patience to deal with someone nagging you ALL the time, smacking you and generally making demeaning comments.

Some fans give him to hard a time because of his job history. No one is perfect. And he was really young when most of that happened. But he has always been there to feed, bathe and put the kids to sleep every night. He is also the
first one up in the morning.

i grew up in a very close knit family. we did everything together and my mom and dad were very involved with us - from taking us to dance classes, my dad having snacks waiting for us when we got home from school, and encouraging us to explore our interest. we are still very close.

Barbara in VA said...

If not for Jon I don't know what the kids' lives would be like. He is very funny on the couch in interviews and with the kids. He brings that sense of fun to them and not the "oh, you guys are such a burden" that I sense Kate brings. He is relaxed most of the time. He seems to take a moment and listen to what they want to talk about individually. He gets that kids need to be kids to be whole adults -- at least that's how I see it.

Barbara in VA said...

Off topic, sorry. Now what is wrong with the word toilet? If that was mentioned I missed it, but I did see one of the little girls, was it Leah?, react in such a shocked manner when Jenny said toilet. Surely the kids, the boys especially, won't be going into let's say jr. high saying potty. What did I miss?

linda said...

Hi barbara in va -

I think that was more of a 4 year old moment than anything. I saw that too and I thought that it was kind of odd and cute at the same time that little Leah said, "You mean potty."

My kids were breast fed until about a year. One of the first words that one of them said, was "Nurns" for breasts because I probably said something like, "We're nursing."

So one of them (around 3 1/2 or 4 years old) heard their grandmother mention something about "breasts."

The little bugger matter of factly corrected her and said, "You mean nurns grandma. They are called nurns."

GLO said...

My husband and I just had our first child last March, and we began watching J&K+8 while I was pregnant. We really enjoyed watching kids (and looking forward to when our little one would reach those milestones), and we discussed how we would handle issues that came up on the show as parents. Now, my husband refuses to watch the show anymore (partly because he thinks Kate is a nag), but because I keep hinting that he should be more like Jon in the helping out with the baby department. I love my husband dearly, but he is not much a hands-on father. Part of that is because he has almost no experience with babies, the other is that our baby is a little girl, and he seems to think this makes her an alien species. He actually said he can't bathe her because he doesn't know how to clean "down there" on a girl. LOL!!

nomoredrama said...

Awww...Glo! There is something endearing about your husband's mystic over your daughter. I love guys who are "guys guys." He's probably going to be a sweet Daddy :-) He just has to realize that he can't break her, LOL!

Guinevere said...

I think Jon is sweet with the kids. He does provide a good balance to Kate, though I understand her frustration with him acting like one of the kids, at time. But he appears to be very loving and involved. Some of my favorite moments are watching J&K on the couch talking about the kids - they have such affection in their voices when they talk about them.

anya said...

Glo, I agree with NoMoreDrama - that is endearing and it also makes me think of something positive about Jon’s parenting. He seems to very much appreciate having *both* daughters and sons.

He relates very well to the girls. I have really liked what I have seen of his interactions with the twins. I have seen him cuddling with and/or kissing the girl sextuplets many times and it is so sweet to see a dad who is physically demonstrative like that. My dad was so uncomfortable with emotion of any kind; it always impresses me when I see a man who can express himself that way.

On the other hand, you can see equal love and pride when he refers to "my boys". I love when he calls them “buddy” (I think Kate does this as well). It’s really sweet.

I also marvel at how young Jon was when he had children. Most of the guys I have known in their early to mid 20’s are incredibly immature. Whatever can be said about Jon’s spotty job history, there is no denying in my mind that he has stepped up to the plate and is a responsible and caring father.

MOO (momofone) said...

I love that he calls the boys "buddy." It's so genuine. I think he's an overall genuine guy. My H is 43 and acts like a 2 year old sometimes! :-)

Linda said...

I love that Jon was interested in showing the kids his ethnic heritage. It was cute when the kids kept saying (something like) ... "I'm asian. You are not asian. I'm asian."

twinmom said...

I think Jon is a sweet dad. He calls the boys "buddy" and seems to enjoy playing with all the kids. I think that's why Kate yells at him so much. He is able to see that these times are special. I heard him say in one episode that she would be very sorry in the future for just not relaxing. He gets it. Can he be short and curt? Absolutely. Sometimes when he's herding the kids down the stairs I get a little nervous watching them go, but for the most part I think he tries to show them affection and does truly love his family. It's also shocking to me to think this guy is 30 and already had 8 kids! Think about it. He had to learn to parent really fast and which one of us can say we wouldn't make many mistakes if thrown into that situation. I know I would. Heck, I know I have LOL! And the kids still love me. I'm also very generous at birthdays and Christmas ; )

MrsRef said...

I have seen Jon get down on the kids level when he talks to them about their behavior. He also seems to enjoy playing with them which is so important. I do wish he would put his foot down with Kate as far as letting them get dirty, etc. He makes under his breath comments (like at the golf place) but he needs to tell her. Also he made a comment about doing things with the boys that "he enjoys" Sometimes you have to do things you don't like because your kids want to do them. He could also teach his girls how to hit a golf ball or play baseball. Not be so rigid with the gender stuff.

Anonymous said...

I remember on the fashion show episode, Mady was really angry because the dress she wanted wasn't there. In my mind, Jon's reaction really stayed with me. Even though there was so much else going on in the room, he stopped what he was doing, really listened to what she was saying, and then knew what outfit she was talking about. It's the little things like that that show Jon really cares about all of his kids. It's very evident that he loves them so much.

I think we should do this about Kate, too, but with the stipulation that it can't turn snarky. She loves them, too, even if she's got some issues.

Nina Bell said...

I want to do it for Kate also. I just didn't want to lump them together.


anya said...

Nina Bell said...
Yes, I want to do it for Kate also. I just didn't want to lump them together.

Nina, I think that's a great idea.

It's ideal to have a different forum for each because I think they bring very different strengths and weaknesses to parenting.

In their best moments, they do balance each other out nicely.

Anonymous said...

I think Jon is an all around pretty decent guy who has gotten caught up in something that has spun out of control in many ways. I think he actually had eight kids by the age of 26 which is unusual now days in itself. He seems to have stepped up to the plate when it comes to parenting.
His family appears to be well taken care of. It is very obvious the kids really love him. They are loved, cared for, clothed, well fed and receiving an education. Many of the children in the US are not. Is he Father of the Year? I don't know. Is he a good father? It certainly appears that way.

chick said...

I do believe, based on what's seen on TV, that Jon loves his kids. I think he usually likes spending time with them, and that he has, out of neccessity, taken over many of the day-to-day tasks that are often done by moms.

I think Jon does try hard to be a good parent, and despite all the issues I have with his snarking, particularly at Joel, I think he is doing the best he can in a fairly overwheleming situation.

I think Jon's more easygoing personality is going to be the saving grace for his family one day.

Rosieo said...

On this last episode where they celebrated the Fourth of July, you could see Jon at his best. He was relaxed, went with the flow and had a good time with the kids. I think any parent under stress will have weaknesses. In a vacation setting like this, the best comes out.

Anonymous said...

I like the show because I like to watch the kids. They are ADORABLE - except for the hitting and biting. I love to listen to them talk.

Do I think Jon & Kate are good parents? Well, if by good parents you mean a neat house, clean clothes, home cooked meals, then YES they are good parents. And yes, Jon does try to do "fun" things with them, more so than Kate.

They need to take an effective parenting class. I know it's stressful, but I REALLY HATE the way Jon just barks one word commands at his children. I also wish he wouldn't lift those kids by their hands. The painful looks on those faces when he starts grabbing them to put them in the van or take them out of the van. I just hope he doesn't rip an arm out of a socket some day!

I just really wish Kate would relax about "appearancces" and let those kids roll around on the grass, play in the sandbox, slide down the slide, etc., without so much focus on their clothes getting dirty. She's got eight kids. She should expect that she'll have lots of laundry to do. Besides, she's got somebody to do everything else for her, how tough can it be to treat stains and do 5-6 loads of laundry every day?

I think Kate is setting a VERY VERY POOR EXAMPLE for his children by the way she talks to and treats her husband. They see her hitting him all the time, so that's probably why they are so aggressive. It will be interesting to see how they interact with other kids they aren't related to in school once they get there. I wonder how long it will be before one of them hits or bites one of their classmates.

I like the show. I just think there are a lot of things that Jon & Kate could do differently (change their approach to) regarding discipline and less chaos.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of different things that factor in on how one parents. Socioeconomic background, education, stress factors and of course how one was raised. So parenting classes are not necessarily the answer but could be a key factor in directing parents in the right direction and allowing them to know that there are ways to handle situations as they arise. I think that parenting classes could benefit us all. I would like to see something like this in all highs schools as a mandatory class for seniors before graduating. It does not need to be called Parenting Class. They could be more creative. Perhaps college level also.

nomoredrama said...

Anon 6:26,
I agree that I think he has an aggressive approach to discipline. I don't like when he lifts the kids up like that either.

I'm a very sarcastic person but when I'm interacting with young children I have to remember that they don't "get" sarcasm and take everything that is said to heart. I think J & K's sarcasm can be hurtful (especially when he called Joel a girl, not cool at all.

I think J&K both need to work on patience and think about long term effects of words that may seem like a joke but could prove to be hurtful later on.

Guinevere said...

I'm sarcastic too, which is why Kate's sarcasm doesn't bug me. I think mostly it goes over the kids' heads. Of course, things like calling Joel a girl are out of line. But I think you can be sarcastic without being mean, and I don't think that's necessarily harmful to kids. Before you know it, they are sarcastic themselves!

Anonymous said...

I think Jon does what Kate doesn't; he plays with and understands his children individually, where as Kate is more concerned with their immediate needs (eating and safety). I think they make a great team. He is able to be playful and goof-off with his kids while simultaneously giving them the discipline they need (when necessary).

Considering he has stated before that he didn't really want more children after the twins he really does show all eight equal love and attention. He steps up to his responsibilities, even though he said he tends to pass them off to Kate (with her un-necessary agreement), and considering how young he was when these responsibilities were bestowed on him he does a fantastic job.

For all the negative things being said about the two, we aren't there to know that any of that is true and for an actual family member to condone another spreading FAMILY BUSINESS to complete strangers (even though they are on television) is crass and class-less.

My own dad wasn't always able to give me the attention that I would have liked because he was always working (my mom didn't work until I was in middle school) because he had child support and alimony (both of which were NOT court appointed, he offered) for his two ex-wives and his children with both (me and my older siblings). And when he was able to play with us and spend family time with us it was usually interrupted by him needing to discipline my eldest three siblings (the older girls were quite rowdy). Subsequently, my two older brothers and I went unnoticed a lot, but he always tried to make up for it. Not a lot of parents (period) do that and I will always appreciate him for that.

That is what the Gosselin kids are going to remember more than anything, the love they received from their father and the attention he gave them as individuals.