Damn, I hate being wrong. I was still thinking it was overblown because of their fame. What an idiot.
Those poor innocents. How heartbreaking for those children.
Anya sent me a link showing that Kate is going to be on Larry King tomorrow night and I have been reading rumors that TLC is making an announcement.They certainly can not keep this show going.
The first time I went to the US site, there were pictures up of them sunbathing together in the yard of the young woman. Now the pictures are gone, I think. Is that one way for US to get people to buy the magazine on the stands?
I have no words. This is disgusting. Those poor kids as Eileen stated. This is so sad...
He is even more immature and self-absorbed than I had thought. Sick. I'm sure that there are many out there who will blame her for all of this.
Very sad. My heart goes out to Kate and the kids. I really question the loyalty and common sense of the brother. I don't see how he thinks he is 'helping' his sister by confirming the ugly rumors, but perhaps that is beside the point now.I really don't know what to think about the future of season 5. I think we will have to wait and see.I know forgiveness is possible in these situations. I was reading a piece about Elizabeth Edwards today. I have *a lot* of admiration for her. She indicates they are taking their relationship day by day, month by month. Both couples have young children who I am sure they love dearly. If it's possible to salvage the relationship, I think the adults owe it to the children to try, but I do not think parents should stay together solely for the children. Been there, done that. It doesn't work....
The pics seem to be taken down but rest assured they will be in the magazine. Its the two of them on a lawn chain, that's it. SCANDALOUS!I saw the video. How do you know it's Jon? How do we know its 7am? The girl's brother is looking to make a quick buck. I for one, will not believe ANYTHING until they release a statement. I met Kate again today. After all this my heart breaks for her. When I spoke to her asking about whether she was staying in NYC or going home, she said she was axious to get home in time for dinner. With a lack of trust like this woman better get her behind home quick! (lol). All kidding aside, I do NOT see these two splitting. Last season? Perhaps.. but not spitting. He will be thrown out the door with nothing but his bean bag chair and a stick with a sack at the end......filled with organic food of course..Its a long way back to the hotel room! (lol) I will NOT be posting this story on my blog.. I will leave it up to you guys....
Dysfunctional relationships are vulnerable to affairs and their relationship is and always have been mutually destructive and dysfunctional. That being said, my opinion of them and the controversy around them is the same as it has always been. I'm neutral about them as a couple. I don't think that either of them are role models and I don't think that either of them are evil incarnate. Is K overbearing? Yes. Is Jon immature and self-sabatoging? Yes. I read Multiple Blessings while I was on Spring Break and I must say that Ks faith, and personal strength are pretty impressive. I do think that the over-the-top personal investment of the fans and "the others" . . . especially in the blogosphere . . . is mind boggling.
Well, I just looked at the video. To me, I don't see how any cheating was proven. There was a guy who may have looked like Jon walking out a door. Of course, we were told it was Jon because of the lettering that told us it was Jon and what time is was. I don't believe it. As for the brother, I don't buy his story. Perhaps he was paid off. Nice. Sell out your sister.I am interested in hearing what Kate says on Larry King. I will only believe it's Jon cheating or marriage troubles if it comes out of her mouth.What I find hard to believe is that this is a man who has a camera crew around with him (most of the time), 8 kids, and even though he showed incredibly stupid judgement to be out clubbing at 2am, I don't see how he has the time to fool around. There's just too much going on in their lives to sneak around.Well, we'll find out on Larry King with Kate. (if she acknowledges it).
Right now I'm going to do something that's frowned upon on this blog. I'm going to do some judging.Truth or rumor, I think jokes of any kind are inappropriate.
As sad as I am to admit it, I am pretty confident that the video is what US magazine says it is. If for only the reason that the liability of distributing a video and printing allegations that had not been completely and thoroughly vetted would be tremendous and potentially expensive . . . I tend to believe it.
I am pretty sure that is his bald spot on the back of that man's head.
wow. i don't even know what else to say. i watched the video on us weekly and i did think the stupid sounds and graphics made me feel like whoever put together the video got a kick out of it.
can you post the link saying Kate will be on LKL on wednesday b/c I am searching but can't find that sort of info.
http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/larry.king.live/Look down by Whoopi for Thursday
Well I wonder how long that has been scheduled b/c if it's to promote her book maybe she will cancel b/c of everything going on. She is also scheduled on the Today Show tomorrow or the next.
Whatever issues you have with another poster, please take it elsewhere. This blog is not a platform to air your beefs with this person.Thanks
Wow, well I can't say I'm stunned....
US Weekly wouldn't post a video like that without some sort of caveat (like the word "allegedly") unless they were 100% sure. They could get sued.It it totally him. Something fishy is going on with both of them. Fess-up Jon and Kate and clear the air. People are beginning to feel duped.
I was hoping this wasn't the case. If in fact it is exactly as it's being portrayed, he's more than an idiot. If he's so unhappy with his life, get a divorce and then be an idiot. Don't sneak around and expose your children to this kind of garbage. Jonathan, I hope you can handle breaking nine hearts. JERK.
Uh, I almost typed an expletive I'm so stunned.What was he thinking?! I can't help but think he really wants to be caught for whatever reason or to what end we can only speculate.But for the kids' sakes, why couldn't he and she too! act more mature? Jon and Kate need major marriage counseling if they wish to get through this, and I hope they do wish to...my heart is breaking for those kids. The adults just do what they want and it's always the children who get the brunt of it.
And who was staying with those kids while he was getting it on with that woman?:( :( :(
IF all of the speculation turns out to be FACT: I am shocked and truly dismayed by Jon's ignorance as well as his blatent disregard for his children and wife. I don't give a darn if he's tired of "being Jon and Kate plus 8" or if Kate "nags too much." Grow up Jon and be a man! There are three little boys who consider their Daddy their hero and 5 daughters that would be forever damaged by this nonsense. My heart goes out to those babies and to Kate as well. I can only hope and pray these allegations are incorrect.
US Weekly wouldn't post a video like that without some sort of caveat (like the word "allegedly") unless they were 100% sure. They could get sued.It it totally him. Something fishy is going on with both of them. Fess-up Jon and Kate and clear the air. People are beginning to feel duped.I tend to agree that US would hedge more if there were doubts about this story. I can't pretend to know what's really going on, but certainly each succeeding story makes the whole thing seem less innocent.I don't understand, though, why people would feel duped. Jon made his wedding vows to Kate. If he's betrayed anyone, it's Kate and Kate alone (though it's fair to argue that he's hurt his kids, as well). I don't think the vast majority of fans (or just those of us who consider ourselves sane viewers of the show, as opposed to the unreasonable haters) have any reason to feel duped, betrayed or lied to. It's really none of our business, and I don't think most of us ever claimed that there was no way that there would ever be infidelity in the Gosselins' marriage, or that there might possibly be a break-up.
Wait, this Deanna woman is a 3rd grade teacher? Aren't teachers supposed to actually CARE about the best intrests of children? If this brother of hers is telling the truth and she really is hooking up with Jon Gosselin then my gosh this Deanna Hummel is a grotsky little biotch!
I don't know what to say about this article or video. I feel bad for the kids and wish them the best whatever outcome they may have.
I don't necessarily feel duped, but I am soooo sick of self righteous men pointing their fingers at the camera (Bill Clinton, John Edwards,--the list goes on) and denying in an outraged manner. Either admit it, or tell the world to mind their own business. Acting the injured pary and dragging out the long suffering supportive wife is selfish.
Well said Kel, my thoughts exactly.Cheating is bad enough- but it seems like he's making sure the whole damn world sees his indescretion. Disgusting. He has shown no regard for his children or his wife. I feel for her and hope this doesnt turn into a "she deserves it" fire storm.
Wow, if this is true, what a little weasel Jon is. And that brother is disgusting.If he wasn't happy with their life there were better ways to handle it. He could have tried to work it out, or asked for a separation. That would have been "scandalous" to some people, but they could have kept it civilized. This kind of behavior could lead to all kinds of ugliness. The kids certainly don't deserve that, and I don't think Kate does either.
So sad if it's all true. I shudder to think that many would be happy for an extremely sad outcome to this story. And I don't know what's worse. Jon possibly breaking up his family because of his immaturity or people cheering for the demise of a marriage and the effects of it on those 8 children.
I still can't say I'm buying into the USWeekly story. I never wish this type of thing on anyone, so I hope it's not true. That being said, I'm not sure why people are taking this personally (that is not necessarily directed to anyone here...there is definitely a sense of perspective on this board; hence, why I post here sometimes). This is their marriage. This is their problem. They welcomed us into their lives via a television show; but they never said, "ALL of our business is your business." Yes, "The show is our life; the life is our show" or whatever...but I don't get why some people would feel duped. They are humans. They owe us nothing. They are not civil servants or leaders in any way. I can understand feeling a bit, I don't know, hurt in some way for those children. But, again, Jon and Kate never claimed to be superhumans. I hope they work it out. And I hope they don't feel obligated to make statements to the public. I feel entitled in no way to know what's going on in their personal lives. Curious? Absolutely. But I don't know them personally. I know them from their show only.
What's with these siblings who think that they are helping their sister by "coming forward?" I don't feel betrayed -- just disgusted. I think that there are 9 people that J has betrayed with this - even if they are just friends. What has been put forward gives the appearance of impropriety and that is damaging to his family.
Wow. Just.... wow.This is really sad. Like I have said before it is unfortunate that Jon's behavior is affecting his family this way. I feel bad for Kate having to deal with all this in the midst of her busy schedule. If the rumors and what is reported is, in fact, true, then he started up before the taping for last season was done. The whole situation is disappointing. Deanna's "brother" talking about how Jon is bad for his sister and this is his way of helping is no better. I don't quite know what to think of the 'video'-- I'm pretty sure its Jon but the whole thing seems really fishy.I know Kate is far from perfect, but like I mentioned in another thread it seems like her drive and attitude were many times what they needed to get things done (i.e. stories in Multiple Blessings about how things were when she was pregnant with the sextuplets). At least on my part this whole situation makes me like Kate more since its being proven time and again that Jon really can't be a grown up when he needs to.
I don't feel betrayed- I'm saddened. Sad for the kids, Sad because they brought us into their lives so to speak, and anytime a marriage is ended- it's sad. Its only human to feel disappointed for a family that we have watched grow and change, reach milestones, we've seen intimate moments. We've seen into their lives and its natural for viewers to wish the very best for them.
It takes two for a marriage to end and Jon or Kate are not innocent parties. The only innocents are the children. I do think Jon is pretty dumb to forget about modern technology... Jon did you ever hear of cell phones that can take pictures and video?? Dummy. Jon and Kate (not just Kate) need to come clean about their marriage. It has been on the skids even before they moved into the mansion. Kate needs to go home and spend time with her kids. TLC needs to cancel Season 5. Kate, stop your book tours and appearances on T.V. and GO HOME TO YOUR KIDS.....
For me, once again, this comes down to Jon's apparent refusal to see things (what he's doing, as he's doing it) from anyone else's perspective and how his actions might affect others.And, frankly, where's his ability to discern whether the people around him are trustworthy or not? Or to even take the time to know them long enough to find out if they're trustworthy before he "lets his hair down"?It's pretty obvious he's had people in his recent social "circle" who have taken photographs and posted thim on the internet. Who did Jon think was doing this? Complete strangers? Now the "brother" comes forward, and it's pretty obvious it's him or someone who's also in the "circle" who is taking the sunbathing pictures and the video...and has been for months. I'm also reasonably sure the picture of Jon by his car came from the same person/circle as well.Were warning bells going off left and right that he couldn't trust these "friends" and he simply ignored them?So it's apparent Jon's not using ANY judgement whatsoever. If Jon's out-and-out cheating, he's not even using basic common sense to keep the information private and protect his family from embarassment. And if he and Kate are separated, he's not exercising basic consideration for his children. And if this is a collection of impossibly immature instances of "hanging out" and there was no "relationship", Jon is just incredibly stupid.Whatever the possible scenarios, he's acting like he has no responsiblity to anyone but himself.
I disagree that it takes 2 for a marriage to end. It takes 2 for a marriage to work, but 1 person can screw it up all on their own. I'm not saying this to suggest that K is without her faults, but suggesting that it takes 2 for a marriage to end is a thinly veiled way for cheaters blame their spouse for their bad behavior.
Linda, I agree with you. Kate has her faults but that does not give Jon the right to cheat. I feel like many people are giving Jon a pass on his bad behavior because he is the 'hen pecked husband' or Kate is some monster. He chose to marry her just like she chose to marry him! He decided to stay with her-- he made the choice to stick around. If he was unhappy he should have taken his stuff and left, end of story. If she is unhappy she should do the same. I mean, think back to that final Season 4 ep where he talked about feeling lost. Kate said they were working on it-- she seemed to feel that as a team they needed to deal with things out of the public eye instead of saying "We're working on it- and you'll see us talking to Dr. Phil, then doing a special for ABC, then maybe a book tour on how to fix your marriage." I feel like no matter what happens now the kids are suffering. I already wasn't a big fan of the Season 5 idea but felt like since they are producers that would help the kids be protected more. Now I'm really sad to think of how the kids will handle all this drama and where the future of the family is... to hear people job about how Kate deserves this and call her names does nothing but tear down the one parent who is not out cheating. (Yeah, people speculate that Kate is cheating also but prove it to me. We see pics of her with a guy at her book signings-- and that seems to be her body guard. Big whoop. If there is dirt on her like there is on Jon then we can talk about what she is really doing, but until then its extremely detrimental to be saying she is doing the same thing when there is absolutely no proof. She seems to be working really hard which is more than I can say for Jon.)
It takes 2 for a marriage to work, but 1 person can screw it up all on their own. Amen Linda! Never a truer word was spoken. I'm not saying that Kate doesn't have faults and we have no idea whats gone on in their relationship but as a generalization? It is NOT always the fault of both parties. There are people in my life who can easily attest to that fact. One person can act selfishly and carelessly and decide it's over all on their own- due to no fault of their spouse. I'm surprised that anyone living in the real world would think it always takes two.
I'm sorry but being a divorced mom it does take 2 to end a marriage. It is not entirely Jon's fault and it is not entirely Kate's fault. This marriage ended long before Jon allegedly cheated on Kate. They have been living a charade of a marriage since Season 4 began. Who is to say Kate is innocent she was always the smart one of the two and probable is much more discreet than dummy Jon. Why is Kate so happy on her book tours? I also saw the episode when Kate said they are working on it and I saw it the exact opposite as Kate still wanting to continue on taping so she would say anything. The one thing I know is that my children suffered during the divorce so I can't imagine what their children are going through. Who is home with them? Who is taking daily care of them? Since Jon is a dirty weasel according to everyone here than he can't be with them and where is Mom? Why isn't Mom home. Kate needs to cancel season 5, stop her book tour, and be home with the kids during this awful time. It is time that these two stop their selfish ways and do what is best for the children.
Here's a thought--maybe Kate knew all along.Maybe that was some of the uncomfortableness sensed on the last show where they debated who wanted to keep on doing the show.Maybe he and she knew the marriage was ending, but he agreed to do the season and she wanted to do it so they tried to keep reality at bay to the viewers.Maybe, maybe, maybe lots of things.And how bout that brother? The photos and the video were obviously taken with a plan to use them later. Very creepy.
Wow, Those poor, poor children. And yes I even feel a bit sorry for Kate, she may treat Jon awful but to sneak around and have your affair exposed for all the world to know at the same time you find out? Thats sad, Jon has lost all credibility with me, and Linda you are definitely right with your statement about ending a marriage, IMO that is.
ohiomom- I'm not trying to make this personal with you. I'm not speaking about Jon and Kate. I'm talking about marriage in general. Just as no two marriages are the same, no two divorces are the same either. The fact that you are divorced does not give you license to definitivley say that the fault always falls on both spouses, regardless of circumstance. It just doesn't. Life is never that black and white.
This is why I don't necessarily buy into the USWeekly story. What brother would ever talk about his sister having sex? And how young (or dumb) is this kid to think that Jon, at 32 years old, is twice Deanna's age? And, of course, "Ick. Nast." Clearly, this kid is not the best source. He sounds like he's about 14. I can't help but think this kid is completely playing around with all the media hype just for a laugh."Deanna’s brother continues, "A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast."
Durham Dora -I do think it's the brother quoted in the story for the following reasons: 1) They quote him by name and can get in quite a bit of trouble if it turns out he didn't say it, 2) I'm guessing he's young, given the vocab and poor judgement he exercised, 3) I'm sure they paid him what seems to be a large sum of money (to him anyway) that will allow him to go buy some more beer. It also wouldn't surprise me if the video came from the brother or one of his friends. You'd be surprised at what some early 20 year olds will do for money and/or alcohol. How do you think they people for the Girls/Boys Gone Wild tapes?
I am not a bitter divorcee'...far from it. Why is the obvious not ever stated. Why isn't Kate home w/the kids? Especially with all the media scrutiny going on with this couple. They are a "hot" gossip item now and the stories are only going to get worse. The children are innocent and need a stable family member. Oh what am I saying Jon and Kate aren't stable right now. Kate go home!
The pictures are still on the US website - I was just there. I buy these magazines every week. I'll buy mine on Friday. I just knew all this was true but I honestly believe Kate is not an innocent by-stander in this and I truly believe she also has something on the side. I could care less but it's the kids - don't they realize what this is going to do to them?? Especially the older ones - their school friends will see the magazines at home - in the store - everywhere and it is going to devestate those children. I hope they start thinking of the kids and doing whatever they can to protect them - like maybe backing out of Season 5.My heart breaks for those kids - right now they need family members around - not a not-nanny. Kate needs to pull back on the book signing and go home and be with her children. I said it yesterday - you watch, Kate will play the Martyr in all this and try and come out smelling like roses and you know she's no better than Jon at this point. I'm so mad at both of them - how could they do this to those children!!!
Well if it is true, Jon should be ashamed that he not only let Kate and the kids down, but he did not take his vows to God (both times he wed) to heart.I find that very disappointing
ohiomom, I get what your saying but I honestly think Kate is making some wise choices right now. She knows the show wont go on forever and is trying to make a name for herself while she still can. She is thinking about the future of her children, which is far more than Jon is thinking about right now.
We don't know for a fact that Jon cheated on Kate. We may know that he was having a relationship with this young girl, but we don't know that it was done behind Kate's back at all. Again, we have know idea what the relationship between Jon and Kate is, we have no idea what agreement they may have come to, because they do not allow their viewers to see that part of their lives. But if the agreement was to stay together for business reasons, then I can understand fans feeling like they were duped.Many viewers probably thought they were watching a loving couple as Jon stated, now Jon and Kate's idea may be very different from what I deem a loving couple to be, and I could be wrong, but I think most of their viewers would not view an open marriage as being part of a loving couple.If he was cheating, then he was portraying himself to be something other than reality to his viewers.In my opinion, their life is not their show, and their show is not their life. Jon and Kate Plus Eight has nothing to do with Reality TV in my opinion.As for me, I think I've had my fill of Gosselin.I'm just going to say a prayer for that family.
Weed: Thats the thing, Kate may very well have something on the side but she isn't showing it to all the world through that paparzi.
Just wondering....did this slip past TMZ? Even RadarOnline??Makes you wonder.
I feel sorry for the children. I do think that one spouse can in fact ruin a marriage. I am going through this right now. There are people out there who are selfish, and only think of themselves.Kate may not be perfect, probably far from it. But Jon obviously has been unhappy. He said it himself on camera. If he wanted out he should man up and ask for a divorce or separation. The children do not deserve to be dragged through his mess.Kate has every right to have a career. If they end the show, should she no longer do speaking engagements? Should she just become a recluse? She is building a platform for herself. And from the looks of it she may need to be able to support 9 people without Jon.
Jon and Kate owe no one any type of explanation as to what is going on in their personal lives. True, they have put themselves "out there" for public consumption, but, that doesn't mean they owe the world the entire story.Having said that, I think it would be in their best interests to tell TLC they are done. It's over. Pull the plug on the tv show so this family can heal and figure out what to do next.
Theresa -This is just a theory on my part but I think when Jon was caught in the bar with the coeds, either his girlfriend got pissed and wanted to teach him a lesson, or her brother realized there's money to be made from this. Either way, hopefully this will give Jon a new perpective on why he shouldn't be hanging around college students (or recent grads.)
We all have watched the show from the beginning. You saw a true, loving couple struggling to cope with 8 children. All the kids were adorable and sweet. They brought you into their homes so you got to care for this family. Kate deservedly had her tummy tuck and liposuction, but also wanted a breast implant.. thank goodness the doctor said no, we remember her coming home to the tups and them saying Hi Mommy and the smile and look on Mommy's face was priceless. I didn't mind the family going to amusement parks, zoos because that is what young families do. But then Jon got hair implants, teeth whitening? The Disney World trip, the Utah trip, the S. Carolina trip, and then Hawaii,staying in way over the top housing. You weren't seeing the Mommy smile, you were seeing the stress of constant filming and the toll it was taking on this family. Then they moved into the big house, the couch interviews (ouch, uncomfortable) and we were seeing cracks in the facade. Now there is a chasm in this family that we have grown to care for and it is just a sad situation. Bless the beasts (dogs)and the children as the song goes
Theresa,Neither one of them took their marriage vows or renewal vows seriously in my view. They have both been disrespecting each other since the first show aired. I think their marriage has been dysfunctional from the get go, and I too believe that Kate is far from innocent in this. Has she too had an affair, don't know and really don't care. I don't give Jon a pass on his slimy behavior, but neither do I give one to Kate. It takes 2 and I have seen more than enough from Kate to make me run screaming from her. I too just fininshed reading the book and what I saw was a very selfish and self centered woman. If Jon wants out of the marriage this is not the way to do it, but I am of the mind set to believe they aren't staying together for the kids, but for the money.
I know - I didn't mean to come down so hard on Kate. I just don't want her to be the "poor misunderstood" wife whose husband had just wronged her. Like I said yesterday, Kate's alittle smarter than Jon in that respect and I'm sure she has much better "handlers" since she's on the road so much. I just blew it when I saw that recent US article - I'm not watching the video. Just can't. I'm just so upset for those children - it certainly seems as if their parents have forgotten all about them. Maybe,just maybe - there is a good explanation for all of this - just maybe...and the children won't be hurt??
True or not, this media circus has to stop for the kids' sake.
On CNN Entertainment page they have a vote going on about J&K affairhttp://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/I can't believe CNN is giving this story time - the other day it was front page at least now it's in the Entertainment section.The media-blitz has to stop - it's going to be too hard to hide it from the children - and no one wants them to see/hear about their parents this way. It will crush them.
Weed, I agree its not all poor Kate but I think the children have already been hurt. The twins especially, there school mates will have seen the magazines and who knows how they are being treated. Its a really sad situation that could have easily been avoided.
Well, for some reason I cannot see the video, it keeps getting stuck on "buffering" after the Olay commercial.I don't care if this is all "innocent" or not. It's not right. Period. I think Jon is acting like a dumb@ss. I have to agree with Babymama as far as the brother getting "paid" by US. I'm sure he did. With that said, NO ONE deserves this kind of media. Not even if it's true. NO ONE.Regardless of them being on TV. Regardless of whether we think Kate is a b&tch or not. Regardless of whether Jon is passive aggresive or not. The media circus is out of control - blogs included.I hope for the sake of their family, J & K can work through their problems and put their family and personal lives first right now. If that means putting a halt to the show, then so be it.An "affair" or "relationship" or "friendhip" does NOT have to be physical to be wrong. An emotional affair can be even more devastating than a physical relationship. I think it's all really sad. That's about all I can say. Sad.
Since I do not want to create another post about their troubled marriage on my fan site, I want you all to see the Entertainment Weekly Article that both Jon & Kate just did. The interview shows solidarity and I hope that this sticks......enjoyhttp://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2009/05/exclusive-jon-g.html
Baby Mama, I just read that article-- I find it interesting that Kate said "We are not concerned about the ratings right now. Our main focus is on our family and working through this." That is really good to hear-- I can't judge whether she was serious about it or not but it seems like she is realizing how her travel is affecting the family and making changes to be home more. You even mentioned she was eager to get home for dinner at the book signing, which I think is encouraging.No matter whether the stuff on US Weekly is true-- Jon made some bad decisions and instead of changing his behavior has continued to make bad decisions. Its unfortunate.
Kate just had to have that Hawaiian wedding and justify it by saying that it was a sign to their children that their mommy and daddy would always be together! That is one promise that shouldn't have been made
A quote from Kate in the Entertainment Weekly article, "Kate: ..... Jon's poor judgment and irresponsible behavior has also without a doubt caused some added tension and stress between the two of us." Okay - Jon was "stupid" but to put that out there like that, she has always said that about Jon - isn't that why he wanted to show to end because of the exposure and she was just so darn happy and wanted it to continue?? She couldn't listen to her husband and see the pain this was causing him and apparently the marriage - and let's not forget the children. She's happy - she LOVES her job - she ain't quitting. She's gained a swell job but lost the most important things, her husband-family and IMO - the respect of her viewers.I have to stop writing today - I'm getting more and more irritated by the articles and really it's none of my business - so I shouldn't let it bother me so much. I just think of those children and the smug look on Kate's face and want to smack somebody, anybody. Thanks for letting me vent today, I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day. I've got a lot going on in my own life and I think I'm getting too involved in J&K's mess to try and ignore my own problems or at least take my mind off them for awhile.
Thanks for the link, Baby Mama. Very interesting.I very much agree with Liz Beth and SamanthaNC on all their points. Personally all that has been proven to me so far is that Jon has acted very recklessly and immaturely and has not shown concern for his wife and children.Kate is out trying to earn a living for the family and secure their future. I don't think it's too much to ask that Jon stay home, mind the house and not invite college kids over to party. If he wants the marriage to end or is unhappy with the turn of events, there are mature ways to address this. Putting his family on the radar of the tabloids is not the way to go about it.
"Kate is out trying to earn a living for the family and secure their future. I don't think it's too much to ask that Jon stay home, mind the house and not invite college kids over to party."Anya I thought I was going to DIE when I read that! It encompasses everything I feel about Jon at this moment. Kate may look smug, but I saw her yesterday and the girl is HURTING. I feel bad that she has to deal with that no matter how anybody feels about her. Shes taking care of her family. I'm impressed at how shes handling all this.
Oy. The whole thing really is really sad, but even worse is the fact that some people seem so freakin happy about it. "Well, Kate had it coming" and "I don't blame him, I'm just sorry he got caught"..blah, blah, blah. Tell me again how you are only want what's best for the kids? Call me crazy, but if you are that excited about watching a marriage fall apart, the only person you need to be concerned about is you.
Jon Gosselin~ "It hurts me to see what it's done to my family, and it's scary to know that these tabloids are in town constantly following us and even paying locals large amounts of money to contribute to these negative stories."That pretty much sums it up there. People complain about Jon & Kate making money, but yet here are a lot of STRUGGING people who now see following them as a lucrative new job. The brother of this girl is the lowest of the low. I'm thinking he got new rims on the Trans-am for this (lol).I am contemplating publishing this article so please don't be mad If I back track on my promise not to add more fuel to the fire and publish it....
That being said, I'm not sure why people are taking this personally (that is not necessarily directed to anyone here...there is definitely a sense of perspective on this board; hence, why I post here sometimes). This is their marriage. This is their problem. They welcomed us into their lives via a television show; but they never said, "ALL of our business is your business." Yes, "The show is our life; the life is our show" or whatever...but I don't get why some people would feel duped. They are humans. They owe us nothing. They are not civil servants or leaders in any way. I can understand feeling a bit, I don't know, hurt in some way for those children. But, again, Jon and Kate never claimed to be superhumans. I hope they work it out. And I hope they don't feel obligated to make statements to the public. I feel entitled in no way to know what's going on in their personal lives. Curious? Absolutely. But I don't know them personally. I know them from their show only.I pretty much agree with all of this. I think a certain level of "investment" is natural when you watch the show regularly and follow the family online, but perspective is helpful. I'm kind of disgusted with Jon, because stupid behavior tends to bug me. But I don't feel "duped" because I never was invested in the idea that J&K had a perfect marriage. It's between them. They'll work it out, or they won't. I do feel sorry for the kids, but even that I think needs some perspective - divorce is hard on a child but no one is losing a limb, no one is being shipped off to Siberia. It's sad but not tragic, IMO.
I do think its kind of tragic, because really a lot of the extra stress could have been avoided. Regardless of the true state of Jon and Kate's relationship, this story being in the news is harmful to the children. If Jon wants out than get out, but this is not the way to do it.
Is it possible that Jon wanted the show to end so badly, and Kate wouldn't agree, that the only way out of the show was to end the marriage?
It takes two for a marriage to end and Jon or Kate are not innocent parties. The only innocents are the children. I do think Jon is pretty dumb to forget about modern technology... Jon did you ever hear of cell phones that can take pictures and video?? Dummy. Jon and Kate (not just Kate) need to come clean about their marriage. It has been on the skids even before they moved into the mansion. Kate needs to go home and spend time with her kids. TLC needs to cancel Season 5. Kate, stop your book tours and appearances on T.V. and GO HOME TO YOUR KIDS.....It may or may not take two for a marriage to end. If one of the two cheats, I think that person is doing a great deal of damage to the marriage. I don't think it's fair to say that the blame is equal in such a case, because infidelity is such a serious blow to a marriage.As for the rest of what you say, eh. I don't know when the Gosselin marriage went on the "skids", if it is indeed there (obviously there are issues). I don't feel comfortable telling total strangers what they need to do with their lives. I don't believe that a mother shouldn't work, or travel for work. Some people have very old-fashioned ideas about parental roles (the mother should always be at home, etc.) and that's fine, but they need to realize that not everyone agrees with those rules.
I'm not saying this to suggest that K is without her faults, but suggesting that it takes 2 for a marriage to end is a thinly veiled way for cheaters blame their spouse for their bad behavior.ITA. It's two steps away from "I wouldn't have had to hit you if you hadn't made me mad" thinking, IMO. Where is the personal responsibility? Why can't some people accept that not everything in the world is Kate Gosselin's fault?
I don't know how to link, but People online just added something from Deanna- she says her brother is a lying jerk, basically. This none of my business, but I do wonder what the truth is.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20276898,00.htmlWow.... the article says "Hummel continues to deny any sort of romantic relationship with Gosselin, and the elementary school teacher admits that there's been bad blood between her and her brother for a while now. "My brother is very shady," says Hummel. "He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He's on probation right now." And though the siblings live together, she says she was in the process of buying their home – and asking him to move out. "He wanted to get back at me ... he knows he's getting kicked out of the house." Honestly... I have no idea what to believe. Again, Jon did wrong in his actions. I think Kate has done her fair share of wrong as well, though she seems to be the more stable, responsible parent. All of this drama is just out of control.
Michele - I happen to post on a variety of websites. I've never said I was a hater or lover of either Jon or Kate. Why are you singling me out to be removed. I can't remember the last time I posted on GWOP - it's not something I do on a regular basis. I don't post here on a regular basis either. If I'm not offending anyone - why are you asking BabyMamma to remove me?
Good grief these siblings seem very Jerry Springer-esque. One of them is lying and its sad that a brother/sister would stoop so low. Even if what he says is true its disgusting that he would "share" so much detail. Ick.
I'm sorry but being a divorced mom it does take 2 to end a marriage. It is not entirely Jon's fault and it is not entirely Kate's fault. This marriage ended long before Jon allegedly cheated on Kate. They have been living a charade of a marriage since Season 4 began. Who is to say Kate is innocent she was always the smart one of the two and probable is much more discreet than dummy Jon. You obviously have strong opinions about this but stating them as fact does not make them any more true. You don't know the truth of the Gosselins' marriage. You don't know whether it's a "charade" or not, whatever that even means. To imply that Kate is cheating without any evidence just makes you look like you will find any reason to blame her for this, IMO. Almost all anti-Gosselinites deny hating Kate - can you really deny it? Why in the world would you try so hard to find a way to blame her for a situation where she is clearly the victim?
I said it yesterday - you watch, Kate will play the Martyr in all this and try and come out smelling like roses and you know she's no better than Jon at this point.Nope, I don't know that. I don't know that she's cheated on her husband (something that there is ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE OF, btw). If she has, it appears that she's been a lot more discreet, which at minimum shows some dignity and respect for her family.I don't get the fixation that some posters have with Kate being home with her family. I don't follow her schedule obsessively, but from what I've heard Kate has been busy lately with her book tour. She's working. Many women work outside the home. Are all of these people who criticize her so harshly stay-at-home-moms? What is the deal with caring so much if Kate travels for work?
Whether it's Deanna or Jason telling the truth, one thing's clear: Jon sure has chosen the wrong crowd to be friends with."Nast."
What is the deal with caring so much if Kate travels for work?Well when they couldn't complain that Kate didn't work they had to have something to bitch about.
I'm totally guilty of buying into the hype, but I have no idea why the topic of the Gosselins brings out "sides." I have heard the phrase (something like this at least) that people tend to be critical of traits in others that they themselves possess. I can't help but wonder if this is true of people who get go to extremes to hate or defend the Gosselins. I can't imagine what other reason would cause people to get offended or to be worked up about this to the point where they say they feel sick. Again, I think it's natural to be curious. But I don't understand taking sides in a situation that nobody really knows about or understands. I think it's normal to speculate on harmless television shows like Lost, but to pretend we understand what's going on with a real family (granted, on a tv show), it's absurd. Again, I like this site because there's a sense of perspective that is lacking elsewhere. People here realize that they don't actually know the family nor do they really want to know the family. They recognize the show as a show -- not as something that requires that you love or hate a family. Amen to that.
I was never happy with the way Kate treated Jon but I must say...her behavior may have changed over the years as a result of something we aren't privy to. We don't know what its really like when the cameras aren't rolling. I think she has clearly conducted herself with dignity...going on the road and doing what needed to be done and pretty much kept silent about this mess....maybe she IS doing what she thought was best, before this fall out.I think they have been split for a while and the cat got out of the bag, so to speak......whatever. I have had a huge slice of Humble Pie recently and I do wish they can pull together and settle back into being a family without all the show business anymore.
I wont be able to watch the Larry King interview tonight. Am I right to assume someone will post a link to the video, or have a thorough recap on this sight? It would be much appreciated :)
We don't know for a fact that Jon cheated on Kate. We may know that he was having a relationship with this young girl, but we don't know that it was done behind Kate's back at all. Again, we have know idea what the relationship between Jon and Kate is, we have no idea what agreement they may have come to, because they do not allow their viewers to see that part of their lives. But if the agreement was to stay together for business reasons, then I can understand fans feeling like they were duped.Many viewers probably thought they were watching a loving couple as Jon stated, now Jon and Kate's idea may be very different from what I deem a loving couple to be, and I could be wrong, but I think most of their viewers would not view an open marriage as being part of a loving couple.I don't know. I'm not sure I'd call it an "open marriage", but there are certainly marriages where there is a tacit agreement to let one or both parties do what they are going to do, as long as they are discreet (though Jon, whether he's cheated or not, has been far from discreet). If you found out that a couple that you were friends with had such an arrangement, would you feel duped? Because they are presenting themselves to the world as something that you think they are not? I don't think a lot of viewers saw J&K as that loving of a couple, considering we've seen a fair amount of strife from them. I could understand more feeling duped if they did present themselves as perfect and perfectly happy, but I don't think that's ever been the case.
This is NOT the kind of sibling statement I support. What a yucky brother/sister relationship those two have! Weed, I hope you're feeling better when you read this. I think you add an interesting perspective to this thread (as you always do.) I know what you mean about Gosselin blogging to take your mind off your own troubles...you're not the only one! Best of luck to the Gosselin's in trying to swim through their own troubles today. It can't be easy.BabyMama, as always, thanks for sharing your encounter with Kate.
I think people feel "duped" because Jon & Kate have made a large portion of their money speaking of God and his provisions for them (in churches). I don't know of any religion that would approve of Jon's behavior of late. I'm not sure of any religion that approves of open marriage either. I am not a Kate fan but I am growing weary of people blaming her for this situation. Jon apparently made the decision to behave in this manner. Nothing justifies the public humiliation she must be feeling at this time.
Guin: Obviously I have hit a nerve w/you. I have always been a working mother. I don't have anything against working mothers. To me a book tour is not a job. Appearing on talk shows is not a job. But Kate's book tours take her away from home for 4-5 straight days where she is not coming home to fix the kids dinner, bathe them, put them to bed, help them with their homework. My question is who is there doing the nurturing for these young children. Yes I don't know their "inside" life but do you? Children at this age need nurture. I am not a Kate hater.. I am not a Jon hater.. In fact I don't even hate my ex-husband...Hate is not a word that ever is in my vocabulary. I just think that with all this media coverage she should be at home (not being a recluse) but just letting these stories die out. The more she is in the public eye the more this stories are going to fester. She will be home with her kids this weekend to celebrate their 5th b'days. I just remember how innocent the show started out to be.
I do wonder if the only way that felt as if he could end his participation in the show was to end the marriage. But I don't subscribe to the idea that just because J was unhappy that Kate had to end the show. From personal experience, I was unhappy for a few years when my husband was working crazy hours and was often not home. My kids were young and demanding. I didn't make him enter another line of work although there were times when I would have liked to do just that. I knew it was for our future and that those tough years wouldn't last forever. And they didn't.
Well I am finding this site addicting and my attitude becoming the glass half empty so everyone have a good evening.
I think people feel "duped" because Jon & Kate have made a large portion of their money speaking of God and his provisions for them (in churches). I don't know of any religion that would approve of Jon's behavior of late. I'm not sure of any religion that approves of open marriage either. I am not a Kate fan but I am growing weary of people blaming her for this situation. Jon apparently made the decision to behave in this manner. Nothing justifies the public humiliation she must be feeling at this time.Not to parse your words (since we've had our differences over that in the past), but I doubt that J&K have made a "large" portion of their money from their church appearances. I don't know, of course, but I'd guess that whatever they've gotten from that is a pittance compared to the show and book income.I agree that most religions and churches would disapprove of Jon's behavior, but most would also realize (at least if they are in the Judeo-Christian tradition; that's the one I know the most about) that we are all sinners. This goes back to the argument that some make that J&K aren't good Christian role models. My position is that being Christian does not mean being perfect; everyone makes mistakes. Jon may (I emphasize MAY) have made a big one; he's definitely made some medium-sized ones with the poor judgment he's shown. But as much as I think he's not the brightest tack in the drawer, I feel like none of us would want to be judged solely on the worst thing we ever did. I know I wouldn't.I completely agree that the blaming of Kate for this is over-the-top and inappropriate.
OhioMom53 - You may believe that appearing on talk shows is not a job. You may also believe that going on a book tour is not a job. It may just not be the kind of job that you would do. I have a friend who wrote a book -- true crime -- and his contract with the publisher required that he participate in the book's promotion.
OhioMom53: Why is it "not a job" to do book tours or appear on TV? Those are pretty grueling things to do, taking up a lot of time and energy in exchange for a paycheck.And why should Kate be the only parent to tuck in the kids, make them dinner, etc? Jon should do so when she's away--just like wives do when their husbands are away (and, back in traditional times, even when they were home). If Jon's not around to do so either, because he's out with friends or mistresses or whoever--that's Jon shirking his duty, not Kate.Or maybe you think a mother should only work if she also does all the parenting duties too--and that the father's parenting is just gravy, rather than something that ought to be expected.
People most certainly are feeling duped. J&K are making the rounds professing thier faith and trying to sell to the masses that they are good Christian parents. Is this an example of good Christian parent behavior? They do owe people an explanation. They asked us to buy into their show, books, speaking engagments saying it's their actual "reality," all the while leading lives that are not at all what they themselves portray.
I am SO sick of the "they aren't good Christians" remarks.I am an imperfect Christian. We are ALL imperfect. Is that an excuse to do whatever we want? No. Should we all try our best, regardless of what our faith is? Yes. If you know much at all about Christianity you should know that we aren't supposed to look to each other as an example. If you do- you will almost always be disappointed.
A marketing ploy I think. Would Jon be so stupid to have his girl and someone else on their front lawn when he has said they have 200 cars out there on any given day taking pictures? Would Jon just waltz around at 2 AM with young girls at bars knowing that everyone knows who he is and his pictures have appeared before with young girls? The video is of him leaving a house, who said he had sex with anyone in that house? Whose house is it? I can take a camera now and video someone on the side of my house and what does that prove? Three months ago we had similar pictures put out there taken by someone and TLC had their highest ratings. And, of course, this is all done while Kate is "out of town". Oh Please. Guess what, Season 5 is coming up in a few weeks and their wedding video was released just yesterday. If Kate continues to appear on shows and talk about Jon's stupidity then we know she is part of this. What would any of you do? especially if you had 8 kids in Pennsylvania and you were in New York City? Would you continue the dog and pony show, which could always be rescheduled, and is not nearly as important as your 8 children, or would you can it and go home to them? Did you ever think why Kate is shopping at FAO for them but not home hugging them? This would qualify as a "family emergency" and no one would deny her the right to cancel. In fact, she should be encouraged to. Both of them, TLC and their publishers, disgust me.
One more thing I forgot to point out. One of the biggest points of Christianity is forgiveness and mercy. If you expect to receive it you need to show it to others.
To HiMods!-- Thanks for your comment- We're keeping an eye on things but appreciate the heads up!
As part of their "schtick", J&K portray themselves in a light that is proving to be false. So, ok, part of Christianity is forgiving and asking for forgiveness. Why not own up to their reality that is being exposed instead of furthering their dishonesty with the public? It seems like they aren't doing very much of that part of Christianity.Afterall, they are public figures by choice. If they expect us to continue to buy into their agenda, then why is it unreasonable for us to ask questions and expect answers? We aren't sheep, afterall...at least most of us. I am tired of giving them the benefit of the doubt. Aren't you?
Guin: Perhaps they didn't make the majority of their money on the church tours, however, Kate is writing books and selling them thru a Christian Publishing house. I agree, we are all sinners but when we sin, we are to repent not deny everything thru our publicist. This is just getting sadder and sadder with another people.com interview. I really feel sorry for those 8 little children who are truly innocent victims in this whole mess. There is just TMI out there about people's private lives.
TMZ has video on their front page of Kate in New York-- the papparazzi guy is harassing her and asking tons of questions. She says nothing. Even when they are trying to get a rise out of her when she is on the way into FAO Schwartz, she keeps her mouth shut.That is how to gracefully handle controversy-- Jon admitting fault just made him look more guilty. Honestly, this makes me respect Kate more. She isn't off doing 'exclusive' interviews to the Star or anything, sharing 'her side.' She seems to be taking a high road of some sorts while still fulfilling the contractual obligations she has with her book and the show (i.e. appearances they had scheduled, etc).(If you can't tell already, I think paparazzi suck. Seriously-- going with a camera to harass people just because they are on TV? Not really the nicest way to make a buck.)
Long long time lurker. I just watched the TMZ clip and I just felt so incredibly sad for Kate. I just feel so bad for her. Poor kids. Anyway - I'm going to go back to lurking.....Thanks!
I agree, we are all sinners but when we sin, we are to repent not deny everything thru our publicist. That's true- but our repentance is to God, not the media or the general public.
SamanthaNC said... I am SO sick of the "they aren't good Christians" remarks.I am an imperfect Christian. We are ALL imperfect. Is that an excuse to do whatever we want? No. Should we all try our best, regardless of what our faith is? Yes. If you know much at all about Christianity you should know that we aren't supposed to look to each other as an example. If you do- you will almost always be disappointed.May 6, 2009 12:30 PMYou know Samantha, once again you are dead on right. I read your comment and stepped back and realized how accurate that was. We are all imperfect indeed and should not be looking at each other as examples. I think I certainly did that because of Jon being on tv. And, yes, forgiveness and mercy are the Christian life. Thanks for re-opening my eyes on that. (or, at least seeing the Gosselin blinder I had on that). I can see how this is helping Kate during this time.
I agree with you LizaBeth 100%
People most certainly are feeling duped. J&K are making the rounds professing thier faith and trying to sell to the masses that they are good Christian parents. Is this an example of good Christian parent behavior? Show me where J&K have declared themselves "good Christians"? They've said they are Christian. They have professed their faith. Being Christian and having religious faith does not mean being perfect. I don't understand this attitude. If you're Christian, are you saying that you've never done anything wrong? And if you had, that would suddenly make you not-Christian?They do owe people an explanation. They asked us to buy into their show, books, speaking engagments saying it's their actual "reality," all the while leading lives that are not at all what they themselves portray.I think people have made their own choice to "buy into" whatever they bought into. It's your choice to watch the show, buy the books, attend speaking engagements, give the Gosselins "love offerings". They haven't made you do any of these things. I don't even know that they've *asked* people to do these things, explicitly. Even if they had, we all have free will. I also don't get the idea that this story is SO FAR from what we've seen on the show. I watched the show. I saw a marriage that could be rocky at times. I saw a man who did not appear to be hugely bright or motivated. It's not like Ted Haggard or somebody who presented himself as *totally different* on the surface from what was going on in the background.
SamanthaNC said... I agree, we are all sinners but when we sin, we are to repent not deny everything thru our publicist. That's true- but our repentance is to God, not the media or the general public.May 6, 2009 1:06 PM-------So then they are intentionally lying to the public? Lying is lying, and that is a sin also. Intentional sin, in their case.You can't have it both ways.
Theresa-I didn't mean to come across holier than thou- trust me I'm not.I'm definitley guilty of the same thing- and I am disgusted with Jon's behavior- even if he isn't "technically" cheating.I just hate the whole good Christian, bad Christian thing.Thanks for your sweet words!
No hearthubby-They dont owe us anything, not you, not me. If they want what really happened to stay between them then it should- and has no bearing on their status with God.Don't make this out to be about their faith- when all you want is the dirt.
Personally I think his behavior sheds a lot of light on why Kate acts the way she does with him. I'm willing to bet this isn't the first time he's cheated. Kate probably feels like she has a frat boy living in the house and treats him as such. I said before on another blog that these two are ying & yang and probably quite perfect for each other, and you can see that when you look back at the show's beginnings. Unfortunately the fame and fortune has blinded them, like it does to a lot of people. I don't even know how their relationship can be recovered at this point. I'm sure Kate is incredibly embarrassed by this scandal and will never fully trust him again. She might be a b*itch, but you've never seen footage of her doing things behind Jon's back.
I'm surprised Jon is denying it, I convicted him last night in my own mind. I would like to believe him, but I'm cynical since more info has come out. Kate references Jon's poor judgment in the Hollywood Ins article. Apparently, she didn't know of this. Being out w/a young girl is def something a wife should know about. He could be lying now to try to keep Kate and I wouldn't be surprised. The brother sounds like a sneaky sleaze and w/his statements about the thin walls he could be trying to get back at his sis like she says. But, it's all too suspect and I think Jon cheated.The TMZ clip was horrible, what scum to harass someone like that. I wonder how Kate will be able to appear on LKL. I would want some time alone and w/each other before making any statements. Jon has really hurt his family by his actions. I hope Kate finds comfort in her faith, she has 8 kids to be strong for and one clueless husband to deal with.Weed, I'm sorry, it sounds like you're having a rough time. Hope it gets better for you soon.
Whatever is true or not true, who knows but them.Here is something sad though. My 10 year old niece who LOVES watching reruns of the show, well her mom is doing anything and everything to keep her out of the store and see the US weekly covers. Imagine how it must be for Mady and Cara, since chances are a friend has seen it all.
I agree Jen, I think this sheds a lot of light into their real life. I think Jon has always acted immature and if Im not wrong he has admitted several times that he's just a big kid, he likes having no responsibilities, etc.
Sandy said...Long long time lurker. I just watched the TMZ clip and I just felt so incredibly sad for Kate. Nice to see you posting, Sandy. :-)I agree the clip was hard to watch. I think she handled herself with grace and dignity in view of the circumstances, however.To those who think Kate should drop everything and rush home and be with her children during this time, as Liza Beth rightly points out, Kate has contractual obligations to fulfill. Could she get out of them temporarily - possibly yes, possibly no, but any working parent knows you have to balance family life and your job and sometimes the job will take priority depending on the circumsntances. At least in my view of things, she is demonstrating how to behave responsibly and dependably to her children. (Something they may not be getting from their father.)
Guin: Obviously I have hit a nerve w/you.Yeah, extreme judgmentalism and stating opinion as fact both bug me.To me a book tour is not a job. Appearing on talk shows is not a job. But Kate's book tours take her away from home for 4-5 straight days where she is not coming home to fix the kids dinner, bathe them, put them to bed, help them with their homework.I consider the book tour a job. You have the right to your opinion, but I don't understand feeling that you have the right to determine what is or is not a valid job for a total stranger. It seems so nervy to me.My question is who is there doing the nurturing for these young children. Yes I don't know their "inside" life but do you? Children at this age need nurture. Well, Jon was supposed to be, but he apparently wasn't home. But that's all Kate's fault, of course. I am not a Kate hater.. I am not a Jon hater.. In fact I don't even hate my ex-husband...Hate is not a word that ever is in my vocabulary. I just would look at myself if I were you and wonder why I feel the need to blame the (allegedly) cheated on spouse for the cheating rather than the (alleged) cheater. All I know is that there are a number of women on the anti-Gosselin blogs who seems to have some pretty whacked ideas about what it means to be a wife and a mother. I always knew that there were women out there who were really hard on other women, and they all seem to have congregated on the Gosselin hate blogs.
It's not about the dirt. It's about them claiming to live one way, while living another.
http://www.usmagazine.com/news/deanna-hummel-brother-i-have-no-reason-to-lie-200965I've been a lurker here for awhile . . .and as much as I hate to admit it, for me, this has become one of those train wrecks that you can't turn away from. It looks like the brother has issued a statement in response to everyone else's responses. And the saga continues . . .
This is interesting alsohttp://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/05/exclusive-video-eyewitness-%E2%80%9Cjon-kate%E2%80%9D-star-cheating-tells-all
Job- being paid to perform a task, set by said employer. How doesn't Kate not have a job again?I think people who say Kate doesn't have a job mean that Kate doesn't have a job like they have, or that Kate has a better job than she deserves or that it's not hard enough work (in their minds) for the kind of money she makes.
To those who think Kate should drop everything and rush home and be with her children during this time, as Liza Beth rightly points out, Kate has contractual obligations to fulfill.Anya - I think you can put me in the camp that Kate should be home right now with the kids, because her husband has shown incredibly poor judgement lately, and quite frankly, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him home with the kids. If the tape is accurate, he has chosen to be with his mistress instead of being home with his kids. Personally, I would feel comfortable with a more responsible, caring adult around, and I don't think a paid caregiver would fall in that category (a close family member the kids are comfortable with, would.)The kids have to have a lot of questions, and I'm sure the attention on them will be intense for the next few days. I'm just speaking for myself, but I would prefer to be there for them in person to handle the situation, not a state or 2 away.The other stuff can always be rescheduled.
Kate has been caught in a lie AGAIN! Since she does have a job, then how can TLC say that the show allows both parents to be "stay at home" parents?Again, you can't have it both ways. Something seems fishy.
i had planned to not comment on this, as i am just heartsick for those kids. no matter how i feel about these parents, i could never find happiness in seeing a family fall apart. i pray that they are able to seek wise counsel, evaluate their priorities and focus on their family. that being said, i had to put my two cents in on the "good public christian" debate. YES: christians are imperfect sinners, just like everyone else. Yes: we ask forgiveness from the Lord, not the media. BUT: if a prominent christian figure is caught in an inappropriate situation, the appropriate and Biblical response is to admit to your wrong and apologize. if Billy Graham were caught with another woman, he would be expected to apologize and admit his wrong, not have a publicist DENY DENY DENY. that's called honesty. are we owed answers or details? NOpe. but if you choose to have your faith be a part of your public image, speak in churches, and publish christian books then there is a certain accountibility that goes with it.my husband and i are fairly "high up" leaders in our church. the Bible is very clear on the higher standard set for those in leadership. if my husband has an affair or i decide to become an alcoholic, i do owe my congregation an apology. now if he truly didn't have an affair, then so be it. but it looks to me like there is entirely too much smoke to not be some kind of fire.ok, i'll get off my soapbox now :)
I heart my hubby, if I had kids I would be a stay at home parent. Because I work from home. I am still working 9-10 hours a day, but since I work from home and can in some ways dictate my own hours, I would not be seen as a 'working mom' since I do not leave my house to do my job.It is NOT a lie if its gray area like this. As others have mentioned this is not as black and white as some make it seem. I think there is a good explanation for Kate's behavior and choices but have yet to see a good reason for Jon to be acting as he is now.
Guin, in my opinion you were unfair to OhioMom."I just would look at myself if I were you and wonder why I feel the need to blame the (allegedly) cheated on spouse for the cheating rather than the (alleged) cheater."What does that even mean? I read OhioMom and she said she didn't blame either Jon or Kate entirely, where do you read that she is blaming Kate?'Judging and stating opinion as fact' didn't seem to bug you, or at least it didn't get an argument from you when it was a comment about Aunt Jodi yesterday. Does judging and stating opinion as fact always bother you or only in connection with Jon and Kate?It's just OhioMom's opinion that it takes two to end a marriage. In my experience I don't agree with that statement, but it doesn't make her wrong. It just means she thinks differently than we do. And not that we all can't do with a little self-examination from time to time but I don't think OhioMom needs to be told to take a look at herself and wonder anything. She sounds to me like she's doing very well as a single Mom and working very well through her feelings about her ex-husband.
A minute ago, TLC showed one of its Summer Season preview commercials--the J&K one with Emeril. So it doesn't look like the show is being cancelled.Anya, I agree with you--Kate likely does have contractual obligations. Seeing as so many people thought the show might be cancelled over all of today's brouhaha, it makes sense that she would keep these obligations--you know, before she no longer would have a way to earn money for her family.
Eileen, Below is one of OhioMom's comments from GWoP. She is having fun over here. Her comments are meant to push buttons. Can someone that posts on this site not push back? 5/06/2009 11:52 AMAnonymous BarbBe53 said... Just for the fun of it I have been commenting on the other site and boy have I hit some nerves. They are very defensive when it comes to Kate. They probably will be nominating her to the Pope for sainthood. I just want this story to go away. I just want the Gosselins to return to being just a family w/8 kids from small town Pennsylvania.
Nina- how do you know that is her? Just wondering!
Liza Beth,There is no gray area. TLC said that the show allows for the kids to have two stay at home parents. Kate DOES NOT stay at home to work her job. What's the gray area there?
I can't get off on other people's misery, so I think this stinks. Pray...pray for the kids.
Well some one emailed us to tell us about it. She mentions in several posts that she is from Ohio. Barbe53 and Ohio Mom 53. She states in this comment that she is posting over here. Raise your hand if it is someone else.
Those poor kids. :(
My apologies to Guin.This is insanity.My apologies for that remark to OhioMom if you really do exist as just OhioMom and not someone else also posting on another site and only posting here to rile things up.ThreeAmazingKids, how is everything at home?Hope all is well.
Deanna Hummel says she is sickened by the reports circulating about her relationship with Jon Gosselin. This week, she came forward to say she's just friends with the star of TLC's Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Now Hummel, 23, is fighting back against her brother Jason and his claims that she really is having a fling with the married father of twin daughters and sextuplets. "My brother is making this all up," Hummel tells PEOPLE. "He has no credibility ... I can't even stomach the lies he's saying about me." Hummel continues to deny any sort of romantic relationship with Gosselin, and the elementary school teacher admits that there's been bad blood between her and her brother for a while now. "My brother is very shady," says Hummel. "He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He's on probation right now." And though the siblings live together, she says she was in the process of buying their home – and asking him to move out. "He wanted to get back at me ... he knows he's getting kicked out of the house." Among what Jason Hummel, 28, claims is he overheard his sister having sex with the married reality star. A claim Hummel says "is completely crazy!" She adds: "I'm so hurt that he put my occupation out there. He has put my job in jeopardy. I can't take my kids to recess without worrying that people will come up and harass me and the other teachers. It's not fair." (People) From People magazine.
Ha! She says her brother put her career on the line! Oh my heavens...... @@
Good heavens. I'm assuming OhioMom is 53 (both her screenname here and at GWOP suggest that). How mature to be pushing buttons about a reality television show at that age. So, what buttons are you pushing; and whose nerves did you hit here? Nobody on this site thinks Kate is perfect; but nobody thinks she's evil either. But let me get this straight, if we aren't bashing Kate and damning her to hell or agreeing with people who do that (like you), then it's assumed that we think she's Pope of Sainthood? Good to know you're so open-minded and encourage free thinking and open discussion, similar to all the ladies on your fine site. Going along with the crowd on a subject about which you (or us) know nothing and making claims that have no basis...but claiming they're fact just because you so want them to be true -- that's not being a "sheeple"?
What does that even mean? I read OhioMom and she said she didn't blame either Jon or Kate entirely, where do you read that she is blaming Kate?Eileen, I was basing this on many of her statements in this thread, for instance this one:Who is to say Kate is innocent she was always the smart one of the two and probable is much more discreet than dummy Jon. Why is Kate so happy on her book tours? I don't know why I should be surprised at the sorts of things that those who dislike the Gosselins will say about them at this point. Many of these posters have shown that there is no line they won't cross. So accusing Kate of adultery (with no, I repeat, NO evidence) is just an average day for them. But since she is posting it in this thread (while bragging about her trolling elsewhere), I'm going to call a spade a spade. Accusing Kate of adultery with no evidence is nothing but an attempt to mitigate Jon's blame, IMO.'Judging and stating opinion as fact' didn't seem to bug you, or at least it didn't get an argument from you when it was a comment about Aunt Jodi yesterday. Does judging and stating opinion as fact always bother you or only in connection with Jon and Kate?What are you referring to with Jodi yesterday? My calling her St. Jodi? That's not stating opinion as fact, I don't think. It's just a name meant to poke fun at her slavish devotees. I have no problems with Jodi. Are you referring to something else?These are some examples of "stating opinion as fact" as I see it:Jon and Kate (not just Kate) need to come clean about their marriage. It has been on the skids even before they moved into the mansion. This marriage ended long before Jon allegedly cheated on Kate. They have been living a charade of a marriage since Season 4 began. We all have watched the show from the beginning. You saw a true, loving couple struggling to cope with 8 children.You weren't seeing the Mommy smile, you were seeing the stress of constant filming and the toll it was taking on this family. Then they moved into the big house, the couch interviews (ouch, uncomfortable) and we were seeing cracks in the facade. Now there is a chasm in this family that we have grown to care for and it is just a sad situation.All opinion as fact as I see it, and presumptously assuming that everyone sees things the same way as she does. Which I personally find annoying.And not that we all can't do with a little self-examination from time to time but I don't think OhioMom needs to be told to take a look at herself and wonder anything. Seriously? I would not normally tell anyone that. But seeing as Ohiomom has it all figured out - knows what Kate should do, what Jon should do (wait, did she even express that? For a story about Jon's alleged cheating, she has spent much, much more time enumerating Kate's faults and giving her instructions for self-improvement), what TLC should do, and even what constitutes a "real" job, it occurred to me that she was spending so much time fixing other peoples' problems that she probably hadn't had a moment for self-reflection.
. "I have a bad past and I'm not proud of it," he told the magazine. "I was selling drugs. I didn't get a jail sentence, I'm on probation. When I made my mistake, I was the same age as my sister is now, making her mistake. Hopefully she can learn from it." (He is 29, Deanna is 23). He also told Us Weekly, "[Deanna's] worried about her career and reputation...I think she feels partly hurt by him trying to deny it, and partly like an idiot for not realizing what was going on sooner."Jason Hummel -- a full-time student at Reading Area Community College - was candid about his historyIt seems to me that everyone involved is doing a bunch of cya-ing (covering their own behinds). I wouldn't doubt that Jon and Kate both are having improper relations at this point--they are that greedy and do not take their childrens' welfare into account at all anymore. (imo)
I hope that this drama helps them to see that it is time to end the series. I hope that if they do decide to end the series that TLC is supportive and does not give them grief. I also hope that the paparazi and tabloids get out of their city and leave the kids alone. The other woman is a school teacher. There are now more than just 8 kids being hurt by this. Immagine having your kids being taught by this teacher and having to deal with the questions and drama too. Yikes! This is not going to end well. :/Eileen,Calm! We are in a holding pattern till friday. :)
AAP said....I think you can put me in the camp that Kate should be home right now with the kids, because her husband has shown incredibly poor judgement lately, and quite frankly, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him home with the kids. If the tape is accurate, he has chosen to be with his mistress instead of being home with his kids. Personally, I would feel comfortable with a more responsible, caring adult around, and I don't think a paid caregiver would fall in that category (a close family member the kids are comfortable with, would.) You raise solid points. I can't disagree with you. I *hope* there is family support there for all of them (even Jon who clearly has some issues he needs to work on).I agree a paid caregiver who has just come into the kids lives a few months ago cannot be a substitute for a responsible parent or a relative or family friend that has been around since the beginning. I doubt the little ones have any clue of the firestorm, but I can't see how Mady and Cara could be entirely protected from it. Despite our fears that the older ones might come across some of the vicious stuff written on the internet, it is Jon that caused a situation that got the tabloids involved and no good can come off that.
the brother has quite a rap sheet! look:http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/34903119.html#cutid1
oops bad link. here: http://tinyurl.com/dga7vz
Jason Hummel: a 29-year-old full-time community college student, couch crasher and (ex)drug pusher who sells his sister out to make a few bucks.What a catch, eh ladies!?
Anya, I laughed at that... I'm single, I can fix him!!COMPLETELY kidding. Seriously-- I have no idea who this guy is, but he seems far less reliable than a 3rd grade teacher. Again, there is something going on with Jon being around her at all hours, but I think Mr. Jason "Concealed Firearms" Hummel was looking to get some great press and make a few bucks.
I'm not going to debate about a person who may or may not exist, or who may or may not mean a word of what he or she said.My apologies again, Guin.And, apologies to OhioMom again too, if I'm being unfair thinking you may have two identities.The Jodi remarks were made by someone else, I said my piece about that yesterday, I have no desire to single anyone out, especially when I feel they are entitled to their opinion no matter how unfair I might feel it is, it just all seems a little one-sided to me.ThreeAmazingKids, I hope things stay calm. I wish your family all the best.
I agree that Jon has shown no regard for his children or his wife. If he wanted out of the marriage, he should have ended that relationship before starting a new one. He evidently has broken his wedding vows.But so has Kate. Surely we are not to ignore the vows to love, honor, cherish and respect. Kate, as far as we know, has not cheated on Jon but she has not kept her vows to honor and respect him. She has treated him horribly for the four years (seasons) that they've been on tv.They have both destroyed this marriage. They have both set terrible examples for their children.I don't want to see any marriage end like this and I am so very sad for the children. Divorce is hard enough on kids withou it being witnessed by the world.Jon and Kate, stop this show now to protect your children.
BUT: if a prominent christian figure is caught in an inappropriate situation, the appropriate and Biblical response is to admit to your wrong and apologize. if Billy Graham were caught with another woman, he would be expected to apologize and admit his wrong, not have a publicist DENY DENY DENY. that's called honesty.Are we really comparing Jon to Billy Graham? Billy Graham is an evangelist- Jon is a dad that is on tv and is also a Christian- it isn't about "lying" for me.Jon and Kate have things to work through before they come out to the media and beg forgiveness. Are you perfect? Do you "confess" all your sins to everyone you know? I don't.
"If a prominent christian figure is caught in an inappropriate situation, the appropriate and Biblical response is to admit to your wrong and apologize. if Billy Graham were caught with another woman, he would be expected to apologize and admit his wrong, not have a publicist DENY DENY DENY. that's called honesty."Uh, Jim Bakker anyone? He denied denied denied for over a year while a grand jury investigated all those fraud charges before indicting him.
The only innocents in this are the 8 children caught in the middle. I wish that everyone involved would take them into consideration. I heard somewhere recently that Billy Graham had a rule to not be alone with a woman that was not his wife anywhere, anytime. Seems to be a good rule to follow.
Don't judge me for knowing this... lolthedirty.com has screen shots of a supposed amature "adult" tape of the woman accused of being the other woman...
mrsref- my husband and i have the same rule and it applies to both of us, to never even give the appearance of evil. samantha- i was not saying he is billy graham. i stated that he is a prominent christian figure who speaks at churches and has written a christian book. no one said he has to confess all his sins, lets not exxagerate every statement i made. i said in that world he is held to a higher accountibility for being a christian figure. if i participated in any of these types of activities i would absolutely be expected to publicly confess and apologize to my congregation. as a teacher in our church and head of women's ministry i have that higher accountibility for my actions. not only what i DO but how things APPEAR.
I had sometime to think about what everyone has written and I come to one conclusion. I understand Jon is having some difficulty in his life so be it a "middle age crisis" or whatever it is but I was never the person to push someone under the bus farther. I'll treat Jon and Kate like anyone I know who is going through tough times and support them. I will support Jon and Kate, less the blame, bless those beautiful children and wish Jon and Kate the best to get the help they need to be a stronger family. I don't care they are on TV and are considered Celebrities and in the end they are a family who at this moment are having difficult times. I will never kick someone while they are down even strangers. I wish them the best!!!!
indianprincess, you're a good person. I love what you wrote. It's not about being a "sheeple" to me - it's about being a decent human being, wishing the best for people and not judging as much as possible.mrsref- my husband and i have the same rule and it applies to both of us, to never even give the appearance of evil. I realize that some people come from much more conservative traditions than mine, and I respect that. My first thought though is that this seems rather restrictive. I do think men and women can be friends, even if one or both of them are married.My second thought is that this isn't too far off from the law in some countries under Islamic rule - women can be convicted of adultery simply for being alone with a man who is not a relative or their husband. It's a bit chilling to me that there are those here who advocate for anything even approaching such thinking.
themrs...AMEN TO THAT! I agree 110%
. if i participated in any of these types of activities i would absolutely be expected to publicly confess and apologize to my congregation. as a teacher in our church and head of women's ministry i have that higher accountibility for my actions. not only what i DO but how things APPEAR.Is there a reason that you dont seem to understand/care that they are still in the middle of this thing- whatever it is. They have the right to deal with this as a family before they explain or "confess" anything to you or I. Would you get up before your congregation before you had worked things out at home and made things right where it really matters? I hope not. They have a right to some modicum of privacy- at least Kate and the children do. Period.
women can be convicted of adultery simply for being alone with a man who is not a relative or their husband. It's a bit chilling to me that there are those here who advocate for anything even approaching such thinking.I'm not sure if you have an issue with themrs like you did with Ohiomom, but the way I took the comment was that it applied to BOTH the husband and wife. While I concur about the rule being restrictive, if a husband and wife both agree to follow it, who are we to judge? It's a personal decision between them, and I think it's a far cry from Islamic law.
I'm not sure if you have an issue with themrs like you did with Ohiomom, but the way I took the comment was that it applied to BOTH the husband and wife. While I concur about the rule being restrictive, if a husband and wife both agree to follow it, who are we to judge? It's a personal decision between them, and I think it's a far cry from Islamic law.I'm not sure what you mean by having an "issue" - I don't have an issue with any other poster, though I sometimes have issues with what they post. I was not saying that the two situations are the same, but for me they are on the same spectrum. The idea behind each is the same, I think - that men and women cannot be trusted not to behave appropriately and also that others will (and should?) assume that one has sinned unless one avoids any and all situations in which such a thing could possibly occur. To me, such thinking is unhealthy and repressive.
Indian Princess, I most definitely like the way you think. None of us ever know what goes on behind closed doors and while it's obvious that Gosselins are having a troubling time, I, too, hope for the sake of their family that they will be able to come out of this as a whole family. I do not believe in kicking someone while they are down. It's much easier to be positive than to be negative.
Indianprincess, You seem so nice! :-) I think it's a great spirit to want to support Jon and Kate as they go through this, but the reason I'm skeptical about this whole thing is because Jon has yet to show that he wants to work things out/stop acting a fool/grow the h*ll up. His MO is do something dumb, get defensive, give a generic apology and repeat. I think all the prayers and well- wishes in the world can't help someone who refuses to acknowledge or change his behavior.
Begin mini-rant:I saw a story about this mess when I was on my email homepage, and it has the following quote from Jon:“It’s really upsetting. I may be guilty of choosing the wrong time and place to hang out with my friends, but I am not guilty of cheating on my wife.”This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Why is a 30-something man friends with a 23-year-old? I don't think there's any problems with age differences in friendships in general, but the fact that Kate appears not to know this woman and Jon and Deanna's "mutual friends" are some vague shadows at best just reeks of shady. It's not like he met her in dance class, or pottery club, etc. How many social options does a stay-at-home dad with 8 kids have anyway? I just think in these situations, the total stranger aspect makes it worse, because it indicates one (more likely both) of them deliberately sought out the other. Don't even get me started on the use of "friends" (plural). Let me guess, the rest of the gang isn't into cars? Jon's dumb*ssery never ceases to amaze.End rant--happy Thursday! :-)
has yet to show that he wants to work things out/stop acting a fool/grow the h*ll up. You are so right, with his behaviour he has proven he can't be trusted etc...I think all the prayers and well- wishes in the world can't help someone who refuses to acknowledge or change his behavior. I would have to disagree with this as in my own life I finally seen the light after years of being in denial of my dangerous behaviour. I finally managed to see the light with the support of some great people. Jon maybe going through some form of indentiy problem and he's probably figuring out his place in this world of being a celebrity but it doesn't mean he's shouldn't get support even if he hasn't seen his own light..aka his wonderful 8 blessings.
I feel for Kate so much. Below is the video of TMZ attacking her when she was leaving my book signing. She didn't take the bait. Girlfriend cant even go to FAO Schwartz (getting gifts for the kids) without getting harassed by the media I am excited to see them all on the Today show and Kate alone on Rachel Ray Next Tuesday. It was taped today and she spoke A LOT about how sad she is right now. http://www.tmz.com/2009/05/06/jon-and-kate-plus-8-affair
It was taped today and she spoke A LOT about how sad she is right now.I'm confused Baby Mama, did you see the preview of her appearnce on Rachael Ray? How do you know she's sad? Please share.
I have a link to it above this thread under updates, Theresa. http://www.usmagazine.com/news/jon-kate-mom-theres-never-really-any-going-back-200965
IMO - Kate has a lot of control issues. So it isn't surprising to me that she would be attracted to a man who she could try to "control." I also think that this gives a lot of insights into who she is, who he is, and how they interact as a couple. He sounds so immature in these articles . . . whining about how he can't spend time with his friends. She sounds so much like a mother . . . his mother . . . commenting about his irresponsible behavior and his poor judgement. I tend to believe that there was an improper relationship. I also wouldn't be surprised if among the things that are revealed is that Jon may have developed a drinking problem. Not sure, but it wouldn't surprise me. I feel very sad for those kids. I also feel very sad for Kate. I feel a little sad for Jon because he strikes me as the kind of person who'd realize way too late how he hurt his family and himself.
I have not been following the gosselins for a while now so when I checked in here and saw the whole US weekly article and the all the rumors leading up to it, i was so shocked.I have been reading all the comments and all I can say is I so feel for Kate right now. That clip of her being badgered showed such great restraint and I admire her for it. If I were in her shoes, I know I would feel a simmering of rage that my husband, a man I trusted and loved, would ever put me in that spot. I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to work through this, but I hope they do, if there's still love and the possibility that trust could be resuscitated.Despite all the protests, I think that Jon is guilty. Too many inappropriate actions, including "hanging out" at the wrong times with a 23 yr. old. So many little clues, and if it talks like a duck...Also, I've been reading US weekly for a while now, and to my recollection, all their breaking news are always verified. They are not that sleazy. They even broke the Leannne Rimes affair, vehemently denied, and then when the evidence came out (pictures, vids, etc), all Rimes could say was basically no comment.As for the man and woman being friends, different couples have different things work for them. Being friends with the opposite sex shouldn't even be remotely considered evil, imo. My best friend is a guy, and neither one of our spouses ever question this or have issues about it. It depends on the pattern of the person's behavior.
themrs, I agree with you. If Jon and Kate lived by the philosophy of avoiding the appearance of evil, their lives would be a lot more pleasant right now. It doesn't mean you have to live a perfect life, but try to learn from your mistakes--Jon doesn't seem to be doing that. I also agree with indian princess that they need our well wishes and prayers. I don't think the two opinions are mutually exclusive. If Jon was my brother, I would support him and pray with him--and most likely smack him upside the head.
I am reading from the bottom of the thread up. Indianprincess, ITA about the power of prayer and who deserves it. Wise, wise comment. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you Nina. I thought with the way Baby Mama described the appearance on RR, that she saw a clip somewhere.I just saw on the beginning of the Today Show where they preview stories and the slugline was Kate Speaks. (I had the monitor down, as I had to get into my own newscast here at work).
As tintin and others have said, US is more legit than some of the rags, so to print a story like this with named sources (not "a close family friend speculates.."),they must be pretty sure they're right. I just hope there isn't more "evidence" that they are going to bring out after all the denials. Since the brother took the video of Jon leaving, he may have taken other videos/pics too.I really hope not, but I have a bad feeling about it.
Goodness - I was on MSNBC.com this morning and guess what story is featured?? Here's the link if anyone wants to read it:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30604049/this is just getting to be too much. Someone else said this and I agree - it's like a wreck that you can't look away from. I've written alot in the last few days about my opinions on this whole mess but I've got to stop now - I just want the kids to be okay and unless this wreck stops, they won't be. As much as I think Kate is NOT innocent in all this - I have to admit that I do feel for her - my first husband cheated on my many times and no matter if your marriage was on shaky grounds that betrayal is something that cuts to the core of your soul - so I just have to keep my opinions about Kate to myself and realize that I was in that position once myself and it ain't fun no matter how you try and work it, it just hurts. So - I'll keep reading along with the rest of you but I think I'll keep my opinions about this mess to myself from now on 'cause this whole mess has bought up alot from my past and I don't like it.
i think i should explain our "rule" a little more clearly. i have male and female friends. i do not spend time with my male friends alone. this is not because i might cheat on my husband with them, but because of how it looks for others. now let me qualify that- i have a close gay friend. i may have lunch with him and his partner, but not either of them alone. no one is going to see me at lunch with them and think "oh she's having an affair with both of those men". i would not, however, go to a bar late at night with them. OTOH, my husband would not go to lunch with a female friend alone. if he goes out to lunch with his boss (who's female) they always invite another coworker. in fact, recently, a younger (college age) woman at our church had car trouble. my husband called me and asked me to come pick her up as he thought it would be inappropriate for him to take her home. not because he thought he might have sex with her, but to avoid the appearance of evil. my husband and i personally believe that occasional drinking is fine. my father in law is in a popular band that frequently does shows in our hometown. when that occurs, we go to bars and see him play. sometimes i've had a girls night out at a club. i don't think any of those are a big deal. but i would not have a night out at a bar with a male friend because of how that looks for others. as a leader in my christian community, i have to be very careful how things appear to others. if i'm never seen alone with another man, there is no way for someone to say they saw me in a comprimising situation. and believe me, i have to protect myself. there is always someone who wants to bring someone else down. i think we've all seen that here. even if jon did not have an affair, look what the appearance of evil did to his wife and children. i only hope that is not irreparable damage.
themrs:I agree. My husband and I follow the same practice- it works for us. I think most of us agree that even though we don't know how far things went for sure, it looks really bad and he made extremely poor choices. He has admitted that he made very poor decisions and needs to be careful who he "spends time with".I don't think he is a church leader but that doesnt matter, no husband should put himself in the position that Jon has as of late. He has put his family in such an unfair- not to mention embarrassing- situation.
SamanthaNC - - I love your kitty picture. I just printed it off to hang on my computer with the rest of pictures I have. I'm the crazy cat-lady and proud of it!!Have a great day!
themrs,Thank you for explaining your rule. It's your rule, though, and not necessarily everyone else's. For example, I am Christian and would be disappointed if my husband called me to pick up a young female friend with car trouble when he could have more easily offered a ride. I might make her feel like even more of an imposition to us. Our circle of family and friends and church members would not be scandalized by my husband giving someone with car trouble a ride home, though. My point is that there is not one monolithic response for a Christian to every single little circumstance. So I have to agree with Samantha that publicly apologizing for wrongdoing in the midst of the crisis is not necessarily the only Christian response. Announcing that you are working on the problem privately (especially with children involved) is, IMO, the more responsible public reaction.It may cost them speaking engagements at churches that demand a different response, but that's not the only way to decide what response one should give.
i don't have a problem with them announcing that they are working on it privately, i have a problem with him saying he didn't do it if he did. i have a problem with him lying (and in return calling other parties liars) to cover his own hide.
Weed- Glad you like it, I thought it was pretty cute! Also we all need a friend that "has our back" :)
as a leader in my christian community, i have to be very careful how things appear to others. if i'm never seen alone with another man, there is no way for someone to say they saw me in a comprimising situation. and believe me, i have to protect myself. there is always someone who wants to bring someone else down.I find it incredibly sad that some people feel they have to live this way. To not be able to enjoy an innocent meal with a male friend or to offer someone of the opposite sex a ride home in order to maintain appearances is a terribly restrictive way to live, IMO. I guess I am lucky that I have the luxury of not caring what "others" think about me. I just live my life to the best of my ability, have faith in my relationship with my spouse, and don't worry about what others think. On the flip side, I don't worry about what other people are doing, either. If it doesn't have a direct impact on my life, isn't illegal or endangering others, it is none of my business. As a whole, I think if everyone would spend more time concerning with themselves and making their lives better and less time worrying about others, the whole world would be a better place.
themrs,I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that Jon should publicly confess and apologize to his congregation. That's really what I was disagreeing with. Sorry.
I have noticed several comments regarding how "sorry" people may feel for Kate. IF Kate is also found to be doing what appears to be "cheating", would anyone feel sorry for Jon?I feel no sorrow or pity for either one of these people. I just feel badly for the 8 kids involved.
I'd feel sorry for anyone whose spouse cheats, Nancy. And like everyone else, I feel sorriest for the kids. I assume everyone does.
I feel incredibly sorry for the children. But I do feel sorry for Kate, nobody deserves to have such a personal issue exploited. If Jon were in Kate's position I would feel sorry for him too.
I'd hate to think it were true.It seems like it probably is.But who is the other person in the picture sitting next to John while Deanna is on the lawn in a bikini?Did they interview HIM?
"Why not own up to their reality that is being exposed instead of furthering their dishonesty with the public? It seems like they aren't doing very much of that part of Christianity."This would assume (which we do not know for a fact) that Kate has a) confronted Jon and b) he has confessed to infidelity.Having a spouse going through a tough time due to an addiction tantamount to infidelity--it is tough for the person on the other side of this.In my case--I knew. And my husband has been given an ultimatum and is presently pursuing counseling to deal with why and heal him of his addiction. (And yes--in his case it is an addiction. Much like not everyone who drinks a glass of wine is not an alcoholic--addicts exist in those who abuse the temptation!)I was devestated for few days and disfunctional--but I put myself back together knowing that my husband is making steps.It is not something I can confess to friends, so I presume one could assume that we are dishonest.No--we are just private. There is no point to make it public. And if someone found out and wishes to accuse us of dishonesty well they would be fools to do so I will tell you that.Until you have a spouse who does something like this--and cheats on your heart either mentally or physically, you can never understand the difficulties (at least for the wife which is my POV).We don't know what Jon did specifically, nor why he did it.We don't have to accept what he did--but we don't have to presume the worst.We don't have to presume that Kate deserved it--I'm sorry--but that is the coward's way out. If you don't like your marriage, leave it--but cheating is the coward's way out.We don't know what Kate knows--it seems she would like to hope that it is not, but she doesn't know what to think.Unless some Paris Hilton tape is released--she will depend on Jons honesty to tell the truth. Only HE knows what that truth is.Accusing them of not being Christian is beyond harsh. Christians are not immune to sin.We also must remember that these are adults making adult choices. This is also testament to the stresses of parenthood and how it can rob the relationship.We can balk all we want about them being on television, but that was not the cause of Jon's shenanigans.Please.That's like blaming me for my husband's issue or a wife for the transgressions of her husband.My husband had his issues long before I entered the picture and from what little history I have read on Jon prior to this expose--it is likely that he probably had some tendency to stray.An honest man doesn't suddenly become a cheater. Cheating is deceit, it is a lie, it is breaking a covenant--a promise. This is developed over a long period of time.And no matter what Kate does--it doesn't excuse it no matter what!
"This is just a theory on my part but I think when Jon was caught in the bar with the coeds, either his girlfriend got pissed and wanted to teach him a lesson, or her brother realized there's money to be made from this. Either way, hopefully this will give Jon a new perpective on why he shouldn't be hanging around college students (or recent grads.)"While this is a great stretch--it would be interesting if this was indeed some long set up. And if Jon is naive enough (instead of a cheater)--he may have just fallen for it. Get enough people to be "in" on the story--and it is enough to fool the world.
A-Mom-ynous, thank you so much for sharing about your situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you and your husband work through everything. I think I would deal with the situation in a similar way, though. Being private is the only way I know how to cope, and it seems like Kate is taking the high road by not discussing things they are still working out as a couple.
The last thing I will say on this matter....well maybe not...IF a prostitute gets raped--she is still a victim.Regardless of Kate's behavior--Jon is the one who got caught. Using Kate's behavior to remove blame from Jon is again--a cowards way out.
A Mom-ynous -If you believe the date on the video (and I'm not 100% sure that I do), it was taken a month before the pictures appeared in US Weekly. The tape was obviously taken by an amateur (I think a professional's version would be clearer, less jerky, and show Jon better) for no other purpose but to establish that Jon supposedly spent the night. Same with the picture on the lawn - it looks like everyone in the picture is unaware they are even being photographed. I don't think it is too much of a stretch to think someone realized there is a buck to be made on the situation, and decided to cash in. There's no other explanation for the video to exist.
I find it incredibly sad that some people feel they have to live this way. To not be able to enjoy an innocent meal with a male friend or to offer someone of the opposite sex a ride home in order to maintain appearances is a terribly restrictive way to live, IMO. I agree. I can sort of understand it as a practical matter, but I can't understand how someone cannot see it as messed up. Living a exemplary life should not be about being *afraid* of what others think all the time. I can't imagine wanting to be part of a community that I felt was so judgmental and suspicious.
It is not something I can confess to friends, so I presume one could assume that we are dishonest.No--we are just private. There is no point to make it public. And if someone found out and wishes to accuse us of dishonesty well they would be fools to do so I will tell you that.Until you have a spouse who does something like this--and cheats on your heart either mentally or physically, you can never understand the difficulties (at least for the wife which is my POV).Amomynous- thank you for sharing with us- these are my thoughts exactly. It isn't about lying its about the right to work through it privately. To suggest that the guilty party should "confess" to the masses only adds insult to injury to the spouse (& children)- how humiliating.If my husband cheated on me it would be painful/embarrassing enough to know that our family, friends, and community gossips were aware of it- but millions of people? No thank you!
A-Momynous: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It makes me value your perspective above everyone else's, including mine.And I too was wondering about the sunbathing photo. Doesn't exactly look like a couple's loving time in the sun, what with Jon sitting at a table some distance away from the bikini-clad girl on the lawn, with that other guy at the table with Jon. Nothing romantic there!
On perezhilton.com there is a blog about Kate supposedly cheating first?Supposedly she was getting too cozy with her trainer, and now may be too close with a bodyguard "Mr. Grey." Who knows what is going on.I watched her last night on LK Live, and thought she was very direct about it. Saying Jon is not dealing with the change in his public image very well. That is obviously true. He said as much at the end of last season. I just cannot imagine how hard it is for her to have to go on national TV and answer questions about her husband cheating on her. I am dealing with it privately and it is very difficult!I hope for the children sake, they figure out their situation quickly. The children deserve better than what is happening now.
Post a Comment